TIRES

There are tires and there are tires. We have those are cars, bikes and carts. None of which compares to the ones on people. Now those are really different.

Only I'm not sure we consider them to be good options. Certainly doctors advocate them as good.

And unlike the other kinds of tires, spare tires around the middle are not bad when they are flat. In fact most people would think it was a good thing that way.

So they definitely are opposite of regular tires. But at least you don't have to worry about the tread coming off of them. At least hopefully you don't.

I think the main thing I consider is that with regular tires you have to worry about things like replacing them. They wear out and that sucks.

So it means a trip to the tire store and sitting around while they replace them. You can also be sure they will probably find something else to soak you to do on your car while you are there.

I always love when you get a flat tire and you take it in to get it fixed. Of course you can be pretty much assured they will tell you they have to replace the tire.

Then it isn't good to have just one new tire, so you replace the other one too. Heck, to be safe just replace them all. Yeah, what's the big deal. It's only money.

Naturally, they will have to do all kinds of little things too such as balancing the tires, rotating them and a few other things so that the price when you get done is nearly twice what you were quoted. And then is called making sure you are driving safe.

Heck, I can't even get away with that much crap as a politician to dole out to people. So color me jealous.

Yeah, I want a shot you know at being able to do the same thing as a politician. To get up and start out telling somebody they can expect me to fix the flat tires on their life's dream wagons.

Later I had to tell them, sorry, but this just can't be repaired. So now folks, we have to dig deep and come up with some extra taxes so I can help you get back on the road to your dreams.

Ah, it sounds so wonderful. Course you understand, I am figuring a way to make this work on my end.

Just have to in order to allow the spare tire around my middle to keep being inflated by all the money I suck from the system. That will make it all worth while too me.

THE BOSS

This is not hard a concept to grasp from my point of view. I mean the boss is generally the one who tells others what to do.

Yep, that is the way it is suppose to be. Which ought to not have to be discussed. However, when you listen to employees the one thing you know is that they hardly view their bosses as bosses.

Some do, but others simply snort and then mumble when they think the boss isn't paying attention. They are the ones to me that do not see the boss as the boss.

In their minds the person holds the title, but is unworthy. So they don't worship or respect the person, just tolerate him or her.

Fact of life, boys and girls, bosses do not have to be good people. Where is that written? I didn't say it was a great thing if it were true, but so often it isn't.

Only that doesn't keep people from regarding that approach in a way that feels they have a right to outline what a boss does in terms of being acceptable. All find and good, but not realistic.

As for me, well call me silly, which would be better than what some prefer to call me. But in any case, I enjoy it when this whole thing remains uncomplicated.

By that I mean you keep your mouth shut and do what you are told. Then wait your turn and figure out the best way to screw the boss in a backstabbing way till you can take over. That is the Limburger approach don't you know.

See, I accept that not everyone who has the label boss is a good boss or even functional. Corporations make mistakes like that all the time.

And in some cases people just are more gifted at massaging the system and playing the game so they are better at sucking up to the bigger boss. So they get the promotion.

It is all one big game of slinging the baloney. And let me tell you the one who learns to do it best is the one who gets the title.

So if you don't like the game, then cheat! Yeah, that is what I said, cheat. Break the rules in a way they don't even recognize you are breaking them.

Now that is what I call being practical. And in the process if you end up figuring a way to backstab the boss while making him think you are on his side, even better.

If you work it right, you might even succeed in taking care of the boss in a way that the person ends up taking a permanent vacation. Then if you have really done your job you get that position. Then comes the fun of making sure you don't end up the next one expected to leave!

SELL MORE, TELL LESS LIES

With knowledge there normally comes some degree of additional responsibility. Basically there are times you have to decide whether it is safe to share certain knowledge.

Now in reality, when you think about it, what really would you not want to tell? I would think information that might upset people. You wouldn't for example be inclined to not want to share say good news like if somebody found a cure for cancer. That you'd be shouting about.

So instead, let's be realistic, the thing you don't want to tell people is bad news. No sense generating a panic.

Which I'm sure is the prevailing thinking regarding what somebody decides is the justified reason our overlords of democracy feel some information might be needed to be guarded. Personally, I'm cool with it.

Frankly, I don't want to know if the world is coming to an end. Honestly, why do I want to know?

Plus I mean if it is going to end before breakfast, do I have to get out of bed for it? I rather sleep through it if I had my options. Why do I need to wake up in order to die some horrible death?

Now outside of that craziness, I do ponder just how much truth you really need? I would care to hear about some things I suppose. Details about ways I can say improve my chances at winning the lottery might be nice.

But being given the facts about how many bullets the Army has is not my idea of important. As long as they don't use them on me, I'm happy.

I might enjoy making a few suggestions in that regard to worthy targets, but otherwise don't bother me with the facts. Just don't leave any bloodstains where I can see them.

Oh I can imagine more than a few would regard my attitude as petty, to say the least, but the way I figure, it is much better to be honest on this subject. I mean really, do most people care about crap that doesn't effect them?

In my opinion the answer is no. They just prefer to act like they care. That sounds so much more nobler.

As long as nobody asks you do actually do anything. Then do the excuses fly. Oh man is that a game.

Makes room a lot for snickers. Mainly from me when I see the people who act like idiots and prefer to pretend they are something else.

But then that is another of those items that is better off not said.

WAY TOO HAPPY

Do you know anyone like this? They are happy to the point of needing therapy. Fun I like, insane I do not.

Which is my view of people with too many smiles and not enough brains. Well I think they are less than sane, my opinion.

Such people are more than entitled to their slice of the world. It has way too much sugar to suit me, but hey, if it works for them fine.

Only just don't shove it up my nose or in my face. Take your warm and fuzzy brownie of brain goo and go snack elsewhere.

And when you come around my part of the world, just keep that brownie somewhere that I don't have to see it or smell it. Because it might be heaven to you, but it is boring and yucky too me.

I'm sorry, you can live in a fabulous enchanted world of your own creation. As for me, I still have to make a living where world is anything other than charmed.

I hate to sound so negative on this subject, but the plain fact for me is such people from my view live in denial. Yep, that is what I said denial.

The reason I say that is because such people are so caught up only seeing rainbows, they never see when they step in mud. And if you don't see the mud how can you keep it from messing you up?

My point is simple that I think being happy is a good thing. Being sappy is not the same thing.

You do have to see the roses and smell them too. However, if they are under a mound of fertilizer don't pretend the beauty keeps things from stinking.

That is being what I call in denial. You can't eliminate the smell just by seeing the beauty. So should you hate the beauty because of the smell?

