NO CAN DO

NO CAN DO

Now I d find this a fun thing to cope with at times. Those are the occasions when you can honestly say with a clear conscience you can't do something.

Personally, I have nothing against lying or depriving people of things when I need to. But there is something less difficult when it is the truth.

That just happens to mean I can look the person in the eye with confidence and not worry they will think I made the thing up. And if I work it right then it is even better.

Because then I can relax a bit since I do build up a certain equity in terms of being thought of as honest. It is a myth, but I do love when I can make it seem to be true.

Course that isn't every day. Which is the drawback. Sometimes I get spoiled by the times it does work out that way.

Then I forget when it isn't true. Which can end up being very embarrassing at times. That is if I forget when it can be discovered.

I have attempted to try and make this easier by not leaving anything to chance. You know even taking time to write things down.

That can be tricky though. Some times it gets hard to remember each situation. And who said what.

And so the quest must continue. We must always cling to the hope that there are enough no can do situations to make up for the lies.

And the most of the time we just focus on the need to clarify. The priority here is the clarity part.

Translations, make sure it makes sense. Yep no matter what happens it better make sense. If it doesn't mean it will always be fun.

That is the part I miss. The part where you get to stress people out because that is okay. I love that part. It nearly brings tears to my eyes.

All that groaning and moaning and you know they are totally screwed and it wasn't even your fault. It is heaven for us poor plotters.

Got to love it. Can't hate it that is for sure. I know I could lie and say I do, but I don't. I just like to pretend I'm sorry too

Which is a lie. But it gives me such a joy. And that makes it all worth while from my point of view.
We do cherish the small things.

SORROWFUL

This is the feeling you get went you get caught. Not from thinking about a given action, only when it leads to regret.

See this is my complaint. For if you don't get caught you really aren't not going to be sorrowful. Conscience on vacation naturally. Probably somewhere truly having fun.

And that is the key from my view. If you only feel bad when you get caught then you are really unhappy when you make certain choices.

So what does that say about you? To me it says you are normal. Another wonderful expression of humanity.

And may I say in such situations, welcome to the human race. You are among many friends.

Now that is not to say everyone will agree. Nope, there are some who will not look at that situation with pride.

They will be more inclined to treat it as something other than a source of pride. Because it would mean that morality was not the king they claim it is .

Isn't that terrible? Not to me. I live quite happily in the land where no tears ever fall because the light of justice never shines. Hmmm, pretty clever huh?

Well it is to me. Maybe not to others, but it works for me. Like so many things. But then what can I say? It is part of the way life works for some of us.

Now if by chance you happen to be in the climate of thinking this is bad, that is okay. I understand.

You can feel free to savor that illusion. I will be more than happy to help you enjoy that fantasy as long as it fits your reality.

If by chance though you weaken for some reason and want to crawl over to the weak kneed side, then the invitation will always be open. It's okay we won't give away your secret either.

Oh I might require a bribe, but that is not too much to ask is it? Seems like a good arrangement to me.

But then I do try to respect such options as always having such a joyful need to give me a special reason to smile. It just doesn't take place when I want it to take place.

So I do have to occasionally invent the need for some form of diversion to make it all seem real. Which is part of the fun.

A GOOD DAY

Well I do have to admit that goodness comes in different forms. And one that I cherish the most is when it is a good day.

Admittedly, I must confess that my idea of a good day might not agree with everyone. There is just something that gives smiles when it involves what I call the little things.

Oh I know there are the big dreams. You know where you win the lottery or get some other windfall that makes it very nice indeed.

But the problem is that those types of good days just don't happen when we like. They only happen when fate strikes.

We're talking about the same fate that loves to play sick jokes. Yeah, like giving you a flat tire when your spare is flat. And you can't fix the tire because it doesn't have enough tread left.

So you end up spending an hour at the tire store where some guy expects you to buy four tires. Yeah, that isn't my idea of a good day.

At least those don't happen every day either. Sadly they do happen far too often. And are more likely than with the times that you win the lottery.

That should not be translated to mean that more bad days happen that good 6nes. Which is not my desire to suggest.

It is just that our thermometer of expectation can be influenced so often by memories of the bad days more than the good days. So our eyes end up focusing in on only thinking in terms of seeing bad.

That is what we need to get set free from. To be able to find the good instead of the bad. It really isn't as rare as we assume.

Just we need to be able to look for it more. And that can be difficult if our minds are focused on expecting storms all the times.

Okay, maybe I'm getting a little preachy I guess. But methinks it needs to be said. Perhaps it won't cure you of seeing darkness all the time, but you might take a few seconds to look for the light along the way.

That is a good day in my mind. See it isn't as hard as we might imagine. You just have to be content to refocus your eyes.

Which is not always as easy as we hope. Only we can at times be sure if we don't let ourselves only see the part of life we think dominates. This is a battle we have to struggle with and hopefully we don't lose the wa

A GOOD TIME

Now a good time is a little different than a good deal. One does not require the aid of another to have a good time. Which is very nice when you have to worry about some other person affecting something being good.

And so I do lean towards the good time option as the one that matters for obvious reasons. Actually, the one thing that can be true is that you can have a good time that is also a good deal. But a good deal might not always lead to a good time.

That is the way it works at times. Not that I necessarily like it. But it isn't always the choice we savor.

Still I do try to be sensitive to how this is viewed in others minds. For me it isn't that difficult.

But again that is me. Good is the optimum word here, but time verse deal must be factored in.

Basically you do have to sort of work at both, just sometimes you find a given option more appealing than others. And that means a lot to me.

So when I have a chance to savor the time without as much effort as the deal I go for it. That is what is important.

Mainly the rule is with a deal you have some risk involved. Some thought required that will be a necessary in order to accomplish what you want.

This is all fun at times. Providing you keep it focused and are willing to devote yourself to the goal of having it be good.

I don't see this as much of a problem. I see it as a common element we can all appreciate when we try.

Some just are more inclined to do so than others. I don't pretend to make that part of the rules others follow though.

Which is fine with me. For if they want to have a given set of rules and it all works best for them, then cool.

But that is all a matter of personal preference I suppose. I just prefer to make fun the order of the day.

And I order it as often as I can. Maybe not as often as I would like, but often enough to make it a good thing in my case.

