GOOD AND EMPTY

Might not seem like these two go together, but then I do pride myself on being able to see the possibilities in so many things that are unique. My take on this is feeling good when you have emptied another's pocketbook.

My ideal situation is when I succeed in first feeling good because I comforted some lady in a way that makes us both feel good. I have had to do my part to be careful that I don't make too many heated promises in the midst of some rather very intense comforting though.

I learned that too many of the ladies just could remember them even when I couldn't. The fun part is later, figuring out a way to pass on the cost to their husbands. After all if they were going their jobs, I wouldn't have to work so hard at comforting.

That only seems fair to me. And I am very happy when it in some way leaves them with an empty wallet and me with a full goodness on so many levels.

Which makes it all such a blessing. I call that the good life. Not that such is without a price. I just love getting to pass it on to others.

All of that can be so complicated at times. Just a hard routine to keep straight in my head.

To that end I am grateful I have a computer. It is so much easier to keep things organize with its help.

Providing I remember to hide the details where nobody else can read them. Made that mistake once and that was enough.

Let me tell you, leaving my computer file open when one of the ladies I had comforted came by my office unexpectedly. And my secretary let her into my office to wait while I was in the bathroom.

I can't say I was happy with her reaction when she saw my file. Oh, I know, she did handle seeing where I had comforted two of her neighbor ladies. And her son's teacher.

Those didn't seem to bother her too much. It was when she came across her mother's name that she got rather annoyed.

I was grateful she didn't get to see her daughter's name on the list. That could have really been embarrassing.

However, it is the little things that makes a person feel good. It all worked out for my good. At least based on my interpretation. That is the no harm, no foul rule.

Works miracles in such moments. And I have plenty of them.

SUPPLE

Ah, such a joy this is. I appreciate the more traditional idea related to this word. But then it really does go well with other things.

Supple to me means something that is ample, but in a very provocative way. You know that one can tell will really bring pleasure and you get excited about it.

Only to be honest, I'm not talking about the obvious. I'm speaking of things like one's wallet.

Bet you never expected that one. But it really does apply. Just think who couldn't get excited over the idea of a wallet bulging with cash.

Now if it happens to belong to somebody else and you are holding it even better. Then you don't mind spending it since you aren't going to lose anything.

That is one sweet option. And let me tell you that sure works for me. I practice it all the time.

It is called taxes. Bingo now you know where I'm going don't you. Oh yes that is exciting.

Course the big issue with that is you know making sure that you get this taken care of without you know, having to fork all the gain in expenses. Which can be tricky.

Because you know the people have a tendency to expect you to do something for them when you are collecting new taxes. That is weird huh?

And so often they won't take you word for it. They expect reports and accountability. Isn't that terrible?

Honestly it just sucks big time from my view. It is bad enough that I have to invent some excuse for sucking the tax payers dry just to cover up my graft, but then I have to also make sure I have a lie to make it all seem correct and justified.

I really hate that part. For me that really is such a pain. And it can be so exhausting, but that is so necessary I guess.

And if the whole stroke job works right then it is so supple to my life. Which is really great.

I just savor the moment and truly am filled joy form such efforts. Alas it doesn't happen all the time.

Wish it did, but even I have limitations to my moments of pure creativity in terms of making up crap.

SAVE IT FOR LATER

Aw, now this is fun concept. Appealing to people's sense of feeling they are in control of their lives.

So much so that they can afford to think in terms of the future. And to be sure they always feel good that this is possible.

Now in reality that doesn't happen that much. Most of it from my view is basically dumb luck.

Oh I'm not saying that they don't need to prepare. That is very helpful to plan things. But so often it seems plans never work out the way we expect.

So we end up with the joy of you know imagining that will be the case. Not that it works in the long run, but it does give us a certain sense of joy.

In any event I do savor how life moves on. How we can find those little nudges of inspiration to give life a smile.

Which naturally gives us all hope. And you can never have enough of that in life. So to me anything one can do in order to inspire such hope is a good thing.

Now the hitch for me resides in not doing this myself. Oh yeah that is the challenge. I have to be a model. But nobody says I can't be made out of clay.

Oh I will sing the praises of saving for a rainy day. But the whole time I will be out acting like it will never rain.

And I even will have my umbrella somewhere. Not sure where, I never seem to be able to remember that part.

Which is okay because that is not a problem. See I just will borrow your savings to buy one when the time comes.

Oh I will leave an IOU, signed by somebody else. So you feel better about being ripped off.

Still that doesn't mean it will translate into you ever getting your money back. However, I will be sure to you know drape you in the lies so you won't get upset.

Oh you will end up broke. For I will have squandered every penny, but wasn't it great how proud you felt over your diligence?

Now that is such a wonderful feeling. Why ruin with any concern that it wasn't the reality in terms of what I did with you money. I will include a postcard from my vacation or maybe a calendar so it won't be a complete loss.

DETAILS

DETAILS

Oh yes, there is nothing more joyous that having plenty of details. And it doesn't even matter if they are true, just that you have lots of them.

That way you can impress people with your knowledge. Toss in a few special big words and if you confuse enough people to the point they won't know it is all crap.

And that is worth a great deal if you are trying to convince people you are trustworthy when you are not. There is something extra impressive when you just seem to know a great deal of information.

It inspires confidence. Makes people feel you are wise and able to take care of every problem.

Now the best part is that might be all bogus. You might actually not have a clue about reality at all.

But they don't need to know that. It is only important you I know it. And to be sure they don't find out in the process.

