CHURNING

Oh yeah, the sweet consequence of guilt. Got to love it. Those moments when can see pure fear in somebody's eyes.

Yep, a truly cherished moment. One of the sweetest victory. Because you know how it will end up meaning grief for somebody.

And the kind that leads to anxiety as well as things such as excessive cases of white knuckle moments. Just have the thrills to watch them panic.

It is always a time of purest joy. Providing you are not among those who are doing the suffering.

Nope that me is the time when we just get all giddy over the facts. You sit back and watch with such contentment.

And the more they decay in control the better the show. I know how much people love to make this a game.

You know act like they are in control. That nothing will come their way to ever keep them from controlling their life.

A nice fantasy to be sure. And as much as I love to make up such crap, I don't actually pretend it is true to myself.

That is the part, which truly is the most silly. Those times you have to just sit back and wait for the disaster.

Oh you can be sure it will come. Nothing will keep it from happening. Nope , not unless you happen to be related to luck.

Which I have yet to find to be the case in life. Oh there are a few that will still love to pretend they are never going to lose.

Yep, they are so full of it. Now what is the question. But you can be sure it will not be good.

Alas, that is what one works so hard to cure. The ridiculous times when this turns out to be other than something to brag about.

Well I know I did find it entertaining. Yep, such a blessing to be sure. At least for me. For them more about grief.

Which fits with my theory. There is a certain amount of grief floating around in life. The key is not to get you share.

For that you need a decoy. Anybody will do.

ANTACIDS

Now this is the times you sure would prefer to forget. Those moments when the news you hear churns your stomach.

And it is always bad news. The kind that is less than the end of the world, but more than finding out some mooch of a relative is showing up unexpectedly.

The in betweens really can be the pits. It can't be ignored, but you can't avoid it either. So you are stuck.

Which is what the antacid helps to take care of. Well at times at least. Not always. Some occasions no amount of antacid will help.

Then you need extra help. A trip to a water hole that offers you favorite version of pain killer.

I have tried my best to take and rate these situations. Give them status between OMG and oh well.

What I do is keep a nice record of these moments for references purposes. Yeah it is a blessing.

I don't know, I just like being able to go back after the fact and see all the fabulous history of such things. To see the times I was able to have victory.

Now a victory is when I take time to end this problem by dumping it on another person. The pass the buck type of antacid.

You got to love those. They can give you such smiles. Yep, I do so cherish when somebody else is stuck with this crisis.

And you see them having to swig a gallon of antacid to help ease their pain. Yeah, I can smile.

Well they can be so happy with that prospect. But I also know how they would easily do the same for me.

Oh well, that is the part of ambition you just have to try and learn to accept. No gain without a few of those moments.

But that is okay. I have learned for myself the wonderful means to minimize them. It is called law denial.

Um, that is where I tell somebody there is a law that covers why it is there problem. Yeah it is bogus, but what the heck, it does work at times.

The rest you just fake.

DON'T MOVE

Ah, the joys of mental paralysis. Just those moment of pure pleasure when the person's eyes tell you they are having a brain fart.

Yeah, now that is a real thrill. The times of such pleasure when you succeed in giving a person the kind of panic attack that keeps them from thinking.

Now normally this happens whenever you are dealing with a person that is dependent upon you in some way. Which I always savor.

Those are the lives you just truly cherish. And the hard part is finding these candidates when you need them.

Oh they are out there. A few hearty souls who will believe anything any time you tell them something.

The big plus to such situations is when you can turn them into a slave. Oh not officially. No, no, no.

This is all on paper. Mainly through loan or aid of some kind. And you just get so thrilled by the times this opportunity occurs.

Yes, it is to savor and enjoy. Which is so wonderful since it does present itself for me so often.

Oh not as often as I would like, but as a Mayor I experience this so much. But then maybe at times it is more than I would like.

Need is the pure gold of life for leech like me. Each nugget is the occasion for getting rich in some way.

The little mines that come begging to be prospected. You don't need a map or any other means to find them.

So you just sit back and stake a claim in that person's resources. And they will be so grateful.

Providing you work it right. Which is the big key. You have to be sure you take the time to not let it appear as you care.

Well in terms of getting rich. It has to be one of those cases where you act as if it is not a problem. Right up to the point to flash the IOU deed in their eyes.

Then comes the stares. Those moments of truth that dig in their eyes. The ones where they know you own their butts.

Pity I can't take a bow for my performances, but I guess I will settle for the wealth from the deception.

SOFTWARE

Another of those terms that came with the computer age. And we all know they are the keys to our program world.

Those little places where we get to hide and not think. A place we can find sense in the stupidity called life.

I personally have other ideas in mind with this one. Yeah, that is the joy I find from turning something soft.

I am thinking here in terms of brains. The ways I can make them nice and soft. So they will wear the way I want them too.

We're talking mush you understand. The ability to make people stop thinking in terms of reason.

To make them decide that being a robot is a good thing. Yeah, that is the part that really counts.

Well it does for me. And the best way to do this is by making people think they are content.

I didn't say they would really be content, but made to think so. And there are so many options in that regard.

Yep, a party, a few kind words and it is all enough to turn most minds into putty. Work it right and it will be silly too.

Hard to really be all that upset when you can mold a mind into a lump from a rock. Yep, got to love it.

And when I have the chance to accomplish I am extra proud. Sort of like taking pride in a piece of art.

But some might not look at it that way. They would be more inclined to treat it as a bad thing.

I guess I can appreciate it to a point. Some do get rather upset at the idea of being manipulated.

However, for me I see it as a good thing. And I always try to make it fun. Which helps to make it all beneficial.

Well from my view. Others, maybe not. Just leave them with a smile and everything is great.