Isn't that so wonderful?

A GOOD DEAL

Wonderful concept, the idea of a good deal. You know, something that holds a promise of being helpful. That is a definite plus in any possible deal.

In fact it is probably necessary. At least if you expect to have it somehow have any incentive for the other person.

Which sort of helps when you are talking about things such as expecting a person to cooperated. If it doesn't exactly line their pockets in someway they are less inclined to smile and say okay.

But, BUT, if you manage to fine that one button of greed to push that makes them drool then all is well. Okay maybe not well, but headed in the right direction.

And that is a good start. At least from my plotting view. Which is what I think really counts.

Only you can't put it that way. People are funny about such things. They love to have you baste their hearts in a way that appeals to greed without it actually seeming to be that way.

People don't like to admit they are that filled with greed. That is seen as a bad thing. Why, I'm not sure.

I mean we all have needs so what is wrong with admitting we want to have them met? Is that so terrible?

Well apparently it isn't quite that terrible in terms of admitting we do want things out of life. The barrier seems to be with regards to how bad we are willing to say we want those things.

Like we all get hungry. And wanting to eat is no big problem. However, if we take it beyond that level and to something where say we are plotting to rip off some restaurant or grocery store that is not good.

So there is a fine line between a good deal in terms of desire and one that totally goes over the edge. Now all of that how it appears in public comments.

Unofficially, naturally, things are different. Then it is okay to have this little plan for plotting to let your greed breathe.

Which is the part that I love. For it is the way I offer my good deals. Basically, having one deal when mentioning it in public and another when mentioning it in private.

And it isn't surprising the number of people who manage to buy into the private good deal when they think nobody is watching. Just restores my faith in human nature as I see it.

TEASES

Ah, let me tell you this is so much fun. Just those little ways you can drive people crazy. It is painful, but in a good way. Well for me it is.

I won't say it will be for others. Some seem to think it is less than a good thing. That is when they end up being the one that has no fun in the process.

Which sort of describes so many without a capacity for fun. Honestly there are a lot of people out there lacking a sense of humor.

Pathetic huh? Oh yeah, that is a big problem for some. Not me, I always find a reason to smile.

And true often it is at another person's expense. Which is find for me. But not necessarily for others.

People just don't have the ability to laugh at themselves that much. They get so inclined to get upset over some little attempt at making them take life less seriously.

But that is me. And what can I say? I don't regard this as a bad thing. I regard it as a something other than a way to live life if it means you never get much a chance to smile.

Does this mean I enjoy being teased? Well it depends on who it is and why? I mean are we talking about somebody who is going to comfort me in the process?

Or are we talking about somebody who just treats this as a from of cruelty. That is not the point.

But you can't keep some from taking that route. Such is the nature of teasing. Handled right it can inspire.

Handled badly it can totally deflate the mind. But that is a matter of choice. And there are occasions when this is not something that everyone will smile about

However, I do the best I can with it. And that means smiling when I can even if I'm the only one who is smiling.

Oh well you can't please everyone. This we understand. Only we will never truly be able to grasp that reality for sure.

Sometimes we just have to play the game and do what we can to hope it will all be understood by others. This doesn't always happen though.

We accept that as part of the process. And we move ahead, even if others don't seem to grasp that as part of the game. They are normally ones with a rule book that doesn't actually work.

SPELL IT

This is a good thing for those who like to have words said very slowly and clearly. They need some inspiration to clarify a given choice in specific instructions that are not the least bit complicated.

Yep, you have to spell it out precisely. No room for error or questions. Just moseying along with intentions and smiles. Feeling so happy that life makes sense.

Then you run into somebody who looks at your utopia and says, "I don't get it." They really are not encouraging. More like a major pain in the butt.

Which never makes life have a reason to smile. Oh man is that other than a joy. Because you can be sure it will not end up with them seeing that you have as smile after you sprain your brain trying to answer their stupid questions.

And in the end they won't change. They will drive you as bonkers as they are. But that will not improve your life.

About the only way to avoid such disasters is to not have to deal with such people. And that would be wonderful if it was possible.

Not likely though. People needing life spelled out for them dominate the world as far as I'm concerned. My opinion you understand.

Which is the one that counts in my view. Yeah, I can be very picky that way. I just happen to figure if you can't understand things without having it said at that level then perhaps you ought to do business elsewhere.

And I won't mind if you do keep that little ambition to decipher what I mean in moron as your own hobby. That will be a joy in my book.

But I doubt it will happen that way. People are just not as prone to feel so inclined to keep such practices in their own world.

Nope, it would be nice if they did, but they never do. Instead they insist upon wearing u out with them.

And that makes life less than inspiring from my point of view. Yep, I cherish the simple things like not having to answer questions that make you go huh?

It is the small little details like that at times which truly give life so many extra reasons to smile. Well it does for me.

In the meantime, we plod along in the joy of the day, happy to savor each little joy that comes my way. Even if I do have to sort of inspire others to be something other than a loon in the process.

LOSING IT

Well, there are times when it is nice to discard things. Old worn out items are often something we find a reason to eliminate.

Unless you are talking about people. Then it isn't considered a good option. Well not officially.

The big part of this is the word "official." But that doesn't quite relate to the idea of "actual." Which relates to what we really do.

I won't say this is a good option. It can be the epitome of hypocrisy. This is not a term we exactly warm up to is it?

I don't. Oh I know it is true, but it doesn't mean we agree with it or have a desire to savor in some wonderful way.

Of course there are forms of losing it that are not quite as glamorous. Such as when we lose control.

This is not normally considered one of our finest moments. It is a time we are less than noble and proud.

But it still happens. We might work hard to justify it, but we still find ways to make it all seem great.

Not that it will ever be this way for truth. However, we seldom make truth our priority. Unless we figure out a way for it to be what we want.

Oh there are all kinds of losing it that fall under a variable levels of smiles and frowns. Which is the way i gauge them.

Maybe others don't. Which would not be surprising, but I do. What can I say, we all have our fun in life don't we?

Just a pity that losing it has to be other than a reason for smiles. It happens when you lose something you really want.

I can't say that is a good thing in every case, but it can be entertaining just the same. Providing you speak of joy as including such a wide variety of interpretations.