No, you just deal with the smell along the way. Use some means to not let it ruin you ability to enjoy the beauty.

That to me is what I call being realistic. It is figuring out the way that lets you really enjoy something.

Course that is my view. I let the terminally happy do whatever. They are beyond help in my opinion.

I just don't want to catch their disease!

SORROW, BLUES AND HAPPY

Now you might presume that sorrow and blues are perhaps the same. I'm inclined to treat them as different. Sorrow is naturally to me when you are sad for a particular reason. Something has you bummed out. It might be life, but normally I think it is for a given reason of because of a specific person or situation.

Blues on the other hand for me is a generally state of mind. It is like different layers of sorrow accumulate till you just have this big blanket of blues to wrap your day.

Why do I differ between the two? Mainly because you have to deal with them differently. Sorrow is from my point of view, more something you can ease with a smile. You can sort of balance it out by figuring a way to give sorrow back to whoever gave it to you. In which case you end up happy. The general theory naturally.

Blues, on the other hand, being a mood and the result of a whole lot of crap, can be tougher to battle. Happy helps, but since there is no one enemy that causes the blues, it is harder to blame somebody for the results. And thus harder to wring a smile from the process.

My opinion naturally, but let me tell you as a politician this is definitely very important in my position. It really means a lot in terms of dealing with people.

For example, with blues, you listen, you agree and then you leave without telling them lots of big lies. Mainly because it would be a waste of time.

Sorrow, in the meantime has a different point of view. With sorrow, you have to be careful to be sure it doesn't turn to rage. Now that is when you start sweating.

Because with sorrow the person might be hiding some cannon under his or her clothes and decide the only way to smile is to use it on you. Which might make them smile, but you if you are sitting there with holes in your body.

So that means being able to careful interpret, which is which. The difference resulting in either you get to leave and live on or end up being fitted for a box.

Some choice huh? Like that helps inspire a good reaction. However, the one thing that it does do is help me to be responsible in terms of how I cope.

Along the way I feel the joy of knowing that if I survive and actually gives someone a smile, I've done good. Which ends up giving me a smile.

In other situations, I feel grateful when I survive a given experience without a need for medical treatment. That is most comforting, when I have a reason to get my suits cleaned.

The are much harder to clean when they have bullet holes and bloodstains

DAYS GONE BY

Ah the wave of nostalgia can so christen the soul. Er, I mean I guess there are times when the heart just loves to remember the days gone by in some fond way.

Which is wonderful as long as the brain isn't on vacation. Otherwise you end up sort of being clogged in the head in terms of reality.

When this happens you get a serious case of the stupids? It does happen you know. People can suddenly remember the past in the most bizarre and strangest ways.

That can be such a major pain in the butt if you have to listen to it. Honestly, you sit there and some moron is droning on and on like yesterday was something incredible.

Then you sit and you look at them with that, "excuse me, what planet do you come from?" Seems like a fair question to me given some of the weird crap people believe at times.

In any case, you can't alter some people's thinking that is for sure. I'm not sure I would even want to with certain individuals.

Because if they started thinking sane it would mean I would have to hang out with them more and that would really be scary. There is just only so much of certain people you can stand.

So this is one of those mixed blessings kind of things. On the one hand I hate listening to such dribble that isn't even close to true.

However, I would still rather put up with that than messing with hanging out with Mr. Personality any other time. That could even be worse.

This all translates into a whole lot of whatever. Yep, learning to listen and simply not care.

That is the key. It doesn't what lunacy a person is sharing with some demented view of reality, you just nod and don't say a word.

Which is my best advice. Okay so they claim life used to be better. Fine with me. And when they claim it was perfect, that's okay too.

Even when they want to say that they were happy I'll accept that. I know it will be total crap, but I'll smile when they say it.

Later, after a few drinks naturally, I'm able to forget the conversation. That is the best thing about the past, when you don't have to even remember it at all.

My rule you understand. You can invent your own like everyone else does.

SOMETHING

When life gets dull and boring the concept of something can be a whole lot different than when it is full of things to do. So the something we crave when we have nothing to do is always going to be a much more demanding one than when we are watching the clock and pressed for time.

Now from my point of view I think this is very critical in part because of the fact that when you understand this you can use it to your advantage. Mainly it applies for me as a politician to the times of dealing individuals at varying levels of distraction.

Which is why I prefer to plan my speeches for the middle of the week instead of say a weekend. See around Wednesday in my city, where bored is a natural state of being, life really gets dull.

So I truly find that giving a speech at that time just honestly makes things easier since I don't have to work as hard at making it interesting. People who are bored will grab at anything for a chance to get a break from being bored.

Thus the something I have to create is not that big of a problem. I can even use some old and worn out joke and they will laugh just for something to do.

Now the best part is when I get to unveil some grand plan. Oh yeah, that is the element I enjoy the most.

Because most of the audience is bored to death and only heat sound without paying attention to the contents. Which definitely works to my favor since I don't have to worry about saying something true.

The best part of that is sharing the joy of some comment that I can alter in a way so I can later claim I made a promise I didn't actually make. That way I can give the impression I care and did something important when I didn't do anything for anyone.

But I get to claim I did help others. And the beauty is that no one will even be able to remember what I say so they won't be able to complain.

That makes it even more special. Which is the best something you can imagine. For it is a something that cost me anything.

Okay, perhaps it does cost me the occasional sleepless night. Yeah, I have to tolerate the times when the old conscience bothers me.

But with a little effort and enough distraction you can get over that problem. Which really is the thing I consider the best form of something.

One I can't always talk about, but truly savor when I have way too much time on my hands and not enough other some things to make my day.

NOTHING

Now this ought to be the easiest posting to write. All I have to put is nothing. Okay, true that would be too obvious. Clever perhaps, but lazy.

Not that I have anything against lazy. Some of my favorite memories are of time when I had the rare opportunity to celebrate the sloth within. Sounds good doesn't it? A nice poetic version of just plain being lazy and I love it.

Which is what bothers me at times. How come doing nothing is always viewed as a bad thing?

I mean you can be busy and get nothing accomplish and people will think you are trying. In reality you may just be conning them. However, if they think you are trying, whoa, they will applaud the effort.

I don't know, I'm just inclined to view this as a game. One where people do so much to avoid that simple quality of resting.

Now come on and admit it. Resting is being lazy. Only we say it is okay, because resting is assumed to be a form of recharging so you can later work your ass off.

Only in reality it is just being lazy. We just don't treat it as the same. Nobody is ever accused of being resting. Being lazy, yeah, but never being resting.

Oh we couldn't do that. Because if we did we would have to find a reason for none of us to ever rest either and who needs that?