Which is the part that gives me a reason to savor my version of software.

TEMPTATION

Well there are plenty who would treat this as a bad thing. Some element of life to be regarded with shame.

We don't exactly give trophies out for that kind of behavior. Nope, not the last I checked.

Oh we might preach about how we hate it, but that is just the cover story. Nope, not quite the joy we would want.

So instead we find ourselves prone to lie about it. Which is a temptation also, however, not one we talk about it.

In any case, I want to talk on the positive side of this. That venue of hope for the dark side.

Hmmm, sounds interesting to me. But then you can't say for sure how some will view it. Yeah, that is a problem.

Oh well this is the joy called life. We just love to take those moments and treat them as real.

But not at a price. So that is where the game comes in. Yeah, the grand occasion of special celebration.

This is when we find cause to take time sit and not face the truth. Not embrace the nature of life.

So come on let's find that joy, that special place we can hide and not worry about the temptations. Well not have to whine about them.

Yep, we can sure savor that option. Now for me it starts with accepting reality. Meaning we are human.

And to let that fact be our compass. One that allows us to venture forth in pure joy. A chance to march in truth.

Gosh that almost sounds like some kind of evangelism. What I'm getting at here I guess is honesty.

Let's not pretend we have no needs or urges. Instead to accept them. Then let me help to guide people to the place where I can offer a realistic form of temptation.

Yep, got to love it. Oh my the joy, the rapture of being free. Which only works when you depend on your uncle Rash.

Don't worry it will be a smile. Eventually.

TRANSFUSIONS

Well I'm sure most people would assume that this is related to blood. Some little situation that applies to an emergency.

Now talking about that would be way too easy. Just a predictable detour. Not the least work my effort.

What I'm thinking of is or course completely different. A matter of dealing with issues related to the pocket book.

You might not be the kind of person who ever needs a blood transfusion. Some are lucky that way.

However I would imagine everyone will need a wallet transfusion during their lifetime. Probably more than one.

And then that is where I do my service for others. It is a very important. I have the needles and process all arranged.

Just a question of making sure the right person is aware of my services. You have to be sure that they can afford the cost.

Oh I don't mind as long as they are willing to pay the charges. This is financial medicine after all.

So it is only fair that I get to pass on the cost. And a few extra charges to be sure it is worth my while.

Of course I also have to at times be sure that I add in any extra costs. And so naturally I do figure in those fees.

But the best part is helping others. That is what makes it all worthwhile. A chance to see a face light up from the joy.

It normally last right up to the point they get my first bill. Which is one of many naturally.

I just don't bother t tell them that at the time. Why ruin the moment's satisfaction of letting them discover this bill after the fact?

I think that really is not a good option. So I do tend to avoid mentioning it. Later just works so much better.

And by the time they discover the transfusion is really a debt, hey it is too late. However, they can savor the joy of getting help.

I only wish they were grateful more often.

REFUNDS

Well my goodness what a great idea. Providing you are the one getting the refund. Now if it is costing you bucks then forget it.

I am glad that I don't have to worry about them very much as a Mayor. We manage to not have to deal with them very much.

However, that doesn't mean I don't love them when it is my turn to look for them. Oh yeah you got to love it.

Just a little case of tapping somebody on the shoulder and saying hey, how about giving me a break here. Come on show your civic pride a little.

Wish that worked more, but it never does. Nope that little ploy never works. Just not quite how people view it.

They seem to think that when you are talking about any form of government that you have mega bucks. So that means they can rip you off no problem.

Not quite a good attitude to have. But part of the reality that I deal with and try to adjust in the process.

Yep, wish it worked better. Really do. I mean I would enjoy meeting a person sometime that actually liked the city government.

Enough to be sure they didn't act like it was a good thing to take advantage. But then I guess that isn't realistic.

So that means I have to find creative ways of inspiring more cooperation. Now to achieve this normally means a special for of creativity.

What I have to do is spend time giving a few forms of encouragement. This comes in the manner of little ways I can suggest the person can get a break.

Maybe help them with some permit or other city issue. Nothing illegal, but a way to be sure they get the perks they like so I can get the break I want.

Oh it can never be actually called it that way. No this has to be a game. And one where we both understand the process.

Alas that is not a problem. Jus have to be sure we take time to know the person and find the best way to make it work.

Oh yeah, that is the key. I do love those options. And it all works so wonderful to be looked at that way.

Just as long as well all do it with such great willing to make it all seem true, even if it is a joke.

GOOD IS WORSE

This is sort of like medicine that is good for you, but taste like crap. You need it to feel better, but taking it makes you feel rotten.

So you do the best you can to tolerate it. Accept the fact you have no choice. It is the option where you really don't have an option.

Now the whole thing to me in these situations is that you face them like being told the sentence you will get for a crime. Not thrilled, but too late to prevent or change it.

Maybe you will toy with how you could alter the choice tossed in your face, but in the end you take you medicine. Yep those are the times you just want to sneer.

Take yourself to a place and hide. Pretend the world is not insane, be happy and move ahead.

Fine that paradise you've always lusted to visit. Take a flight away from your problems and hope the world won't bother you in the process.

Well it is a wonderful fantasy. Lasts right up to the point you have that spoon in your hand.

Then it becomes less of a fantasy and more of a wish. An idea dangling out there where it won't ever become truth.

So you live with the fact and try to find a reason to smile. Can be very tough to be sure, but what the heck life is like that.

What I do naturally is to spend a far amount of time trying to find ways of making this something I can take advantage of with others. Yeah, as a Mayor it is very important to have these choices.

You can let the person cry on your shoulder and let them think you care. Then they will be sure they have some kind of hope.

This is the process of painting the medicine with honey. To make it seem so tasty and wonderful they will actually be convinced it is a good thing.