This just doesn't always take place with some people. It works for me. And that is because I keep my options open.

At least that is my prevailing theory. It might change tomorrow, but for now it is so much fun to lose things in a way that leaves me saying, it could be worse. I just don't want that to be for something I really want.

HAVING IT ALL

Isn't this such a great idea? Being able to enjoy everything you really want out of life. It is an idea whose time has come.

Only problem is convincing others of this. Not ordinary people, but the ones who already have it all and want more.

Yeah, you got to worry about them. Because they will not be content with their having it all, they want your little in the process also.

Fact of life I'm afraid. You just find way too many who either have it and don't desire anything, but to get more. Then you have the other side of the coin.

That is the ones who have little or nothing. They are in the position of wanting more also. Only they have more of an excuse because they do have needs.

But it still comes down to the fact that when you look at it everyone has the same wish. To have more.

And I admit that I'm just as prone to such desires as the next person. Which I see no reason not to confess.

But again the prevail problem is that we can't all have it all. Wish we could, but would it be all if we had it all?

Probably not. Instead we would then have a new level of all and that would really get confusing I bet.

As for me, well I'm happy to peddle my little trinkets of political lust and corruption to see where they lead. Once and a while they even turn out to be a nice plus.

I manage to find somebody who gets a chance to help me with my having it all and maybe I help them also. Doesn't happen all the time, just some times.

In any event, I'm happy when a dream comes close to realty. And when I get close to my idea of having it all then I'm happy.

Not that it happens enough to suit my tastes. Just once and a while and never to the point that I feel satisfied for very long.

But that doesn't keep from trying. And I will always do that. As I imagine so many will. Only too bad none of us can wave a magic wand and turn our dreams into having it all our way.

I guess for now I'll just be happy to milk whatever gold I can when I can. That will be a reason to smile.

ONIONS

I think most people know what happens when you cut onions. It makes the eyes water. Nothing surprising about it, just a reality when you have to cut onions.

Now does one complain when they have to cut onions? In terms of being surprised that you end up crying? I don't we do.

But I could be wrong. There might be some uninformed being out there that cuts onions for the first time and says, "hey this sucks."

However, I'm going to assume that is not the norm. That most people are more informed and willing to accept what happens when you cut onions.

Just going to go with my gut reaction on that one. After all it isn't like it is a secret right? Not as far as I have heard.

So as a rule we understand the basic rule, don't expect to mess with onions without ending up with some tears. Simple enough right?

Wish that was true for everyone. Life does intrude upon our existence with many cases of onions.

I'm speaking of those things here that end up making us know they are going to lead to some kind of tears. We understand it up front so there should be no complaint.

But that isn't quite how it works. Not from what I have seen. Instead people are prone to look at it and gripe.

Oh it just makes us feel so much better. Not that it improves anything, but we feel better in the process.

There is the old saying about how when you get lemons you are to make lemonade. Basically something good out of something sour.

Not sure that rule applies to onions. Turning them into juice will not improve on them being onions.

Unless perhaps you can somehow turn them into something you can mix with something else. Then perhaps it will be a good thing.

In any case what I do know is if you start out with onions, expect to cry. Plain and simple.

So no complaining. Just go with it. Better than being silly about it and hoping the onions will suddenly become something else. That is a nice dream, but it sucks in terms of being realistic.

PASS THE PLATE AND DON'T SPILL IT

Ah, the joy of fund raising. Just does my heart good to see such activities prosper. And that really makes me happy when I get to participate.

Now that truly is a blessing. You know when you have that beautiful opportunity to sit back and spread a little joy by making people think you care and really need their help.

And the whole time all you need is their money. Now that is a real art. Being able to sway some sucker into thinking you care about him when all you want is his check book.

I know, I know that seems like a pathetic reality, but what can I say, would it be better to make it up? I can do that if it will help.

But the problem is that I just don't need to get involved with that kind of silliness. Honestly, this is a big program from my view of making this whole fund raising thing seem legitimate.

That way people feel good about it. And you know I just think it is so much better when somebody actually enjoys forking over their money. They are less likely to complain.

Course the tricky part is being able to you know sit down and enlist helpers in this process who don't have glue on their fingers. The kind that ends up keeping way to much of the funds in their hands.

That is not helpful. And trust me that is a big problem. For they just seem to get this urge of thinking the money works great finding its way into their pocket.

Which is not my idea of asking for them help. That just doesn't help me at all. Because I have enough problems with shifting the funds around so that the majority end up in my pocket anyway.

I sure don't need any help with that part. And finding helpers that unlike me are not greedy.

Oh they are out there, just not as visible as I would like. The problem is that they often hide their greed. And if I don't ferret it out in time, I really pay for it later.

Now that really bugs me when I find out too late. Boy does it piss me off to find out somebody is a bigger crook than I am.

Thank goodness most of the people with that problem usually fail my first test. Which is on where I pretend to trust them with money.

Only it is generally counterfeit. So I don't mention that part. Just if it ends up missing, I turn them end. Yeah, I can be funny that way. But hey you don't get screwed twice that way.

TOUGH ENOUGH UNLESS

Oh yeah this is the epitome of thrills. A time full of confidence that doesn't translate into any real productivity.

Oh it looks great, but doesn't in any way change reality. That is not a fun thing when you look at the results.

But before things get messed up and reality takes over boy do you have fun. Oh the speeches that are inspired. Really does make for so much fun.

Only it never really turns out that successful, just for a while it is a great dream. A wonderful time can be hand in the process of visions.

That is when you have all kinds of parties to celebrate the impending victory. Now the big key word here is impending.

For it is so great to speak with positivism and hope. To be able to focus on the idea that we can overcome any crisis.

It just drills the mind and spirit with such energy. And oh how it feels so good to think life is going to improve.

All of this happens before you actually do any effort on the project or whatever routine you are facing. It really is just more seeing the end result.

The big problem as with most things is that we love the party and hate the bill. But you can't have the party without somebody picking up the tab.

That is the rule of life you have to accept. It is never quite the same as with the fun part. Unless you have success.

Then you have to cope with the joy of all that detail that demands attention. The detail is such a bugger.

Because facts never sleep and don't care about whether you are a nice person or have a good plan. They care about consequences.