As for myself, well, call me old fashion, but I'm comfortable with the whole resting scenario. Only I don't care if it ends up being called being lazy.

Because the first rule in truly being gifted in the lazy department is learning not to care what some jerk thinks anyway. Saves on all the headaches later.

There are creative ways too that one can avoid looking lazy while actually being that way. One is to be involved with meetings.

Committees are the most wonderful form of laziness there is. The big key is to be the leader.

That way you can give all the work to everyone else without doing any yourself. Which amounts to the best form of laziness.

And if by chance the committee actually accomplishes anything by accident you can take all the credit. Which is even a greater plus.

Well that is my version of laziness. I hope it comes in handy.

ANYTHING

This is a wonderful concept. The idea is so encompassing of life, of hope and joy. But naturally, we don't necessarily get all those things.

Still it is a truly fabulous thought. The very notion you could literally have anything you want would be fantastic.

I mean anything as in anything, no holes barred, no rules and no restraints. Now when one defines it that way it is a whole different realm of possibilities.

Let's face it, anything to one person is a total nightmare to another. I don't even like to speculate what that would mean with some individuals.

So perhaps there are times when it is a good thing we can't have anything we want. Plus if we did get anything then we probably would get spoiled in our expectations.

That doesn't mean I can wish. And you can certainly believe I do a lot of that. Constantly.

However, I do enjoy the process of imagining. After all, when we drool over the idea of heaven, it does open our minds to thinking beyond our lives.

Maybe some think this is silly and pointless. But not me. True I'm a realists in that regard, but I still enjoy it just the same.

And who knows? If one thinks in terms of anything, we might keep our eyes open to the something that can actually happen.

Which can make it all worthwhile. Plus if you get to hang around people who also think that way, then it is a good thing.

Then perhaps you can see the possible something far more clearly. And that dear friends is the absolute best part.

Yep, I truly savor those precious moments when I sit down with some other person and we kick back a few gallons of brew and imagine all the things we would do. Then about half way through the brew it really seems to make sense.

Which is the most precious of times. For a while anything does actually seem possible. And that I savor.

Course then comes the day after and the hangover. But it passes. Then life has to wait for the next opportunity to smile.

It can be hard to find them as often as you want. But anything is possible if you work it right. And I work it right lots of times.

DECIDING WHO LIVES

I don't have to do this in a literal sense. Oh don't think the idea hasn't appealed to me at times. Yeah, there are a few people I wouldn't mind writing obituaries for at times.

But that isn't an option. And even though as a Mayor I've tried to give thought to come creative legislation that might make this a reality, but so far none of it gets the nod from our city attorney.

So I just have to be content with the other ways I get to decide who lives. Which happens to be several with me being Mayor.

For what gives people a reason to live can be very diversified. It is amazing how you can eliminate one thing from some people's lives and they will practically die.

Of course the most obvious area that applies is with money. For example if a person has some service contract with the city.

All you have to do is let them have a bigger contract and wait till they get used to the extra income. Then you come up with a reason to cancel it.

Oh the joy the causes. I love it when I can call them up and tell them their contract is cancelled.

I can almost hear their hearts pounding in the process. And often they add those precious sound effect in between stumbling over their words. I love it!

But that is only one option available to me. Another is such things as enforcement of city regulations.

Oh man is that a dream come true. Yeah, if you can't ruin their heart beat by taking away some income, making it harder to make a living works great.

And it is amazing how many options you can come up with too. I just so savor the times when some inspector is able to go in who is in a really bad mood.

They can always find something wrong. And if I do happen to inspire them they will find all kinds of things wrong to the point of losing their license or suspending it.

Alas, I just can't do that in every case. Wish I could. But then there is that fabulous ploy where I get to having the zoning laws changed.

Now that is real magic. Changing the zoning laws is truly so inspired. Oh it never remains changed. Just long enough to give the person headaches. And dear friends is enough to give me extra smiles.

It is the little things one savors the most. And in my situation I love the way it turns some lives to crap.

FUN ON THE RUN

This can be a good thing. Providing you are running from being in a hurry. If you are running because you are being chased, well that might not be fun.

However, assuming you are simply rushing like too many of us, then it can be very challenging to find that time just for you. Those moments you can still have a reason to smile regardless of the pace you have to live.

I find the pressure from stress a wonderful form of inspiration in terms of clinging to some fleeting chance to have pleasure. It is harder to accomplish when in the middle of some issue regarding things like being stuck in freeway traffic. That can really put a damper on the capacity to smile.

Which is one of the nice things about cell phones. True, it can be difficult to balance the capacity for talking and also driving. I mean we all get pissed when some driver weaves all over the road while talking on a cell phone.

But with the right amount of effort you just never know, it can be done. Which enables one to enjoy the fruit of allowing the mind to wander to great ways to keep one entertained in the process.

Now one of the things I am careful about doing it is not using my cell phone for this process. Too many people have caller ID.

You can't make a decent prank call to someone using your own cell phone. Just ruins the effect if they know it is you.

So you need a second phone or a borrowed one. Course it is fun if you happen to call somebody who knows that number too. That way they will get pissed at the other person. Sort of a double prank if you will.

Works for me. But then a whole lot of things work for me when I'm on the road. Which is preferable to dealing with some people, my employees, my family or creditors.

There are other ways to have fun on the run too. Like having say a car you borrowed and then cutting other people off to get them pissed.

Only you have to be careful to be sure you don't let the person know you borrowed their car. That can be so tricky.

I know it all seems like silliness. But hey, isn't life silly too? I do admit it. There is just no substitute for smiles at times.

And the more your life sucks, the more you need those darn smiles. Only the harder at times it is to be creative in terms of finding them. But that just make finding them all the more fun.

MORE OR LESS

And age old debate by stupid people in my opinion. I mean what is all this silliness about how there are times when less is more? Who came up with that dumb rule?

I call it dumb, because from my view anyone who says less is better normally is trying to convince themselves as far as I'm concerned. From my view I can't think of much where more is not better than less.

Come on think of times where you really say, give me less of something? Well okay, taxes might work. We could definitely be happy with less taxes.

However, for anything you like I would definitely say more is the optimum word over the word less. For from my point of view this really is only an issue when talking about pleasure.

So let us get down to the core issue with this one. Basically, when it comes to smiles, more is the only word that works. Oh, true, less is important if you are figuring some type of artificial form of smile that could render you brain dead.

Those are times when more can put you in the hospital or worse. That doesn't keep people from grabbing for it just the same. Oh yeah they definitely do that. Which is a different form of stupid.

I mean more only works if you actually have a chance to savor the more. If it is one that ends up making you dead, it sort of defeats the benefit.