Now you may have to lie about the taste. Make it seem as if it is so yummy. Which is a tough sale at times.

However, some will make this a bridge they will cross. A journey taken in steps so hesitant, yet necessary.

In the end it will be a joy. At least if you get them to buy it was all a good thing. Which can be nice if they aren't left wincing.

DOWN AND ROUND

This is where somebody crushes you in some way. This adds to the pain by stuffing your ego into some dumpster of depression.

They are not content to verbally abuse you, they have to kick you when you are down. And you can be sure it isn't a joy.

But it can be a very artistic skill if done correctly. I'm talking about other than obvious. Yeah that will never be a wise choice.

Not if you are truly a master craftsman of this talent. The real pros always make this work in such a way that you think it is your fault.

And for that you can be sure a real masterpiece leaves the person totally wiped out and wanting to apologize. Now that is real talent when you can achieve it.

That is my effort when trying to produce such works of art. Always make the person so very appreciate for their wounds.

And that is the one thing you do find other that traditional. Which is because you are dealing with too many who are less than gifted or trained in this process.

Admittedly it is most of the time a process of home schooling. You can learn it in college.

Well not directly at least. You can learn it second hand. A very easy process if you find the right teacher.

Not everyone will be so fortunate. Because for one reason, they will not even accept this is a possibility.

Which is not that surprising. Who goes to college expecting to major is this kind of option?

I don't imagine that too many can expect to find it in a course catalogue. Yeah, that would not happen.

Which is why I am performing this service. To be sure that those poor and needy students get the inspiration.

Forget worrying about what great lessons you can learn from some old geezer about Aristotle or Plato. Never mind the words of Shakespeare.

Just find the shark. The one who will cut your thought and then flunk you for not showing up for a test.

Yeah, I think that will do it.

ALL'S FAIR

Oh yeah, no rules, no laws, no one telling you something is wrong. A chance to do what you want and be happy about it.

Now that is a blessing. And you can be sure that most people will be happy to take that option if it is available.

Oh they may in public say no. Make sure that people know they do not support the unbridle acts of pure pleasure.

Nope wouldn't work for some. At least in public. And you can be sure they will not take time to openly admit to such desires.

But if you approach them at the right time then you can truly remember the time later. A time when they fell off their pedestal.

Now this takes place when you find that right button to push. The one that rings the door bell to their heart.

Mainly it is whatever pleasure that truly means the most to them. And it will often be one they can't admit to.

As long as they feel first you can't be trusted to be told this weakness or lust. And second if they figure you can't help them either.

This is the time that I as a Mayor love to explore. Have a little discussion with them and discover their more coveted secret.

Now that is really a wonderful situation. When you can help to guide that person to the light.

Well in this case it is a neon one over some place where dreams come true. And if you are successful then all the better.

You can be sure when you get to know them well enough and can dangle that carrot of choice out there, they will grab it completely. And be so happy.

However, you do spare them the details about the fee. That comes later. After you make copies of the photos.

Oh yeah, those are such cherish moments. And to be able to share them is such a blessing.

Well to me when they pay through the nose to collect all the copies. But then what fun would it be otherwise.

Nope, none at all.

ALL IS CLEAR

A very important element in communication. You might be a walking dictionary, but if you aren't understood it means nothing.

The other part is having somebody actually comprehend. This can be an even bigger challenge.

I do find joy in the failures of the tongue. But even more so in the numbness of the brain. Now in both case what doesn't happen is truth.

It gets scrambled in the head and what you end with is a whole lot of other than sense. But nobody seems to be concerned.

I know because I deal with it everyday. I see the people who function at the huh level constantly.

Oh yeah their brain is in neutral and it isn't going to shift gears. If they have an accident oh will they complain.

But if they are to blame, forget it, that will be somebody else's fault. It is all part of my basic view of life too.

Essentially that there is no problem small enough to not need a scapegoat. The small ones are even more special to blame on others.

They put the biggest dent in your credibility. Oh yeah you can't have that. Nope image for me is everything.

But for some they are so pathetic about it. They will really take this to some absurd level as if it matters.

Which is my main point I suppose. Come on let's play the blame game as it should be played.

Meaning for fun. Yep, that is the priority. You can't take it serious. Because if it were really important then we would listen.

And so far from what I have seen most people could get by without their eyes. Even their brains too.

As long as you let them still have their tongues. Oh yeah that would be so critical. Have to be able to use that sound.

Otherwise you might have to think and listen. Where would the fun be in that? No where I can think of.

But then I assume you won't remember it anyway.

SMILE WHEN YOU DON'T SAY THAT

Aww this is such a joy. The times when somebody is gloating over your demise. Well maybe more like giving it some serious thought.

Kind of wishful thinking perhaps on their part. But you can see it in their eyes. They will sparkle with a special glow of lust.

Now I suppose it could be considered a form of love. It is just for themselves. And that will naturally taint how they view you.

It is made worse if the person happens to be somebody who hates you. Complicated by the fact if you don't know it.

Those are the ones you have to be careful about. The ones how have smiles, but hide their sneers.

Being a politician image is really my priority here. I do have to be sure I can craft a mask that is as likeable as possible.

I have to even be careful to try and not let the people I hate know how I feel. Got to smile and make nice.

Well in public. Privately is a different matter. Yep, you can be sure that alone or in the company of somebody I trust things are different.

Course trust is a rather tricky issue. Too many fail that test. About the only ones you can really trust at those who you can blackmail.

The people you have corrupted who would suffer if they turned traitor. I admit that is not the type of loyalty that you prefer.

Nope not my idea the perfect friendship. At least it is an honest one. And that is something I don't feel is all that bad either.