And let me tell you that sucks when you are a dreamer. But what the heck it is all in fun. As long as you see it that way.

But if keep it in the proper perspective then great. Some love party so much they just think the chore will be the same way.

Big mistake. And if you keep that kind of view you are always going hate the bill. But then that is part of the joy. At least for me. I consider that to be entertainment. But I'm like that.

SNOOZING TO FEEL BRUISING

Ah this is not necessarily a good thing. I tell you that is never a good option if you can avoid it.

And it is one I definitely work very hard to not let happen. This can be such a challenge at times. Honestly to be sure you don't get too lazy and do nothing even when you are relaxing.

Being able to take it easy is important, but you do have to be careful that you don't run the risk of not in any way avoiding discovery for your snoozing when there is a risk of bruising. Now I'm talking about the bruising that is involved with one's reputation.

Basically where you have worked hard to prove you are a certain kind of person and then find out that somebody learns you have made it all up. People just don't regard laziness as a noble quality.

And that is okay when you are talking how they view others. However, I do have to battle being viewed that way as Mayor.

After all it is not the easiest thing to do that you can get viewed as energetic and dynamic when you are a lazy slob. That is such a big problem.

And believe me I do not forget that element. Image is so important. I didn't say the image was true, just that it is the one that you have to accept that others see.

Such a big pain at times admittedly. I mean it is all so much of a problem. Just having to cope with the mess of living your basic nature and creating a different one for others.

It isn't impossible though. Just a matter of how crafted you are about being sure that you let others see it as it is suppose to be.

Which is part of what you have to deal with as long as you are forced to be one thing in life and live another. Ah, such is the peril of life.

And I do the best I can to live with it. Only at times it is so hard to actually keep up this pretense forever.

Not that I'm proud of such options. It is the only one that I have to accept. And so being the slave to opinion that I am I just smile and consider it a cost of doing business.

Some fun huh? Yep, that is how I view it too. Such is the nature of life. But then it wil always be the joy I will face when life deals me this kind of fun.

Maybe I could avoid it if I wanted. By say marching off to the land where truth is king. Never been much for being around that kind of nobility though. Which is my option you understand.

SNOOZING TO SNOOZE

Okay we all know there is a time and place for everything. And let me tell you that when it comes to having a time to snooze, oh my I sure can make time for this.

Naps are a such a blessing. And I have to be honest that I love the times when I get to close the door to my office. Then sit back while telling my secretary that I am in a meeting. Oh I do have to exaggerate that part. Not that I have a lot of trouble doing that.

I just tell my secretary I'm on a conference call. Only to make it believable I do have to claim I'm using my cell phone. It is amazing how easily she buys that one.

But to keep her from getting too suspicious I do also let her know at times that I'm using the internet and can not be disturbed. Now that works great too.

The big challenge is that I have to be sure I don't end up snoring. Of course to help avoid that problem I do make sure I take the time to play the radio loud at times. Just loud enough to be sure it covers any noise I might make.

Now the big challenge too is that I do not let down my guard and accidentally take time to walk out of my office before I'm fully awake. Having my clothes out of place and looking sleepy doesn't work in terms of claiming I was busy.

My secretary is very trusting, but let me tell you she sure is smart enough to recognize when I've been sleeping. Not even I can lie good enough to excuse that.

Perhaps my favorite choice is to tell her I will busy all afternoon and cannot be disturbed. Then I slip out the secret passageway behind my bookcase and out into the alley.

If I work it right I get several hours of quiet time to do whatever. But I do have to be careful.

For in my joy of having escape to do some recreational snoozing, I have to be sure I don't forget to not return with something like pizza on my breath.

Honestly there is no way to avoid that. I just really can't risk that kind of embarrassment. It just doesn't work for me.

And I can tell you doesn't work for my secretary either. Man she will smell food even with the door closed.

Believe me I found out that the hard way and I do not wish to repeat it. That's because it is too expensive.

I mean in order to get her to forget I have to buy her a whole lot of food and that is not a good thing cost wise. But I wrote it off as the price of learning, which I guess was a good thing.

SNOOZING AND BOOZING

This is to me a normal reaction. Enough boozing will make you need to do some snoozing. Simple fact of life you know.

I don't see that as all bad. Drinking can be hard work at time. So a nice rest is a good option.

But I don't want to say it is always a good choice. Nor do I want to dwell on this choice as my ideal.

What I'm really dealing with here is the issue of consumption. The basic need we have to imbibe in some aspect of life.

Really is essential you understand. One can not go through life and expect to never consume.

But people do have different views of consumption. Some make it a hobby. An adventure into a realm where life transcends the routine.

Who is not without a joy of choice for wanting to escape life as it is? However, as much as it is appealing there are times when it isn't possible.

So those are the times we search for a quick solution. One that will grant us some diversion that makes us smile a tad.

All that is elemental I suppose. A simple point of clarity about desire. Ah yes we can truly savor those moments.

I won't say that we obtain it when we want. Just that we do have to pursue those choices at times.

Providing we have the chance to vent this way without getting too carried away. That is the snoozing part.

We need those escapes that do not lead to over indulgence. That might seem like a strange thing for me to say, but it is a reality.

Which is what I focus on. A chance to indulge without embarrassing myself. Translation, not hangovers.

That means having to face a consequence after the fact. I mean it is fun to be able to pursue a joy, but a whole different object if it means you are going to end up with everyone else knowing about it.

And that isn't a good thing. Well not in my view. I prefer to just keep people guessing and that worth not letting them know how many times I have imbibed.

SNOOZING OR LOSING

This is a basic rule with certain types of activities. If you stop concentrating you can be sure you will lose out on opportunities.

Now maybe you don't mind taking a nap and finding out your dreams didn't come true in the process. That doesn't work for me though.

I don't like the idea of missing out on anything fun. And that especially means something I have worked hard to accomplish.

That is really important as an issue for me. Honestly, it is so important to never miss out on things where you could have had them, but got screwed up because you were being lazy.

Well it is my rule. After all for me the basic rule is greed never sleeps. Yeah, that's right, greed.

You can be sure I take that very serious. Because you can say what you want, but greed and sleep just don't go together.

Admittedly, I am a very lazy guy by nature. So I do have to work very hard to be sure I milk any situation as much as possible of other people's time so they do all the work.