So speaking from the perspective of a person who thinks more is good as long as you end up getting more, I vote for being practical. Yep, that is really the most important thing.

You just have to be prepared to not go dumb in terms of being smart. It really is the key. All you have to do is be sure that you tell others that fact in a way that they will believe.

It is amazing how many people try thinking by nodding their heads. Oh yeah, that is totally less than sane.

But they do it anyway. And after a while you just get used to the idea of knowing that people will end up thinking with other than their brains when it comes to pleasure.

Sometimes you are lucky. You actually find a person who doesn't end up with some mortally wounded case of being a moron who is actually willing to listen.

And if you are lucky they manage to learn their lesson soon enough that you can guide them to a better and saner place of thought. But if that doesn't work, you can always point them in the direction where you can depend upon them to end up as a lamb being lead to the slaughter. Hey, if you can't help them out you might as well savor the pure joy of at least letting them suffer so you can get more.

DOGS AND CATS

Well there are all kind of possible meanings of this naturally. But for this posting I'm going to deal with the issue of contrasts in human nature as they appeal to when people act like pets. Those being to me dogs and cats.

I realize there are other forms of animals people have as pets, but the most of us, if we have a pet at all it generally ends up as a Fluffy or Fido. My opinion you understand.

Which from my point of view since this is my blog is the one I'm going to express. And that works for me very well. I'm quite happy with that option. Like I really give a crap if you like it or not. Ahem, but I digress or whatever in the heck you want to call it.

Now the think is to me, I see people as often being in their behavior as something that reminds me of cats and dogs. There are so many who as employees are either your faithful lap dog types or temperamental like some darn Siamese cat. Again, my impression.

When I say that I mean they are either very obedient and always behave in a way that you want to scratch them behind the ears, or they act totally finicky so you want to feed them to a dog as punishment. Unfortunately, that is never an option.

Not with the people who need some kind of a leash in my opinion. Thank goodness they aren't the only ones I see every day.

We do have enough normal employees so I don't have to worry about this all the time. For that I'm grateful.

But for the ones who do need that kind of special handling the nice thing is I can have my assistant take them for a walk. He's even learned to get by without getting dog bit at times.

As for the catty people, well he manages to avoid their claws. Most of the time. It is good exercise for him I guess.

I'm just glad that we have enough times when so many are content to be stroked. Or you toss them a bone and they gnaw on it and leave you alone.

And once and a while I have to lay in a healthy supply of pet food. In this case, it is all bull.

Funny how it works so well for both dogs and cats. But then that is the joy of always adjusting to each circumstance when it comes to coping with such silly people.

I do have fantasies about having an animal pound in the basement. One where nobody would claim the pets. Gets very dark after that. But it does give a smile to my face when some one is nipping at my heals with their silly complaints.

BELIEVE IT

Oh yeah, if your Uncle Rash tells you then you know it is true. Yes you can as they say, take it to the bank, sleep happy and secure and know all is well.

Okay, doesn't that make you feel better? Can't you just do the happy dance in the process? Come on move those tootsie. I know you want too.

Yeah, I know it is silly. But isn't life silly in general? Well I think it is and those who act like it is otherwise have a very serious problem in my point of view.

As a mayor I have to associate with all kinds of groups. It doesn't matter if I like them, I have to tolerate them for the sake of my office. And the votes of course.

So it means you know that I have to spend time with people who tell lies in order to make it seem like their little world and their little qualities are somehow godlike. I do my best to smile and listen, but frankly it is most of the time a load of crock.

But what am I suppose to do? Honestly these people are so pathetic. They revel in some small contrived award that really means nothing in reality. It just for show.

I wouldn't even mind that fact if they did it for fun, but they make it sound like it is the Congressional Medal of Honor. Yeah, they are that ridiculous about it.

However, you can forget them stopping no matter how stupid they are about such things. It gives them some stupid pleasure to make up such crap.

What really cracks me up even more is how they will in turn rag on some other group for doing the same thing. Like this is a good thing? Makes them feel better I guess.

So I suppose that I can cope with them boring me with showing off some autographed picture from celebrity that they managed to get somewhere and tell me they have met the person. Which gets really silly when it is a photo of somebody they claim to have met last year and who died years ago. Yeah, stupid isn't it?

You try listening to that crap with a straight face? Go ahead I dare you. I do manage. It is hard too. Darn hard believe me.

So the next time you think your life sucks, just do me a favor and try to picture yourself being me. I'm talking about sitting in some room full of thrift shop furniture somebody claims are antiques and who sits in a worn out suit with this hat made from a stuffed skunk and tries to tell you it is a prize.

See that ought to make you smile. Hope so. One of us should enjoy the moment. As for me, well as long as there is enough booze I always get by. At least my bartender enjoys the business. And with the number of these stupid groups around, trust me he is really getting rich.

SOME TIME

This is such a joy when it happens. It is a special joy in my opinion. One that you have to embrace with such happiness if you get a chance to savor the moment of hope you never thought would occur.

Now the difficulty with some time is in the vagueness. By the very nature of its name you have no idea when this will happen. Just that when it does you will be so darn happy.

At least that is the prevailing theory behind the lure of someday. And that for me is what I enjoy about the whole process. From my point of view of course.

It is just a joy to sit and think it terms of some time and look forward to savoring the times when things just could be as I want. Now that can be so tough for guy like me at times. For my idea of how things could be definitely never meshes with what others might call as good.

So far at least it has seemed to work out that way. Oh I wish it did, but it never does. Thank goodness I never volunteer my opinion on that subject either.

The one thing you do not want to do is end up spilling your guts on something as intimate as your idea of some time with certain people. They just never will understand or attempt to in some way appreciate your particular tastes.

Fact of life I'm afraid. It is just smarter to listen and let them tell you their idea of what is some time.

That way you don't have to worry about getting embarrass if you happen to have a some time that is perhaps on the gray side of the law. People can be so funny about that at times, especially if they work in law enforcement.

Which is why I naturally prefer to just listen and not tell all. It is so nice the number of times that has saved me headaches later.

Alone of course or with my best buddy, some time can be my some time. Which is so much nicer than when you have to listen to some people's idea of some time.

To be honest, some people aren't dreamers. They just aren't even close to thinking in terms of a some time that will remotely please.

Well not by my standards you understand. For me some time ought to be for things you can't expect otherwise. There are a whole lot of then.

You could spend a lot of time with some time in that regard. I'm just voting for a few that I can plot to make happen some time. That works for me.

But then when I get to massage the facts most things work for me.