You can go through the motions of pretending if you want, but this is not quite the solution I like. Better a comrade you know can be bribed than one who you don't know about for sure.

Words are a great thing. But they can be such vanity. Promises that mean nothing and don't help at all.

So if you want to trust to some smile, fine. Have a good time. I don't think I will try. Not while I have enough to bribe.

Yeah, money is a great equalizer. Does so much for some people's memories. Providing you have done it right.

EVER ALMOST

Oh I love this. The idea of times when you think there is a chance at immortality an then something happens to ruin it.

In your confidence and enthusiasm you felt totally sure the future was going to be so perfect. Then reality came.

And that is such a pain in the butt. Hate those times. Just completely suck. But not like You can avoid them.

And the worse thing is how even with the times this ruins your day you still come back for more. Like truth will suddenly give any of us a break.

Wish I could write a law to make that change. At least in my city. And wouldn't even tell anyone.

Not outside the city. Nope have no plans on sharing. That will never do. In fact I wouldn't even tell others.

Just sort of pass the law for me. That way it would work better. There wouldn't be any issue of greed.

I do have to admit that it might be a problem if I didn't get older and everyone else did.
Would have to chance identities from time to time.

And that would also mean new spouse. I would hate that so much. However, the nice thing would be getting rid of old cronies.

That would surely be a blessing. I can't wait to have a chance to corrupt a whole new generation. Yeah just makes me so happy.

All I have to do is make sure I expand my options. Not limit myself to just thinking of the few.

Yeah, got to have those joys. Chances to fly instead of walk. And make somebody else pay for it.

Well I'm sure I can find some lawyer somewhere that can figure a loop hole on the death thing. Probably have several.

Hope none involve the devil though. Wouldn't trust that kind of contract. And I suppose no angels offer one either.

Must be an option though. Maybe an angel in training who doesn't know the rules. Yeah, my best option.

At least I hope so.

THANK YOU

I don't think gratitude is quite the habit it once was in our society. I think it is more like a place visit only if they have too.

I suppose I shouldn't be complaining. Just do prefer when I can take this somewhere that I feel appreciated.

Hardly an unreasonable request from my point of view. You have a right to be left feeling you did something good.

Only problem is convincing others that is the right choice. And this really gets difficult when you are talking about civil service.

People get this attitude that if they pay taxes they should be your boss. So they don't treat what you do as helping.

It is to be expected. So no thanks are needed. And even if they start demanding unreasonable stuff they still don't say thank you.

I actually tried once to see if I could change that. I went out of my way to truly help this one couple.

But the more I did the more they expected. And in the end they didn't say thank you. Not did they even pass on to others how I helped.

Oh they did come back for more later. Another request for some little favor that turned into a major pain in the butt.

I did truly get more than a little annoyed over their behavior. I mean I am the Mayor not some slave!

And that does not mean they can come around and dangle some request like I was a stupid puppet. Or pull my strings either.

Mr. Mammongrabber already gets enough practice doing that. So I don't need any help from somebody else.

Which is why I am inclined with the voters to be a tad less than enthused with them wanting to play boss. That is not going to make me happy.

After all I have such a full plate in that regard. I mean man I have the people who are leeches that I have to bribe.

The ones who bring me bribes also expect a certain degree of attention too. It all is less than my idea of perfection.

But then thank you in such situations generally comes with bags of cash. I can live with those.

SEASONED

Ah, the little salt shakers that are walking around. Always ready to sprinkle their seasoning on our lives.

Which is fine if it is a good form of seasoning. However, the shaker types normally have salt when you need sugar.

This doesn't not make a person happy. When you feel like crap you don't want someone making your feeling last longer.

Well some might, but not me. I prefer sugar. Unless you need to spice up some situation and it really calls for salt.

But that is the situation that calls for special handling. See the problem is that sometimes you do need those who are preservatives in a good way.

The ones with good advice. Now they are difficult to really find. Because so often the ones that toss salt do it whether or not it is needed.

What is really great is when they have both. The ability to give sugar when needed and salt when asked for.

Now that really is a rare quality. I will admit that is a big challenge to locate. I have manage to find a few.

Too many thought that are not the real thing. They are fake shakers. Yeah, they really love to pretend.

But the nice thing is that you can usually check the seasoning with a little effort. Never hurts to be careful.

As for me, well the role of Mayor is to keep all kinds of seasonings. I have salt substitutes and fake sugar.

Course I do have to make sure I always prepare the person for the offering. A few tales and words will always help the taste.

Yep, it makes it so wonderful. And you know that is the part, which really counts. I love that option.

And when I get done the person normally doesn't even notice the taste being funny. They will just assume it is them if I explain it right.

Ah and the reward is always wonderful. Can't complain about that. Not from my view. Just make it a hobby.

Under my cookbook of lies.

SUPERMAN

I sometimes wonder if life would be better if there really was a superman. Just to have somebody running around solving problems.

And to do it for free. Now maybe nobody else noticed that little detail, but I did. No where does it say he charges for his services?

And when you think of it none of the super hero types ever send a bill for there services. At least not in the movies.

Course the practical side in me says they probably do it later. And have some collection agency or lawyer send out letters.

Got to admit that is the best way to handle it. Hard for people to complain about the fee after the fact.

After all would you be inclined to gripe at somebody who saved the world? If they got upset they might unsave the world.

Plus they do have super powers so wouldn't be a good idea to piss them off in the first place. Just hope their fees are reasonable.

See now this is where my Mayor side kicks in. I can see a great opportunity to generate taxes on this.

You know tack on sales tack for the super powers fees. Then there would naturally be the fees for licenses.

One would have to regulate the super hero industry to be sure they were operating in compliance with safety regulations. And that would dictate certain inspections.