In any case, that is my strategy. And that is one, which I am very happy to employ from my situation. It just works do darn good.

Now it might not work for others. There are people with values. Some strange nature in their thinking that says it is a good to actually have values.

I'm not against values as long as they don't intrude upon reality. Which for me involves with understanding you can't afford to miss out on certain things.

It just is not a good option. Not when you have the choice to deal with it in a way that is positive and uplifting. A little industry, even if fostered by another person and all is well.

At least from my point of view. But then I can't say that is true for everyone. But that is life.

In any event we can move on to future hopes and ideas. Just don't take nap while the paint is drying.

My little option for adding a paint metaphor to saying never assume things are going to work out if you haven't plan them right. And that is not a good thing. Which is something I avoid.

You can handle them as you wish. I will be glad to profit from you naps.

OPPONENTS

Ah, the sweet joy of battle. Providing you win. That makes all the difference for me. And you really have to respect how important it is in terms of competition.

See the problem is that while battle can be fun. Losing is not my idea of a good time. And I sure don't like the idea of being a good sport about losing. That doesn't work for me.

Nor does losing by following the rules work for me either. I'm sorry but the optimum word here is losing.

Which is why I always prefer to deal with my opponents by making sure I have a nice edge. Some little detail that will give me a reason to truly ruin their day.

Okay, if I work it right, I will ruin their life. Hey a perfect victory just makes me smile all the more.

And why would I complain either. Of course having opponents is necessary. I do need them for the illusion that I won fairly.

But that isn't something I like to pretend about or even risk. So I always prefer the joy of doing what I can to give myself the little edge in that regard.

Nothing obvious you understand. Just a little illusion that things are fair when in reality they are not.

Which is the fun part. I have to make this all into a game where others look at it and don't know I've cheated in some way.

Hey, to me winning is the most important part. And you can forget all that absurd stuff where it matters how you play the game.

True, it does matter, but only in terms of playing so you can win. Yeah that is a bit crazy, but so is life.

This is all part of my Limburger guide to practical living. That is what I call it. Others have different names for it I suppose.

But personally, they can take their own view all they way. As for myself, I'm moving on. Which means to the winners circle.

And you can be sure I'm not leaving if I don't have to. Bribes are always nice in that regard.

Which is a fun option. I never complain about taking them either. Providing I still get to win in the process.

THE GOOD STUFF

Now this is a good thing. Of course it is. They wouldn't call it the good stuff unless it was good. Only of minor note is one should appreciate how there is no mention with this of what exactly is meant by good.

Which could be a rather important element if you think about it. After all before you get all excited by the idea of the good stuff it is helpful to know the kind of good you are talking about.

Kind of an important issue from my point of view and let me tell you in my town it is even more critical. Because the one thing I can count on is that in a place were dull is normal, boring gets the nod at times in terms of good stuff.

Really is pathetic, but let me tell you some of the events we have where we have this idea of lethargy being celebrated just doesn't make my list of good stuff. It doesn't even make my list of crap either.

However, you can tell people who live for such excitement as a spelling bee. Okay it might not be as boring as some options, but it sure doesn't top my list as fun.

In any case, I have survive that insanity for the most part. I will admit I do go a tad crazy at times.

I mean you can only eat so many bland chicken banquet dinners and look happy. I'm going at lying, but that really is tough.

Then there are the endless attempts to define fun by some other means. Such as parties. Which would be good if they made an effort to be fun.

I'm sorry about playing charades where you try and act out only Old Testament biblical characters doesn't work for me. I thought I would have a stroke from the time the expected me to know who Ezra was. Like I had a pray on that one.

But that's okay, I didn't win. Which I don't think was on my list of options anyway. Winner got to be in charge of the tin foil origami challenge. Figure that one out if you can.

As for me, well shoot, I do work so hard at smiling till it makes my lip sore. You have to let these people think this is the good stuff.

It never is, but I guess it is better to let them think it is. That way they don't ask me to help.

I live in mortal fear you know that they will ask for my help and I'll end up actually being more like them. I have resisted the need to go shopping for bow ties so far, and I hope I never weaken.

TIMES WHEN CHANGE COMES

I never had anything against the idea of time. Just not sure I'm thrilled about it either. Hard to get excited from my point of view about something you can't control. But it doesn't mean I wouldn't want to if I could. I'm sure most would agree on that.

Not that we can get a vote on that subject, but it would be fun just the same. At least it is fun to speculate about. Well I think it is.

I guess from my point of view the thing is, I like to imagine what it would be like to have an option. You know stop time and add to the minutes if you want.

I certainly think it would be nice if we could figure a way to achieve this. It is just that even though it doesn't happen, I do savor the chance to believe it could.

Why? I guess it is more like why not? Life is like that for me. I love being able to ponder who we can alter reality.

Why even bother you might ask? I guess I think it is a good exercise. You know miracle can happen.

So maybe my idea of a miracle is a little silly. But then life is silly. So why not think about it in silly terms?

Now come on and work with me here. I'm trying to help everyone appreciate the need for having a good sense of humor.

After all if we can smile at time and how pointless so much crap turns out to be then great. Then perhaps we can relax and enjoy life again.

I mean come on, nobody is going to live forever. Life is pretty much a stop watch waiting to stop, so let's have fun while we can.

The big draw back is having to spend time doing all the other crap in order to be able to afford the fun times. That is the part that sucks.

Now if you are in my position things are different. I can sort of fudge on my work time by dumping crap on others.

Did I say it was a good thing? Well no. I wouldn't bother trying to pretend that is a good deal for the poor slobs who I dump work on.

But then I have an excuse. Of course I always have one. And that for me is what makes it well worth it.

At least in terms of guilt over squandering time and money. But I do have a smile while I do it.

CARNIVAL

CARNIVAL

We have these in our city from time to time. A small little event to full of fun and excitement.

Well that is the way it is listed on the advertisement. Kind of like those blurbs they put on the boxes of kids toys. The ones about hours of fun.

Even though when you get down to using it there isn't anywhere near the many moments of joy. But who would buy something that was labeled, will bore you to death after ten minutes.

Nope that will never work. You can plan on it not being put on any box. A lot of thrilled packed advertising is like that.