FUN

I wish all that gave pleasure had the same meaning, but it never does. What is fun to one person can put someone else totally asleep.

Wherein lies the problem for me as a Mayor. Honestly, when I have to plan so civic event you have to be so careful to keep the entertainment as generic and general as possible. Doing anything different and the slightest bit unique can result in complaints.

It is just so easy to offend. You might now want to, but let me tell you it sure is easy to accomplish.

And when you are talking a public event oh man is that a pain and potential disaster. What makes it even more of a problem is how often it ends up with something being protested.

Never by the happy people you understand. They are just kind of mellow and totally cool about most things.

It is always the ones who don't like anything anyway that cause the problem. Kind of like if they can't have any fun then nobody should be allowed to enjoy themselves.

Naturally, the group you can piss off the easiest are those with religious priorities. In my city the major ones for that kind of approach belong to one Reverend Analbe and his Moral Priority.

Yep, if there is any kind of party you can be sure he will be around to tell the party goes how they are risking eternal damnation for that smile. And you can be sure that if he even suspects they are having a good time, whoa, now that is a condition worthy of being totally condemned forever and forever.

The only way around that problem with him is to be sure he gets to bless the snacks. And you just pretend to not hear when it sounds during the prayer like he has his mouthful. Nor should you in any way make comment about the missing food when you open your eyes.

If you do that then everything will be approved by the Reverend. Providing you don't act like you are happy. You can smile, but don't make it look obvious.

Follow that rule and you be allow into heaven. Well at least with the Reverend's approval. Can say if God will agree.

In any event if you set aside the Reverend or at least make sure he doesn't know about you party you can actually have fun. He does have spies though. So it is best to be careful.

It is all a big pain just for having some fun. But in dullsville it is necessary.

RUB ON SOME

Oh yeah, there are some times you just have to spread the joy. Rubbing a little lotion of smiles like it was really helpful.

Now the big problem though is how do you do this when you are ought of smiles and lotion. Actually, the lotion isn't so hard to come by. Just takes a little effort to work up the right kind of lather. Er, you can work on that part.

Anyway, the smile lotion can be found in a variety of places. But getting it to work so you can apply it to somebody else can be so challenging.

The first part naturally is to get it to work on yourself. That can be so challenging. Because what works for you, might not work for somebody else.

But the problem is if you can't get it to work on you how do you get it to work on somebody else? Ah that is the eternal question. Well perhaps not the eternal question. It is more like will I get lucky tonight. Ahem.

Anyway, my recommendation is you concentrate on finding that type of lotion that will make you smile. Then you can clear you head and perhaps a whole lot of other parts of your body before being able to see well enough to find lotion for everyone else.

Now doesn't that make sense to you? It sure does to me. Which is why before I attempt to venture out into the cold world and spread a little sunshine, I make sure I get a nice tan.

True, it is more challenging when you do it in some motel room. But hey I do leave the lights on. So that ought to count for something.

Not sure what, but it sure works for me. And you never know how that little smile just will end up on my face long enough to inspire me to find the right kind of lotion for somebody else.

I do have to adjust my expectations you understand. You just can't achieve such moving changes at times unless you are prepared to make sacrifices.

And let's face it there are times when I really have to work so hard to be sure I have done enough homework on this subject so I'm truly prepared to help my fellow man. Shoot sometimes it takes all week in a motel every single night before that smile lasts longer than breakfast the next morning.

I just wish my sacrifices were such that somebody else appreciate the effort. But regrettably I have to settle for allowing my efforts to remain unknown by most people.

And that especially includes the lady's who help me with this project. You always have to be sure you don't use your real name to insure you don't get the wrong kind of attention.

CHEESECAKE SALVATION

Let me tell you, I'm not one to necessary say that stuffing your face it the perfect solution to life's problems. However, there are times when there just is that precious time when you need some special outlet that isn't boring or ordinary.

Which naturally is something totally known by those who run restaurants. There is no way they don't know the power of food. And we aren't talking vegetables here either.

Nope, we were talking about stuff that tastes great and is bad for you according to the health advocates. But the one thing we never think about is their advice when cravings for something gooey possess the soul.

Of that you can be totally sure. When I look at that dessert menu all I'm thinking is yum. I'm not counting calories, I'm not worried about the ingredients, I'm just wanting to be saved from my misery for a few mouthfuls.

Now some might call that pathetic. These are the people who probably eat only foods that are good for them and are miserable way to often and not even sure why.

Oh they can claim they enjoy eating bean sprouts and exercising. Be all means keep claiming that.

As for the rest of us, it is pass the napkin because I'm going for the sugar rush! Just trying to lend a little honesty to this subject.

What really bugs me is the compromise artists. Those are the people that try and justify their splurges as other than a splurge.

They are the one's that try to get you to believe they never eat sweets as a rule. You don't get to check their refrigerators naturally. Or their pantries. Like they want that kind of embarrassment.

Instead, they order a piece of something truly tasty like cheesecake and then eat about half of it to show they have self-control. The whole time they ramble constantly while eyeing the half eaten piece of dessert.

Oh they never do actually finish it. What they do is when they think you aren't looking they order a whole cheesecake to go from the waitress.

Then when you leave they make some excuse to go back inside. The whole time hoping you'll leave and not notice the bag they bring out.

I try to cut them some slack on that one if I can. Sometimes that can get tough though. But normally, I can be bribed.

Oh you can be sure the bribe is more than a piece of cheesecake. Hopefully it comes from a nice lady. After all dessert definitely comes in a whole of different forms.

YOU'RE PLACE OR A FINE

There are times when the old question, your place or mine is not a good choice. I recommend one be extra careful when probing that kind of question when you have imbibed too much booze.

After all with too much alcohol the vision can get really distorted. You could go home with some gal you think is a model and find out the next morning she was a bag lady.

Hey, it can happens. Man was that the worst morning of my life when I looked over and — er, guess no sense going there is it?

That is the part of the fine I was talking about. It is the price tag you pay for such stupid choices.

And that is definitely not a good thing. Unless you happen to have a thing for bag ladies. Which is not my preference.

So I prefer to hope that there is a method more practical to deal with such situations. I am working as best I can to develop a realistic means of avoiding such disasters.

Now the tough part is figuring out the safe alcohol level in order to be sure you still can think things through clearly. It can be difficult to actually determine that point.

Perhaps the hardest aspect is you can't do this very well by experimentation. That is because the problem comes that the more you drink the less can function.

So depending on your senses can be difficult. And depending on somebody else is hard to.

For if they aren't drinking like you are, they most likely will get bored. Then they won't bother to stick around.