Let us not forget about also issuing a business license too. On top of the other license. Maybe even require a health permit.

Oh my, this has so many possibilities. I can only imagine the wonderful ways this would bless.

Oh yeah, I'm getting such inspiration. Just the chance to try and turn this into a reality. And I sure will love that.

Now the problem is finding a superman. Oh man I be I could sure see if I can find a good option.

Yeah there is bound to be somebody out there I can con, er, inspire to give this a shot. Well might have to toss in some medical.

Unless I can get them hypnotize into thinking they are invincible.

SUCKS

When life becomes like a vacuum cleaner it is not the most enjoyable aspect of any day. It is when things just get totally frustrating.

As if luck went on vacation and some demented evil prankster took over. Which really drives me nuts if things get this way.

And the problem is you can't control it. That is never going change either. This sucking moments just will happen no matter what.

Now there are ways to deal with them. You can lie about them. You can pretend they never happen.

Or perhaps find a way to stuff something in the vacuum. Yeah, that is my first choice. It isn't always possible though.

So that is when you have to treat this as an option of being created. To me this sucking issue is a force.

A real energy. Maybe not with a brain, but it is something that exist. So come on get creative and ways.

That sure is a better choice than sitting there and waiting for the next event. What is helpful is to plan ahead.

Not that we can always predict these holes in our resources. But we can tell where they might take place.

Which is a matter of being honest. You have to be sure that you watch the aspects of life that carry risk.

Now of course we are all imperfect, just not in the same ways. So it is really important to figure out, which are you main weaknesses.

If you let pride get in the way that is a big issue. It is such a major weakness in itself. An accident waiting to happen.

But it doesn't mean you have to like it. However, one is able to find the best way to make this easier.

Mainly through finding the most creative ways to not let the weaknesses become a risk. Find some armor.

Even if you have to steal it. That can be fun if you are dealing with some clown that is too busy looking in the mirror to know he's a clown.
Probably won't even miss it either. Not tell the vacuum comes.

SOLD FOR...

Well there are sales that place without ever being advertised. Yeah those times when there are price tags visible in eyes.

And you can tell them by the what comes out of the mouth too. There are so many ways the language speaks that special dialogue.

Like I have values, but for the right price I will do whatever you want. Yep, no need to even talk about price.

They were on sale already. And you can be sure it won't change. Except in the way they will sell out for less.

Which is a definite plus in my book. I mean the whole benefit from purchasing is that you know quantity will bring a drop in costs.

That is because the person becomes addicted. They come to crave those little tips that make life more tolerable.

And you dare to risk taking it away and it is panic time. Only they don't always admit it. They will just act like it is no big deal.

Right up to the point that you cut off their supply. And you can be sure they won't let that happen.

Js a matter of how hard they work to pretend about it. You know to act as if it is fine. Only the beads of sweat give them away.

Their lips might say no, but you can tell it isn't the truth. I love to make them uncomfortable.

And the whole time they will keep speaking in terms of being reasonable. Which never works other than a bargain basement investment.

That is when I truly love it. The joy of making sure I get their fee adjusted to the least price possible.

Then once you have got them on their needs and ready to beg, it is such a joy. A price you can afford and the happiness of victory.

Not that they will ever accept the change as bad. As long as they get their fix they are normally happy.

All and all it is a fun game. One full of excitement and entertainment. Well for me at least.

For the rest, well, no comment.

ANOTHER TALE OF NOWHERE

This can be a good thing. Providing you are talking about another that you can enjoy. Some times this is not easy.

Because if another is say another head ache it will not make you proud. It will make you pissed off.

And the one thing I have observed is so often one person will be sure they get rid of their another by giving it to you. This is not quite a choice that produces smiles.

More likely sneers. And often not even that. Depending on if we can achieve making sure we dump this off on somebody else.

How I do savor that opportunity. The chance to call it joy. And that is what we all cherish.

But you never know when this will be a time to celebrate. Not immediately at least. Some times it takes a while.

However, no problem. I always have those little options. Yes, it is always wonderful to find those options.

These are those wonderful little detours that make life worthwhile. Somewhere. And hopefully on this planet.

Which is rather important. Not necessarily critical. Just more that we have this issue of not wanting to get stuck.

We don't want to find ourselves trapped. As with a dreaded chain and ball. Those crappy times when we feel like prisoners.

An occasion when we just are not quite prepared to face the music of somebody else's piano. Nope not our choice.

This is when we have to invest ourselves with logic. To ascend the precious ladder of plotting.

Then find the place to point the finger that will do the most good. Some nice wonderful option that will avoid another headache.

Yep, got to celebrate those options. All in a day's work. Hopefully, without costing us too much in the process.

But that is the joy. Being inspired to find that right person to pass on another shaft. Yep, a true source of happiness.

Providing you can do it without getting caught.

TOO LATE

There are times in life when timing really is everything. A little detail of one second more or less and things fall apart.

How we do find out those times so easy. A chance to sit back and feel so good when you have made the right choice.

And then so rotten when you didn't. Now the one thing that often happens is that the tongue gets in the way.

Yep, this can be a big problem. Mouth in high gear, but brain in neutral. Never a good option.

But that is okay when we can make up for it later. When we can go back with some eraser and undo the mess.

Well it is wonderful when we can. But there are times when that won't work. Because that is part of the problem.

Brains have this ledger. We scribble every word heard. And then we make sure we don't forget the wrong ones.

But that is all part of the joy. Being able to play that game and know it is a game. Some never do play it that well.

They will sit back and decide to just bide their time and not let it become a dialogue of, "hey wait a minute." Instead they take it to a different level.

Which is to say they will find a way to inflict some harm on others. Sort of a domino affect.