Now when this carnival does come to town we do our best to play up the fun part. But it never actually ends up living up to the standards.

So we do what we can to survive. And in the process to make sure we don't get to many upset people in the process.

After all people are funny about when you tell them to expect happy from something. They get rather sensitive about looking forward to smiles and not come. That can really be such a pain.

Part of it comes I think from the fact that real life sucks. At least it does too often for some, not everyone.

Mainly the poor folks with limited resources. For those of us with more options, we can find a nice distraction to fill in the void.

But this doesn't help the poor person who isn't doing okay and can't afford otherwise. So they want all you can get as cheaply as possible.

And I can't blame them. I just do what I can to be sure that I can savor all that I can and try to pass on a little hope to others in the process.

That is the best option. We always cherish that process when we can. I even feel good with that happens. It doesn't happen all the time though.

Some times we goof up. And when we do that ends up making for lots of grumpy faces. Such is the nature of joy in such occasions.

All is the part of life that makes it so worthwhile. At least when you have a chance to smile and make another person smile in the process.

If by chance it ends with them helping line your pocket even better.

CELEBRATION

Oh how I do love this option. I call it an option since it does summon the joy of having a good time for a valid reason.

I do have to admit that celebrating of any kind appeals to me. So I do rejoice over that opportunity when it comes. It is just when the occasion has some merit that everyone understands it is even better.

Then you can have guilt free time. Which is so much preferable to the occasions when you feel like crap.

Oh yeah, I do savor the moments of partying with an extra smile because it is okay in other's eyes. It really counts in my situation.

But then in my life any time I can run away from life and savor an hour whole day just doing nothing except acting crazy, I feel great. And even better if I don't have to lie about it.

However there are too many occasions when people just don't seem to get it. They actually aren't willing to accept that as the proper philosophy for life.

Come on now, let's be honest, we can do a whole lot of discussion on what is proper, but nobody is going to seriously say that spending every second playing is good. They might not be willing to say it even though they believe it in reality.

And sadly because I am a politician I have to engage in supporting that point of view. I have to invest myself with the status quo opinion.

That you understand is just to get votes. It is a nice speech that I can say for the purposes of impressing.

You know the old, nose to the grind stone routine. A wonderful sentiment. Not hardly true in terms of desires, but sounds great.

And I will with such fervor and feigned conviction confess my support for that point of view. I'll keep doing same no matter what.

Only problem is that this doesn't actually do my taste buds much good. Instead I focus on being happy.

I just don't admit it to others. Not unless they truly happen to agree with my party philosophy.

Which normally happens when we are at the party. Oh we do have a great time. Just not when we are in a position where we have to tell others. That can ruin the effect when they see you having such a good time and goofing off.

A PENNY'S WORTH

We do appreciate how a penny is not a lot of money today. Some people don't even bother to save them very much.

They are money, but let's be honest you can not spend them very many places. Unless you have several. And then most of the time we would rather just exchange them for some kind of coin that is worth more.

Where am I going with all this rambling? I guess to focus on how we have lost the appreciation for minor things that still have value.

Does it really matter? I think it does. At least to me it does. I don't want to get to the place where life gets so absorbed with activity that we don't embrace what is of value.

Okay that is truly you know a philosophical approach. But that is a part of life I wish to never forget.

For after all pennies do add up. They might seem so important on their own, but if we take that attitude we miss what is important. My view you understand.

Where this is important in my thinking is in the area of how people view life and ambition. I mean in order to get ahead you do need a good strategy.

But sometimes people get so caught up in thinking in terms of the final goal, they don't concentrate on the small details. Sort of like planning this wonderful trip, but not bothering to be sure there are any gas stations where you are going.

Kind of silly frame of reference perhaps, but it nonetheless applicable in my view. And even though it is so important to concentrated on one's destination, you better be darn sure you are also aware of many socks you'll need to get there. Sounds strange, but you might be surprised how often that is a problem.

At least in my world. Oh yeah it comes up all the time. Just way to often for my taste. Way too many occasions you find people are just not receptive to that process.

It happens mainly when you find yourself dealing with somebody who gets inspired to dream. Oh they find the courage they never had before.

A wonderful transition for some. Providing they don't forget that there are still problems in life.

You can dream of soaring the skies in a single rapturous bound, but honestly, if you don't pay attention to the rocks in front of you then you are going to fall. And I'll be there to help you out.

I might steal you blind in the process, but you probably won't even notice at the time.

DO OR PIE

I like this kind of choice. The type where you either do a given chore or take a break to have a nice pie of pie to sort of forget the whole thing.

Course that doesn't mean you can tell others it that way. And especially if the chore is some kind of emergency.

Then perhaps it is best to not share your plans. People can be so darn picky about you taking a pie break when they are facing the risk of a major disaster.

That just isn't the time when many people are inclined to be supportive of such choices. And you can't even offer them a piece if they are like worried about survival.

Pie is really great, but it doesn't exactly cut it when speaking of solving their problems. They just can't seem to get all that excited at that moment over a snack in such situations.

Plus they will not be all that thrilled to know you bailed on them either. Well not for pie at least.

Which is why you have to come up with a lie. One that will make it look like you care and then still lets you get away without helping.

That can be real tricky. It takes practice to truly come up with a decent lie in such situations.

But I have learned some types of excuses do work a lot better than others. They just seem to get a more calming reaction.

My personal favorite has to be when I come up with some other form of crisis. But it does have to be believable.

If you make sure they know you have some other crisis that they think is real, they will be more understanding. And that always is a better choice to them being angry.

But then if you do happen to choose that option it is also important that you do not take time to go to some pie place the person might see you. That is really a bad choice.

So it is another little detail that is best to factor in. You need a believable phony crisis to escape the real one.

And if you go for pie have the good taste to do it where the person won't see you. It is a very wise option.

One that I learn the hard way. Some how it just makes pie taste less tasty if you have the flavor in your mouth of feeling like a complete jerk when that person looks you in the eyes after finding you in a bakery.

CELEBRATION

Oh how I do love this option. I call it an option since it does summon the joy of having a good time for a valid reason.

I do have to admit that celebrating of any kind appeals to me. So I do rejoice over that opportunity when it comes. It is just when the occasion has some merit that everyone understands it is even better.