And if they are drunk, how the heck are they going to be able to know when you have enough. Plus if you are depending on them to steer you away from some bad lady, forget it. They seldom help in that regard.

About the only solution that I figure works in that regard is a rent a date. You just be sure you pick out your night cushion before you start drinking.

The only drawback is of course you do have to be sure the woman gets drunk too. Otherwise you could end up with her taking your wallet and a whole lot more without bothering to give you what you paid for.

Just passing that on as a helpful hint. You just never know when you might have to be careful in that regard. But if you need any other pointers, I'll see what I can do. Might require more research, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice.

GIVE, BUT TAKE

There is the old adage about give and take. Meaning you cold have something go both ways in terms of possibilities.

But my slant as to do with something different. Basically it is to relate to the idea of how there really is seldom much giving with some taking also occurring.

I don't mean to be skeptical with regards to things like charity, but honestly from my point of view you just have to expect people who do something to figure they will get something in return. Giving is a wonderful concept, but seldom takes place in my opinion without a certain aspiration for some reward.

Okay, call that the pessimists viewpoint. I just regard it as being practical. Which is a good thing.

Only you'll probably not get a whole lot of people to agree with that one. Most are going to defend human nature. True there are a lot of jerks in the world.

But surely there have to be a few who aren't selfish jerks. Fine, I say. All I want you to do is find them for me. No big deal.

Just take me over and put them on display so I can feel like they are some kind of angel. Now don't get me wrong, I do feel we are all different.

So that means there are some who are better than others. But perfect? I don't think so. Which happens to be my particular version of equality.

A simple view that presumes we are all equal in terms of greed. We just express it differently.

Hey, is that a big problem really? Wouldn't life be easier if we just accepted that fact? I think so.

However, I guess that isn't going to happen in reality. We got too many dreams that still think dreams are more true that truth.

I wouldn't mind giving them a ticket to happy land. They can stay there for free and have long conversations about backgammon with their socks.

As for me, well I prefer to keep myself practical. That means essentially, I don't like living fairy tales.

Unless they are adult in nature. Which mainly happens on the internet. Now that is what I call giving we can all enjoy.

Works for me. Most things do when I don't have to be honest about them.

NOT TO MENTION

When you say this aren't you sort of defeating the point of having a need to say it? If it is not to mention, they why mention it?

But that is always how it works out. Instead of saying not to mention, perhaps it ought to be something like, we can't forget. Makes more sense to me.

However, I rather doubt it will matter that much anyway. Just like so many things, it will be a case of nobody gives a crap if what they say sounds stupid.

That is the problem with the sayings. We just take them off the cliché shelf, insert into the mouth and hope for the best.

And since so many of us do it, nobody complains that much. Unless it is some stand up comic who works it into his dialogue. Then we can all feel free to laugh at being stupid and silly.

Which is really the main reality here we are all rather dumb on this at times. Only we don't bother to care.

Instead we just take turns being prone to ramble without our minds in gear. There is no driver's license required for that.

And even if there was, I imagine most people wouldn't care. They would just sit back and keep belting out the dribble.

So that means we get stuck with this nonsense. Which never gets more than a passing notice unless it is in this situation where somebody like me decides it makes for good comment.

But we move on don't we? Well sort of. More like we stumble and then go crazy, hitting our selves in the head for the annoying aspect.

Still it does give us precious moments when there will be a reason to smile. Others that produce a groan.

All of which result in us returning to our little bag of worn out sayings. We hold onto them like a pair of shoes we should have gotten rid of years ago.

Yeah, those kind. Tell me you have never done that? I don't think any of us enjoys that option, but we do it anyway.

Meanwhile life plods along at a yawn. We smile out of habit and then bend over and smile to some degree.

It all makes for some fun. The question of what type is up to us.

LIPS WITHOUT BRAINS

It is a shame that we have two lips and only one brain. Even more a tragedy is that the lips are able to actually say what we are thinking.

Not that such problems are always bad. It is just that at times the brain is sort of on vacation when we engage our mouth.

Oh we might work harder at avoiding that problem if we really worried about that issue. The fact that we don't to mean is the result of us simply not caring. Yep, it sounds good to say we do, but honestly we don't. At least I think if we were honest we would admit it.

That isn't very likely though. It would probably be stupid if we did too. Unless everyone agreed to do the same, which isn't very likely.

However, that doesn't mean I don't wish for otherwise. It might really be nice if we found a way to lock up people's mouths when their brains weren't working.

Course I suppose then we would have to deal with a biggest issue. Mainly of the people who never use their heads when they talk. I'm talking about ever.

In their case the big problem would be that you couldn't leave the lock on their mouths forever. Otherwise they might starve to death. Might be a merciful ending to the problem, but I doubt you would get the courts to agree. Capital punishment is debated as it is, I would hate to think how the lawyers would deal with this kind of option.

And then there would be the lawmakers. I have to be careful on that one since I'm included with the bunch.

But I can imagine it would be very difficult to get them to agree on the exact nature of such a bill. I think I would opt for calling it the "Lip Me Stupid" bill.

I wouldn't have a problem doing that. Of course I wouldn't accept credit for that idea. I don't think I would care to listen to the complaints.

Hmmm. Perhaps we could work on that through some means such as making it a criminal offense to complain about the bill.

I'm sure we could include it in the bill somewhere. And by the time it got to be a law, it would be too late for anyone to change it.

That is the one thing I have come to appreciate. Law makers solution to a bad law is to make more laws.

It doesn't mean it works, but they feel better doing it that way. Meanwhile, I find it so much fun to dream. And the one thing I enjoy imagining all those fun people who talk stupid having pad locks on their mouths.

THE PERILS OF PLOTS

Getting busted can be such pain. And if you are guilty, doubly so. Which is why I'm always so particular about making sure that I have a patsy to take the fall if something goes wrong.

That can be tricky though. I mean you have to be sure the patsy doesn't know he or she is a patsy. You have to actually sit down and pretend to like the person too. That can really be the hard part. I mean some patsy are not that likeable. Which is why they are patsies.

Once you get passed that part then it is just a matter of lying convincingly till you get them framed for your greed. That's why I try not to get to know such helpers to well. No sense of feeling guilty over having sold them down the river.

You just have to be able to maintain that right balance of showing interest without really caring. That can be a real challenge to be sure.

I do manage though. I am proud of that fact. And at times when things can't be dealt with adequately by the patsy safeguard then it is time for let's make a deal.

That is where I dig out my bribe card and pick the people I need to bribe to be sure there isn't any trouble. This is primarily a major back up plan.

Something I definitely do whenever I worry about the patsy screwing up before I need them to actually screw up. There are occasions where I misjudge somebody.