And what a marvelous effect it can be. Not always in a good way, but one that does come about just the same.

Which is why it is so important to savor those wonderful times when it all works out right. The OOPs don't leave permanent scars.

Ah you got to love those options. I know I do. Well sometimes. But that is okay. I do enjoy the parts where I can fix somebody else's mess ups.

Sort of makes up for my own. Sometimes. Not all the times, but sometimes. I keep score you understand.

I have a nice list at home where I keep tract of it all. Well can't say it always is fun. Sometimes it really is embarrassing.

But I don't tell others.

WISDOM

There is a lot that wisdom is not. It is not the absence of mistakes. Nope, that is not quite the definition.

It isn't when you luck out and do something right by accident either. Even though you might prefer to claim it was on purpose.

Now that might be creative, but it isn't quite factual. And you can be sure that doesn't make it a good thing.

But I guess that is an okay thing. Might help you get through the day, but won't change the fact that you can't duplicate the process.

And that is where real wisdom prevails. Part of it is truth. The capacity to be honest about whatever.

Which is where one has to draw the line. At least I do. Mainly because I find it necessary to move in a direction that really counts.

Now some might call that enlightenment. I call it the part that is where you look in the mirror and say, yep, that is me.

But for the simple purpose of knowing who you really are. And that my friends is the best wisdom you can have.

Where you are able to at least sit down and accept being less than perfect. Not for the purposes of accepting it, but for the purpose of figuring out best way to lie about it.

Yeah I said lie about it. Which is the real wisdom you can have. Just the ability to find a way to make it all work the way you need it too.

And that will be the part that really counts. A chance to plan a nice strategy for future screw ups.

Yeah, you really need that. A way to wade through all the crap and figure a means to still look good.

See it really isn't about being perfect. It is about finding ways to look like you are. Then you can truly savor the day.

It is part of the way things are truly gained in understanding. A chance to find the little corner of the world you can feel happy with whatever doesn't work.

And if you do that then all will have a smile. Maybe not the kind some will think is good. But one that really feels good.

I can live with that part.

OUTSTANDING

I know this should be a terrific word. A wonderful image always comes to mind with this one.

The idea of something that goes beyond normal. That is other than average. A joy that truly excels.

Perception is the problem. An issue of what you define as outstanding. And that is never the same for two people.

So if you are say on a deserted island a coconut for a banquet might be looked at as outstanding. But not in the big city.

So that is again a matter of how you view it. And you don't have to be on a deserted island to view a coconut as an outstanding.

I have known a few who would have put a coconut in that category. I would hardly be happy to spend time with them though.

However in my city such little details often end up taking place with no problem. We have a surplus of outstanding deficiency minds.

Which does have its good and bad points. On the plus side it means people are easy to please.

They can be made content with a dull form of outstanding. Heck, they may even take time to thank you for it.

And this simply gives me a certain latitude in terms of what I have to accomplish. Yep, that is a great option.

The down side is for the few who really have standards, it is a problem. For they won't be satisfied with crumbs.

You really have to work hard in order to please them. Which can be such a pain. Because they will not be the kind to accept any old lie.

Now what I do is to be sure that I take time to feel the person out. To make sure that I don't let them force me into some commitment I don't want to make.

And that is all part of the game. Which is where I try to get the people with low outstanding together with the ones that have high demands.

Then you try to get them to both meet in the middle somewhere. Never an easy task, but I'm happy when it works.

Course I lie about when it doesn't.

WONDERFUL

Now like excellent nobody hears this word and expects something bad. That would never do.

But there are times when the word is used indirectly. A form of complaint. One of those things we say when we are expressing unhappiness over some dismal situation.

Otherwise wonderful can be well, wonderful. A time of blessing if we work it right. Some do and some do not.

Just hard to always say for sure when you can count on it. I wish it was all the time. Just never works out that way.

So we do our best to try and gleam when it is possible. Which may be on occasions if we allow ourselves the freedom to explore that options.

This is where you have to be creative. And some will never quite get excited on that part.

Ah that is what doesn't quite work for a few. Okay so the thou shalt not types are sort of out of luck.

For they have this nice box they live in and you can't get them to use any scissors. Too risky, they might enjoy it.

And who needs that? Not those people. Well you can count on them to not consider that option.

It would mean they could actually enjoy life. And that would be terrible. So truly horrible.

Why it could lead to a serious infection of happiness. Who needs that? How awful such a risk would be.

So for the sake of such people you can let them be exposed to such options. They will only love wonderful if it is miserable.

And let me tell you that is not a thing that appeals to some of the rest of us. I don't personally want any artificial wonderful.

You can save that for those who are pleasure diabetics. They can have their simple diets of smiles.

Meanwhile the rest of us will got the buffet. Sample freely on any snack that is there. And whatever season or condiment comes with it.

There are so many good ones hard to pick just one though. So I'll have them all.

EXCELLENT

Do we need a definition on the meaning of this word? I can't imagine we need to. I think we all understand it.

At least to the point that when the word is mention we can get excited. For regardless of what else we disagree with excellent we all know doesn't mean crap.

So at the very least we expect something good. And I think we all appreciate how that is important.

In fact just adding the word to an object can improve it in the mind of most. Now it might not really be excellent, but we thing of it differently.

So I do my best to weave it into conversations when I can. Which does certainly helps with some people's attitudes.

And you better believe with certain individuals a lie about excellent can be truly necessary. They just need the nudge.

Now maybe some don't think this is a good approach. But isn't excellent truly a matter of perception?

And if somebody suggests or makes it clear that things are excellent people are more prone to agree. A few extra words can make all the difference.

Providing they are the right words. You can't be obvious about the lies. They do have to be believable.