Then you can have guilt free time. Which is so much preferable to the occasions when you feel like crap.

Oh yeah, I do savor the moments of partying with an extra smile because it is okay in other's eyes. It really counts in my situation.

But then in my life any time I can run away from life and savor an hour whole day just doing nothing except acting crazy, I feel great. And even better if I don't have to lie about it.

However there are too many occasions when people just don't seem to get it. They actually aren't willing to accept that as the proper philosophy for life.

Come on now, let's be honest, we can do a whole lot of discussion on what is proper, but nobody is going to seriously say that spending every second playing is good. They might not be willing to say it even though they believe it in reality.

And sadly because I am a politician I have to engage in supporting that point of view. I have to invest myself with the status quo opinion.

That you understand is just to get votes. It is a nice speech that I can say for the purposes of impressing.

You know the old, nose to the grind stone routine. A wonderful sentiment. Not hardly true in terms of desires, but sounds great.

And I will with such fervor and feigned conviction confess my support for that point of view. I'll keep doing same no matter what.

Only problem is that this doesn't actually do my taste buds much good. Instead I focus on being happy.

I just don't admit it to others. Not unless they truly happen to agree with my party philosophy.

Which normally happens when we are at the party. Oh we do have a great time. Just not when we are in a position where we have to tell others. That can ruin the effect when they see you having such a good time and goofing off.

SCRUPLES

Ah, now this is supposed to be a good thing. And I imagine to some it is. Not to me though. Because scruples are not laws.

They are more like a vague rule of thumb some people base their actions upon. And you can't say they are always right in their view.

Not that they will admit it. No, no, no, no, no! You can be sure that any set of rules predicated upon a sense of right and wrong will not be the same for everyone.

Basically I think the rule is that if you do something that hurts another that is a bad thing and thus wrong. Course the exception is with the government. Laws have a way of being made that sometimes can inflict pain.

And on purpose on occasion. We do have a solution to that problem though. It is called lies.

Yep the old standard is always great. You just give a great speech where you explain some mess. And do it in a way that really works.

Only problem is that people don't always accept that as a good thing. Which it really isn't, but we have so much fun with that approach.

And it is even more fun when you can bribe or convince others that this stupidity is a good thing. Oh yes, that is a home run.

I like putting things in the view of sports. They are always such a great connection. All that winning and losing is so much fun.

At least it is for me. And there are times when that doesn't seem that way for somebody else.

But the fun is not worrying about such opinions. Scruples being in their essence whatever I want to sense as right and wrong.

What can I say, this might suck in some people's point of view, but it sure makes me happy. I love being able to say I have scruples.

I just don't explain it to others. I spend my time enjoying that idea without explaining it. And that really makes it all so thrilling.

Pity to many don't agree. Gosh some people are such pains. They get so picky about the smallest things.

But that is okay. We all need a hobby. Mind is pretending crap isn't crap when I give it to others.

MORE AND MORE THEN

A very nice resolution from my view. In principle, you understand. More being a good thing in many cases. Providing you are talking about a more that doesn't make you puke.

Now that is critical. A very important detail to not to ignore. For more that makes you sick is not a good option.

Hopefully one does have the means to determine if a given more is a bad risk or not. Now you might think this is not difficult to accomplish, but believe me it is a lot harder than one might imagine.

Mainly, because greed makes one stupid. I don't know how else to define it. The more you crave from pure lust, the more it becomes an addiction.

And if it happens to be something that doesn't end up actually being safe or helpful then you might as well go out and sell all your possessions for a sign that says, will work for brains. Yeah, that kind of stupid.

Why? Mainly because if the thing we crave is not truly good for us, then we aren't as apt to see any rewards. But it doesn't mean we won't want it just the same. A case of moronic logic.

None of which actually enters the mind when you are ravenous for more. You just are hungry.

This does not avail itself to any reasonable dialogue of reason. We just expect more, some way or somehow.

And we never even qualify the type of more that is good or bad, just that is it more. Which is not a good way of approaching this.

That is where the then comes into play. You really need to be able to factor in if you do this, then this will happen.

A nice sane consideration for the right mind. Providing you are capable of being in the right mind.

And fewer are so gifted. They just are not able to factor in the sane part. It gets lost in the me, me, me part.

I know, because I have do it way too often myself. Not a pleasant confession. But true none the same.

I do admit I'm still working on learning my lesson. I haven't so far, but I'm proud to admit that I do accept my condition. Right up to the point I expect more and it is for something dumb.

SPEAK FOREVER OR THIS SECOND

SPEAK FOREVER OR THIS SECOND

I'm thinking with this about the time in a wedding when the preacher says the line about speak now or forever hold your peace. Like say it or keep your mouth shut and no complaining from now on.

Course I can't recall in any wedding were this comment ever drew any real comment. But the problem is that with a lot of weddings the marriage falls apart and the speaking ends up being some disaster later. The forever part sort of gets forgotten. Thank you very much.

I can think of anyone that doesn't know marriages aren't perfect. But that doesn't seem to prevent people from actually expecting them to be perfect. Oh yeah, that is like, marriages might suck, but mine is going to be different. It will last and I'll always be happy.

My spouse will always be faithful and I will have another day of feeling alone in my life. Doesn't it sound wonderful?

I know if reality worked that way it would be wonderful. Somehow things just don't work out as we hope.

That never discourages others from trying. Which is probably a good thing. At least in terms of the way some people view life.

You do need hope. Something to believe in. At least that seems to be important from what I can tell.

We just function better if we think there is a pot of gold for us to have. One where we can look forward to blessings.

So we fudge a little on the facts. The important thing is we keep dreaming. Yeah, come on let's grab for the clouds. Come on it is all fun.

I know it won't feel like clouds in the divorce court. But what the heck at least one moment of happy is worth it right.

It is to me. I don't know, just feels so much more like life when we do that. A much safer and happier world than the one where we live.

And it might even last for more that one day. That is really worth it from my point of view.

All part of the forever we keep trying to claim and that is truly a reason to smile. Maybe a reason to get excited, but you never can know for sure if you don't try.

Just smile and keep hoping. That always makes it worth while.

I TOLD YOU SO

Oh yeah, this is so much fun to contemplate. Having somebody take the time to tell you, "I told you so."