It can be tough when working with morons to always gauge how stupid they really are. There are times when it is, jeez, this guy is impossible.

I mean even with stupidity you expect a certain standard of dumbness. Not you know like blithering idiot level, but somebody who can walk and talk at the same time.

There are times regrettably when you get that first impression and decide a given patsy falls in one category and then they shock you. I mean big time.

Normally the shock is that they end up being dumber than your first assume. Rarely does it work the other way that they turn out to be smarter.

I wish that was the case to be honest. But then that would create its own problems. Because if they were smarter they would end up possibly figuring out your plans. And then you could have to worry about them demanding some kickback in order to not turn you in.

Alas the perils of planning such joyful enterprises. It can always be such a surprise. Such a wonderful adventure into the ways of hope I didn't forget something that will make up leaving me feeling like crap. Nobody who works to lie, cheat and steal like I do really doesn't need any help feeling that way.

IN A HEARTBEAT

Oh yeah, this can be a big problem in life. Honestly how come some change has to be that way? I think it all should require advanced notice.

That would truly be a blessing no doubt. I just wish there was a way to legislate this in some way.

But who would you arrest for accidents? Well we are talking about the government after all. Who really needs a law broken to arrest somebody?

Never felt that kept the government from doing what comes naturally. Just seems a very simply procedure. They get pissed off and wham you butt goes off to the jail.

Oh they will find some excuse to claim you did something wrong. It just wouldn't be the government if they didn't.

And enough about reminiscing over such wonderful thoughts. I guess it is more important to focus on the essential fact that sometimes in life no matter how your prepare, you end up screwed.

I know that is such a touching sentiment. Makes me darn proud to be so encouraging. Too bad they don't teach that more in schools.

I think it would be good if they offered it as a class. Yeah, blink and your screwed. Seems like a good class.

I would even be willing to teach it. Give people homework assignments in a language they couldn't understand. Then flunk them when they didn't turn it in or even if they did.

Seems like it would teach perfectly the message I needed to convey. Well, I might consider bribes.

No reason you can't get people to understand this idea that there are times when that is considered a good insurance. As we all know, everyone needs insurance too.

I just prefer to be sure people appreciate the value of more unorthodox forms of insurance. The kind that allow you to blink, face disaster and still smile.

After all, survival is very important in life. If you can help people to survive you have definitely accomplished something very important from my point of view.

Not that everyone would necessarily agree. But then a lot of people have had at times been forced to cope with such issues of misunderstandings.

Which I naturally have worked so hard to try and avoid. Sometimes I even manage it without the person filing a complaint too.

BE FAIR, UNLESS

People love the concept of fairness. I personally don't find it that often, but it sounds wonderful in theory.

From my view something can only be fair if it means the person handling it is capable of having nor prejudices. Never met a person yet that didn't like some things and hate others. Just part of human nature.

We simply are born loving certain things and hating others. And if somebody happens to end up with a specific dislike that makes them blind in terms of a given fairness, hey it happens.

But for some absurd reason we think, like with fantasies such as utopia ideas, that there is a chance we can actually find fairness. I lump it in the same box with things like finding the fountain of youth.

Oh it would be wonderful if you could, but we know you will never find it. For me that is how I treat the idea of fairness.

Don't get me wrong, fairness is a wonderful theory. It would mean naturally from my view that everyone should have a chance to get what they want in a given situation.

I'm sure people will take issue with that position, but in reality, no matter what you are talking about, if you end up with the short end of the stick, fair is not the way you feel about it. Instead you are left when you lose out pretending to be a good sport and be happy for the person who did win.

Only deep down, your pissed. And even if you don't say it, you never end up being happy with the results.

Personally, if it were up to me, I would be glad to take care of this issue. Let's do away with things like rights, freedoms, even laws. Yeah, you read that right.

Then we just have a lottery and draw a certain number of winners. Those people get to do almost anything they want for a day or maybe a week.

Okay, that is just a work in process. I admit that. But I definitely think it has potential if we have the resolve to deal with it.

That is the problem with being a visionary. Not everyone accepts or can see the vision. They just prefer to go what or huh when you show them a beautiful sunrise.

To me such people are lacking a brain or a soul or both. Course, I got rid of my soul long ago. Well I sort of pawn it. Just in case I need it later.

For now, I prefer to not let it interfere with my efforts to enjoy my version of fairness. Which is where I do things that are fair to me.

DISAGREE, BUT WITH A GOOD LIE

There is a saying about how everyone is entitled to their opinion. Having the right to something and actually being responsible with it are not the same thing.

Which is the problem with opinions. Some people can have the most absurd opinions imaginable. We're talking about individuals who would be willing to fight to the death in order to believe the sky is really pink in the middle of the night.

Yeah, I'm speaking of people who truly are beyond any form of help. There is nothing unusual about it. Just a problem of when they happen to be in a position to in any way influence others. Like if they hold a position of importance and power. That can be really scary.

That is because such people always end up having stupid, even demented views of life and expect you to think it is okay. Which it never is naturally. Only they won't accept it.

Instead, they absolute expect you to agree with them. And brother, if you dare not to then in their position of power they will definitely not make your day.

So your only viable option is to pretend that you agree. To do that you naturally have lie. Plain and simple really. They don't want to hear the truth and certainly would prefer that you agree with them no matter how bizarre they view life.

The main down side to all of this is that it has to be a good one. I mean that is the really hard part.

For the big problem is that these people, though demented, have the ability to know crap when they hear it. Never quite figured out that part.

I mean they can utterly believe the most insane crap, but can also know when you are telling something equally full of crap. All of which comes down to being darn sure your litany of lies is current and appropriate for the applicable situation.

This pretty much requires one to lie regularly. In order to keep up on all the types of lies that work and those that don't. A crazy person will know right off if you are an amateur if you haven't practiced enough.

So I recommend a person make a habit of working out and testing all such nice concepts of fabrication before hand. Start out with people who flat don't even give a flip if you tell the truth anyway.

I suggest you start out with say people who work in customer service for whoever. They generally are very good at not caring. So you can get into the groove of making up crap and know they will not care.

Then with enough practice you can get really good to take on the loons. It might even save you from some grief some time. I speak from first hand knowledge on that one.

AGREED

Man, can this be such a joke. You see there is a big difference between I agree and I'll do it. Oh the difference can truly end in disaster too if you are not careful.

It doesn't mean is has to. Just that there are times when all of us end up being inspired by some moment of inspiration that gets us motivated to say one thing and do another.

I think this mainly happens with situations that involve people volunteering to do something. And even more often when you are talking something like politics.