And naturally you do have to look sincere. Faking it won't cut it. Nope that will not make it work.

So part of this is making sure you can act really great. Otherwise if you don't have a history of being thought of as sincere it won't work.

And I am grateful that I have mastered that option. Truly feels so good. I can paint those words just right.

Then comes time to sit back and admire my artwork. This is when I see person who truly loves what I did.

And the nice thing is if it is crap all the better. Now that is real skill. Got to love it. I know I do.

But that is all part of the joy of making this work. I have done it so many times it is excellent itself.

Can't stop wanting that joy. As long as somebody buys it.

HAVING FUN YET?

I think I could ask most people this question and the answer would be no. They might answer yes on some occasions, but not all the time.

The main thing to me is that we don't ask because we aren't expecting things to be fun. Oh we might no admit it, but the truth is our anticipation is not in the amusement park.

Instead we sort of accept options. You know a little grief to go along with the boredom. Yep, all in a day's work.

And let me tell you paychecks without smiles are hardly paydays. That really does take the fun out of it.

Just a detour that really we do because we have no choice. Oh we do prefer to not say it that way.

Sounds too depressing. Just takes away from our joy. And that never gives much reason to smile.

So I am here to offer, humbly, a few suggestions on ways to improve this situation. Just a little chance to you know find that fun.

First of all, distraction helps. A chance to think in terms that are no boring. Those little moments when we can drift away from the yawns.

Maybe we don't quite have the time or inclination to make it all work the way we want. But we an fun imagining it that way

What we do is give others the opinion we are enjoying ourselves. Now that really makes a difference.

It is half the fun. Just to be able to sit back with that smug, I'm enjoying myself look. It drives others nuts.

Now, that is entertainment! And it really does make things go easier. Hardly perfect. That takes really creativity.

But if you can work it out then great. Just another smile you can invent to make the world believe you are enjoying it.

Sure does make me happy to do that. For that I find myself being grateful. Just for the opportunity to enjoy a few moments on this terrace of deception.

It is a nice stroll when you can take it. And so much better when others think you are enjoying it when they are not.

Always a thrill. For me at least.

NUTRITIOUS

I guess I am on some special food kick for the moment. And even though I do enjoy food as much as the next person, it is well a rather bland subject.

I'm not saying it can't be tasty. And that can be fun. But part of the fun is the ability to add it in with something else.

Sort of a reward for celebrating an achievement. Now that makes it really worth the effort.

Providing you can work it so the other person sees it that way. And this can't be a meal that involves the word nutritious.

It might just be me, but honestly, that word I think gets associated with things that takes like crap. Not my rule.

Kind of like taxes. In theory they are good for us. Because the money goes to pay for things we all need.

Just hard to remember that and get excited about it when you see it come out of your paycheck. You don't feel like saying thanks.

So thus too is the issue of nutrition. It is good for you, but often doesn't seem to offer a tasty option.

Maybe you tolerate it out of sense of guilt. Yeah, some moment when you fear an early death.

So you end up stuffing you face with all things nutritious. And you feel great for about ten minutes.

Then the sugar demons pay a visit and you are in big trouble. An hour later you have chocolate breath and no where to hide.

Which definitely is not a good option if you have been lying about eating healthy. Nostrils know better.

So I'm working here on the approach of being reasonable. Of adding some creativity so this whole nutrition issue remains a smile.

It isn't that hard. A nice beer and wheat germ shake has possibilities. It might not say inspire some in terms of nutrition, but you probably won't care.

See, didn't that go down easy? Okay, don't answer that. It will be our little secret. And as long as you have some vitamin greenbacks I will remember.

So let's all have a party and celebrate!

FIBER

This is supposed to be good for you. They say so at least. But not sure it applies the way they expect.

Oh if you are talking food the perhaps. But beyond that I can say for sure. Well maybe it is more I don't want to.

I'm speaking of that fun thing called moral fiber. Somehow this is suppose to be the core of who you are.

A special foundation that assures you will act with ethical bread when dealing with others, but it doesn't happen. I mean not from what I've seen.

But that is okay. I mean not from what I have seen. Oh I see the ones that talk about it, but not actually have it.

Which is not what quite what I find when I go shopping for bread. See I want to make sandwiches.

Those nice tasty means you make from slice so lust's loaf. Oh yeah they are so easy to find.

Only nobody wants to admit the bread is found so easy. We are supposed to have a taste for them, but say no.

But the problem is that nobody quite thinks that way. Nope that doesn't work in terms of reality.

Sort of like going to the morality bakery to get some ethical wheat germ. That way we can boast about it to others.

Show them how much we practice good moral health. And then you know afterwards to be sure that we have the illusion we want that.

Meanwhile, when nobody is looking we sneak off for a pack of cupcakes. Yeah the nice tasty ones that make you so happy.

But the problem is you have to be sure you don't let others know. You can't afford to get caught with icing on your face.

Otherwise it ruins the illusion. And nobody wants that. So you have to fake it. Or lie about it or both.

Which is all because you don't want to admit you really don't like wheat germ and love cupcakes. Ah it is such a fun game.

It is for me at least. Others, I just smile when they miss the icing on their face.

PLEADING THE FIFTH

Well, I know the connotation with this. You have something to hide and this is a way to keep from admitting it.

So even if you aren't really guilty. It doesn't matter. Because you are assumed to be so by others.

Now the thing is there might be plenty of reason to take the fifth other than fear of being found out you are guilty. Sometimes it is fear of embarrassment.

I mean if you are say truly in need of preserving you reputation and don't want to be thought of as stupid then you may not want some facts known. So it is like, no way, I'm not spilling my guts.

It is a very essential detail to not forget. And actually it has worked to my favor in many situations.