Frankly, I've never been keen on such things. From my view prophets are not the most popular people in the world. There is just something other than cool about having some guy running around telling you after the fact about how smart they are.

This does not warm the cockles of my heart when this happens. It always ends up making me pissed off.

Now if they were wrong, I get happy. But then they aren't saying I told you so when they happen to make a major mistake.

The big problem to me is you just can never be sure when a person is a true prophet. I'm not sure this is easy to accomplish.

Course you find out after the fact. When the person manages to be incorrect, but before hand it can be hard. Very hard indeed.

I do what I can, but I have to admit that sometimes a person can be so convincing. They might be a complete jerk, but they can seem so correct.

Another factor is how often the person is forecasting bad things to happen. That seems to be the standard.

Good news does seem so much more rare in that regard. But that is okay. Because it is nice to know in advance if you can avoid disaster.

Problem is that you just have no way of being sure. There is always those who will end up being right.

So you can risk ignoring them. Instead you have to stress out about it. Which is not they way I enjoy things.

See the thing is if you pay attention and manage to react to what the person says then it is a good thing. Because they will be less able to say I told you so if you actually did manage to react when they said something.

Now the down side is if they are wrong. Then you have ended up wasting time on their dribble.

I wish I could say that it was easy to ignore them after they ended up wrong. But that doesn't work either. Because they might be right the next time

And that is not worth the risk from my point of view.

HAVEN IN YOUR PANTS

No, this isn't about the obvious. That would be too easy. Not that I wouldn't relish you know going there. After all, piety and a clean mind are not among my notable assets.

Be that as it may be, I didn't reserve this posting for that purpose. No, no, no, no. Instead I want to talk about the joy of wearing a great pair of pants.

Oh yeah, a nice pair of really expensive slacks just feel so good against the skin. Sound odd? Well let me tell you, it sure makes my day.

And I realize that compared to some things, slacks are not life saving issues, but they still feel pretty darn important to me. That is because of what they symbolize in my mind.

Which is luxury on a most personal level. One that you can feel and actually enjoy without anyone around. Most of all, it is legal.

Will doing this end the world's problems? Will end rid the earth of poverty, disease or death?

Nope. I never in anyway claimed that. Nor would I. But I do feel it will make you smile. And anything that does that is a good thing.

Oh yeah, it is the little things to be sure that truly gives you a reason to feel good. They are seldom given a lot of attention, but heck they are still fun.

And when you get past all the silliness people say is important, that counts for something. At least it does for me.

I have to admit that this is a philosophy that had evolved in my thinking. One that truly does inspire a new appreciation for what is important in life.

For me I have grown tired by all the obsession with things like making a living. I mean the way I approach it really gets exhausting.

Plotting and planning, doing all that sneaky activity really does wear a person down. Does for me at least.

So that is why at times I just enjoy having a chance to enjoy when I can savor something and not feel guilty. Course I do have to fudge a bit.

I mean if I spend a fortune on the pants then it can be rather taxing at times. After all you never know when somebody might remind me that the money could have been used to help somebody in need.

But then you know, I would do my best to buy the pants when nobody is around. That cuts down on that problem.

LET'S MAKE A DEAL

I tell you there are times when it is better not to make a bargain with sometimes. And amazing it is not when I'm dealing with crooks either.

I take extra precautions when having to deal with such people. We don't trust each other so we are both careful to be sure we get all the facts.

Just something about knowing you can't trust people that inspires care and caution. You just prepare to get reamed so you make sure you don't.

Where things get complicated is when you are dealing with supposedly honest people. They are so unpredictable.

Personally, I think it is because they are too honest. And when they find out somebody has lied, well they go nuts.

That always leads them to overreact. They will not sulk and go away feeling wounded. They want blood.

And the more honest they are, the more the more you can be sure they will try to get even. Which makes them very dangerous.

But the big problem with honest people is that you think they are also gullible. That they will somehow be an easy mark for one's lies.

The only problem is that they also remember. That means they will know what you said even if you have forgotten.

So that can sure be a pain if you don't watch out. It can really mess with your head. Because when you lie all the time you can't forget everything you said.

And when it comes to payback, that can be totally deadly. Which is why I avoid them as much as possible.

But others that are just as bad are those who were crooks and suddenly got religion. Even worse if they don't tell you about it.

Which is nearly as bad as the one who appears to be a crook, but it really honest. Those can be so seductive to you.

You think they are a crook so you act extra careful. Only that makes them suspicious because they think you are up to something.

Again it doesn't end in joy. Just a lot of finger pointing. And that never improves things. Just depresses. And let me tell you there is nothing more upsetting than being betrayed by a person you thought was a crook and instead was honest.

A WASTE OF TIME

Is this really so terrible? I'm not sure to be honest. I mean you do spend the time. It isn't like you tossed it away and never used it.

That is my view of wasting time. Which can't happen, so I don't think of it that way. Stupid huh?

I can't help it. From my view that is how I chose to regard this subject no matter how some treat it.

See it is always the people without any imagination to gripe about this. That is because the lack the creativity to really waste time in fun way.

If they had their choice everyone would live in a coffin when not working. No, I'm not exaggerating.

Honestly there are some people who would never be able to enjoy life regardless of how you spent the time. It would never give them pleasure.

Which I think is sort of an important element to have in life. The way I figure boring happens naturally.

You don't have to plan for it. You don't have to want it. It just happens all without effort.
Which makes fun the real challenge.

So let's just put on the thinking caps, which are party hats by the way and spread the smiles. Come on let's do it for the sake of sanity.

Well for the sake of my sanity at least. For me the waste of time comes when it is spent doing anything other than having fun.

That is the down time for finding heaven in your veins. Oh yeah, I love that idea. Being able to feel that good and on purpose.

Sorry to those who think you have to frown at all times. Who keep a watch everywhere and waste as much time figuring ways to save time rather than just live it. Dumb huh?

So from my point of view, I'm going to concentrate on the good life. On having fun whenever possible and avoiding all things boring as much as possible too.

But that is my choice. You can do whatever you wish. I hope it includes a few smiles a long the way.

What tragedy if you end up dying before your time from terminal dullness. I can help you understand. Providing you do have the ability to smile once and a while. And that is something we can work on over a beer.