Oh with charity events it is different. A person can make a show of being involved and then that would end up with giving them a chance to boast. So showing up for the event is good press. You have a motivation to actually do what you promise.

Whereas, with things like politics, especially if you are helping some body who you figure out isn't going to get elected, then you are more likely to claim you will help and then not actually do anything. Just makes good sense.

Now for myself, I've learned the harsh reality that people just are less than inclined to worry about what you think of them if you aren't in a position to reward them later. Oh yeah, that can be such a pain.

So naturally the best way to cope is you have to make sure you lie to them in such a way that they feel inspired to keep trying. You know, appeal to their greed.

That is always the best option. You sit back, sucker them into thinking you are truly going to take care of them no matter what.

The big deal here is to make sure you haven't lied to the person before. That can be a real disaster.

Because if your brain goes on vacation you can end up in big trouble. Normally, the person isn't just going to even tell you.

What they will do is tell the rest of the world. Then you can really end up in big trouble. Because that person will tell others.

Pretty soon before you know it their can be a whole bunch of people who won't trust you. And that never ends up a good thing.

So the rule is, make sure you don't mess up. Always lie with a perfect smile. And if worse comes to worse, don't forget to be sure you have someone to blame if they do find you lied.

Then it can be your turn to say I agree when you actually don't. Doing it in a nice way will always save being stabbed in the back.

GEEKS AND FROWNS

Not sure if their is a consummate definition of a geek. I have my own interpretation you understand.

And for the purposes of this posting I will make the effort to give such a definition. For me there is a subtle difference between a geek and a nerd.

A nerd is somebody who finds fun in crap that is dull and boring. They can just be content enjoy doing things like the laundry. Yeah, it needs to be done, but who drools over it?

But that is how I few a nerd. Basically people with a low threshold for pleasure that are content thinking dull is cool.

As for a geek. Well too me that is someone that loves having a good time, but in a really weird way.

We're talking about people that would regard collecting flies to be a good hobby. I suppose that would work for some people.

It just doesn't work for me. I don't find it the least bit entertaining. And frankly I would rather not spend any time hanging with those who do love such obsessions.

Now nerds I will tolerate. Normally because they have their moments of sanity. I can live with hearing them talk about their sock drawer tales of reorganization.

Which is better than hearing some guy who is dressed like he slept in his clothes over night talking about they joys of sewer fishing. I don't even want to hear about what kind of fish they caught.

At least they don't bring in any pictures. That is the big drawback to dealing with the nerds.

For the nerds always have pictures. And sometimes they are out of focus. Which in a way is a good thing. Because it really is no big deal to have see them that way if it happens to be a photo of their gold fish.

Fortunately, nerds do have to spend a far amount of time doing utterly boring things are work. Which is better than the geeks.

With them it is only a good time if they have to tell you about it no matter how gross or disgusting it is. I'm just glad the nerds out weigh the geeks.

Some times it is hard to keep tract for sure. Only from talking to the person will it be possible to find out. That makes me happy when I do figure it out. Then I can stop having to smile and lie to them like everyone else.

TAKE THIS

This is wonderful advice providing the person offering it isn't holding out a glass of something bubbling and has a bottle of poison behind them. That isn't a means to a headache remedy I wish to know about.

Outside of that option, normally I like to thing such help is truly well intentioned. At least most of the time.

One does have t be practical in that regard. Common sense is very useful. For example if you are dealing with some person wearing an overcoat in the middle of the summer and holding onto what looks like a night in his pocket, don't ask. Take this is not a good choice in such situations.

On the other hand if say some young voluptuous lady comes up to me with a take this look, I'll probably be more than happy to take whatever. Unless it turns out to involve ice picks and blindfolds. Then forget it.

Which I suppose is my central point in all of this. Take this is a presumption to some degree. A person deciding what is good for somebody else.

That isn't always a bad thing though. It can be very beneficial if the person truly knows you. But if they don't and think they do then you have a problem.

There is nothing more annoying than having to cope with helpful people who are anything, but helpful. Honestly, it is a real pain in the butt.

And the worse thing is that since they thing they are doing you a favor, they do not in any way think that what they are doing is the least bit wrong. Instead they will get all hurt and upset if you dare to suggest they aren't being helpful.

Oh yeah, you can count on that. You dare to suggest that in some way they might be best off giving some serious thought to the idea that take that only works if you are really giving the other person what they really want to take.

I sort of said that before, but I felt it was worth repeating. After all, if there were more people who didn't want to be less than thoughtful none of this would be necessary.

I just accept that this isn't the option in some cases. The more the person does you a favor, the less they will smile if they decide to be kind to you in a stupid way.

Try explaining to somebody who thinks you are indebted to them for life that they really aren't helping by giving you leftovers of some kind. The nice thing is that if you work it right, you can manage to get them to think you appreciate their help.

Oh it might be tough to be convincing when you are wincing, but with the right of practie and lies it can work.

USELESS

Boy does this have a fun meaning or what? I'm telling you, there is no joy more complete and fulfilling than inspiring such a wonderful sense of void to a person's esteem.

The tricky part you understand is making sure you don't do this in a way that makes the other person know you are doing this on purpose. That carries with it a risk of them getting pissed. As if they will want to rip your heart out for the very thought.

Nope, the only way to have this work is to be sure the person thinks you care about them. A few sincerely lies always helps in that regard.

Oh yeah, you just look them in the eyes and express concern over their sadness. If you work it right, then no problem.

You can just pretend you want to help. Oh in reality you're drooling at the prospect of it ending with the person feeling their guts is being ripped out.

But if you work it right, by the time you finish chatting with the person, then you can smile while the person crawls off in search of a rock under which to hide. Now that's really magic.

Of course it is absolutely essential that a person never know when you hate their guts. If they in any way suspect you are piss or unhappy they will be darn sure they will not respond as desired.

So my approach is to be sure I never let the person know I think they are an enemy. And some people are so stupid they actually think you can stab somebody in the back and they will say thank.

It really is such a joy when I can muster such happiness and thrills while letting my tongue do all the work. Give me such a warm feeling on the inside.

Actually, the most annoying challenge is coping with the person who already feels useless. That just never works as a form of competition. There's no challenge when the person is already bleeding.

And it is even more difficult if you don't hate the person. I mean despite my basic heartless nature, I still don't find much pleasure in giving pain to people who already manage it for themselves.

It just doesn't inspire to try and cut some guy's throat who is too busy using a knife on himself. The big question is whether or not you can manage to decide if you want to leave the person in that state or make them feel better.

God, I hate when I have to be nice and encourage someone. Just doesn't have the same fell of joy as when you are ripping a person's heart out.