Because when I con somebody and then set them up to take a fall, they will not likely want to admit to anyone they were stupid. That adds to their pain.

So instead they will normally avoid answer any details. You just have to be sure they can't prove you were responsible.

Now it does take the pride out of the situation. Means no boasting rights. That can be hard when cons are something you consider to be artwork.

And you naturally want to be able to boast on the issue. But if you do then everyone finds out you were the author.

And that never ends up being a good thing. You just end up having to be content with the victory.

Which is the best part. Providing your ego can handle it. Then you just suddenly find yourself in a position of wishing.

And that is where you really have to be careful. Because if you get tired of just savoring your victory then you might give in to the urge for more.

But that does work for me. For I am not one who savors pain. And I definitely don't have any plans on that option.

Seen a few who have. Oh my are they are so giddy over their success. So they lose sight of the danger.

But then later when the judge reads their sentence, well it isn't time for celebration. Ah, well I do smile at the lessons some times.

ANOTHER TALE OF NOWHERE

Ah the succulent servings of hope. The maps for the mind that tell you how to get to some perfect place.

Most are fantasies naturally. Pure products of imagination. Nothing that will likely lead to happiness, but sure sounds great.

Some might take issue I suppose with the merits of these stories. And I couldn't blame them.

However, this is a quest in life. To find rainbows somewhere. Even if there are no clouds and it hasn't rained in years, we want our rainbows.

So naturally this become part of my job. And so many others too. We peddle the places we want to belief are real.

Okay so there is no Eden any more. And well heaven is out there, but last time I check it wasn't on any map you could buy.

So that means inventing ones we hope will work. Finding plenty of fairy tales with happy endings to offer.

And you definitely can't forget the happy endings. Yep, that is very important. Nobody wants ice cream and to be told one bite will kill you.

Nope, not on the list of options here. People will not accept that option. They will complain, get upset and do other than smile about it.

So it becomes necessary and essential for somebody to take the time to make this happen. And who better than a politician?

Oh perhaps a car salesman or lawyer can fit in there two , but what the heck what fun would life be otherwise? Did I hear some rambling about the truth?

Okay who is the weird one? There is always one in the bunch. Some nut who thinks honesty is important.

Where do these clowns come from? I sure didn't get them any pointers. And let me ask you since when is the truth fun?

Come on let's be fair about this, the truth can really bite at times. Be downright boring ro painful.

Which is not a good option if you are wanting to sell paradise. Well maybe not a real paradise, but a sort of one.
It all comes down to if you want happiness with lies or misery with truth. I thought so.

FAIR AND NARROW

The places of life where life is beautiful and happy. But with a price take of wholesomeness.

I know that ought to be a good thing, but honestly, I feel cheated. I mean wholesome is okay, like milk.

It is good for you, however I do cringe at the idea of how it deprives me of the thrill of the forbidden. Really, I'm so connected to the idea of pleasure being something you have to savor in secret, it just takes all the joy out of it when it comes to easy.

I admit that might sound weird. But then what can I say? I do have a need to party when I don't have to do it to bland music.

Not saying that wholesome is bad. I have indulged in it at times. Such as when we have our Founder's Day picnics.

Lots of good foods. Plenty of the type of games for kids and families. Everyone able to kick back and try to enjoy life.

But then I get distracted. Yep, what can I say, I start seeing all those ladies in their shorts and my mind drifts to thoughts of more than food.

Then naturally they have those games where the body starts moving in connection with the event and it really inspires me. Man, I just can't win.

I do try though. Honestly, I have done my best to force feed myself burgers and potato salad to get my mind off of the obvious.

However, it just doesn't work. And I will tell you that is not the kind of option that I want to put up with.

So I do my best to smile and keep all my thoughts humming towards thinking of anything that will not make me want something other than a picnic. I know it is silly perhaps, but what can I say, I do the best to smile anyway.

Oh well one has to mosey along. And thank goodness after wholesome I am able to retreat to my other ideas of fun.

But you know, I am glad I suppose that I do that in ways that will keep me out of trouble. Just a little Rash safety tip.

Yep, I have learned that the one thing I don't want to do is risk getting the wrong urges when the ladies are with their husbands. Especially if by chance the hubby has been having some beers.

That can lead a kind of sport that involves a knock out.

YES SIR

Ah such a great music to my ears. Such a blessing when the person means it. You can be sure some don't.

They know who to say them, just don't mean them in any way. So instead they say it for the purpose of gaining your trust.

However, they don't really plan on actually doing anything that such respect might inspire. It is like hey, you are in charge, I will salute you, but..

Oh yeah that is such a great joy. You are so comfortable with them and decide this is a future lackey of my dreams.

Unfortunately, they never quite live up to that expectation. Oh they will definitely manage to disappoint.

Yeah that is such a thrill. I love it. Well actually, I hate it, but you know love to say I love it.

Sort of like going to the dentist. Yep, that is a joy also. And even more so when they need to so some creative dental work.

I don't know, it would be wonderful if some things were more black and white. You know ended up actually being what they claimed to be.

However, in a way I guess that isn't quite a joy if it stays that way. Could be so boring. So instead I suppose that it is more fun to turn this into a game.

Yep, I will love to call it a guessing game. Just figure out how much you can savor the moment.

Basically to be sure you can figure out in advance who is the really gopher from a fake one. Now that is important.

Can't afford to pass up those occasions. Winning earns you a faithful employee. Losing a chance to be embarrassed or betrayed.

Ah the opportunity to truly know the meaning of stress in such a glorious way. The tension can be so exquisite.

Well maybe not for everyone. But it sure was for me. And I guess I do try my best to look at it that way.

Since the other option is dining constantly on paranoia. Not quite my idea of the perfect snack.

And hope to keep it that way.