Harmony is the key here. A chance to inspire balance and peace in another person. Which naturally sounds really great.

It has a nice twinge of nobility to it. This doesn't mean it is noble, just has that feel to it. And that is so important.

At least if you are interested in promoting smiles instead of sneers. Because it will make you feel good about lying.

Now the tricky part is being able to pull this off without anyone ever actually deciding you are a fake. This really will make the difference between a good detail con and a failure.

Sometimes I just am so thrilled with this option. Just a chance to wow somebody with you smarts.

Naturally the smartest part is that you have the joy of creating such a wonderful fantasy. It just leaves one feeling so happy.

And if I really work it right then they never suspect I made everything up. This is the area of what I consider a work of art.

Which is for me something I can savor. Being an artist does sound so much better than being a creep.

At least it sounds good to me.

OKAY AND THEN SOME

Oh yeah, this is very important. When things are good and go beyond one's expectations. That is always a joy.

Only it never happens quite the way we want. Or at the times we wish. But when it does happen that is such a blessing.

Yep, I would vote for this any time I could get it. I don't get it whenever I seek it. However, I do work on it.

And to that end I am always grateful when the moments come that give me such reason to celebrate. They may not come when I wish, still the do come once an a while.

I suppose some might wonder why I should even attempt to discuss this at all. Well because I have found that my view on such things can be a service to others.

Okay, I took a poll and it was exactly how I figured it would turn out. When I asked if people enjoyed reading my slant on life, the majority said yes.

And for the three employees that work for me who took the poll, I thank you. Those raises I promised will be coming soon enough. Maybe not quite when I said, but sooner than never. However I won't say exactly when.

Anyway, I am grateful that I was able to arrange to bring this reality to the benefit of others. That will always give me reason to feel good.

Perhaps in the process that will make for some nice reading too. I can hope that will end up being the case.

The problem is being sure you find the right people to embrace this gold. Some you know are just not ready for the experience.

Alas this is a tragedy, but we do what we can in any case. So that works out to be a nice detour from reality.

Sure why shouldn't it? After all any excuse to avoid reality is a good one. And I can always manage my share.

Which is so nice in these situations. Since once you move pass the need for facts, everything works so much better.

Then you can have these little special moments more often. And all will benefit. Perhaps they won't appreciate it right away, but I'm sure they will eventually.

Just a matter of inspiring them to appreciate the need for being creative. That is always such a great way to interpret it.

ANOTHER SLICE

ANOTHER SLICE

Well who can complain about another slice? I guess it would depend on and what kind of slice you were talking about.

For example, if you are talking about a slice of pizza now that is good. Or say a slice of bread that is good too.

But then we are talking food and that always seems to be a fair and tasty. However, there are other types of slices that can make you drool too.

Like a slice of bribery pie. Oh come on would you expect me to say otherwise? I mean really.

Which is probably what happens with some people. They would never ever think of a bribe as tasty.

So they go hungry. Yeah, that is what happens. They end up going without some important nutrients.

At least from my point of view. Because after all is life just a message in your brain telling you to stop?

Hmmm, gee that sounds clever doesn't it? I will have to remember to write that down somewhere.

Just not sure where. Maybe in my file I can access when times require. I need to be sure I don't loose any of these gems.

They are so helpful on so many occasions. A little slice of literary gold to be cashed in when an emergency occurs.

And there are plenty of them around. You can be sure of that. We never lack for the joy of a crisis.

I wish I did. It would be wonderful if we did, but we never do. So that means I need these little detours to help with the process.

But that is okay for I take such joy in the process of seeing the times this all aids me in the process of getting a slice. That part I haven't forgotten about.

So for now I will have to be content to just savor the hope to enjoy the option of when I can get my slice that I want. It's not heaven, but a nice dessert.

Which is the part I will remember. And along the way I might even find a few recruits for the war on poverty. The one where we shoot the wounded and steal them blind. Yeah so touching huh?

LUSTER

LUSTER

What can be more blessed than a shine in the eyes from some bauble of greed? Yes, that is what I said, a bauble of greed.

Now some might not want to view it that way, but I ask you would you be all drawn to something that didn't make you drool? Come on tell me that isn't important. Well go ahead if you dare.

I thought so. Yeah, that is the way it is folks. Just sit back and be proud of the fact. I know I am.

Which I hardly think is a bad thing. Because what is wrong with that? From my view there is nothing wrong with wanting good crap.

Now if you want bad crap that is a different matter. Known a few people like that in my day.

Honestly, that is so sad. What we need to do is help such unfortunate souls. They really are so tragic.

Which is what I try to make as an effort on my part to help these poor souls. Such people truly have a deficiency in their capacity for happiness.

So I looked upon such unfortunate souls as those with a need for help. And I will definitely do what I can to guide them towards the light.

That is the light shining on a display case full of trophies. Oh yeah that is so important. show some people just need that extra nudge and then they are fine.

Which is the joy I get any time I can't help anyone cross over the bridge from stupidity to pure avarice. Sort of warms me all over.

And along the way I'm so thrilled to help a few souls discover how luster truly does enhance their lives. Which makes it all so worthwhile in the long run.

At least I hope it does. From my point of view that is the difference between being happy and being dumb.

Okay, maybe that is my official definition, but it does seem to apply. And that is what counts the most.

They do so find success in the process. And naturally I get to charge a nice commission on their labors.

Which makes it even more satisfying. That is the part that I find most satisfying. A chance to savor helping people become what they used to think was corruption.

GONE FOR NOW

There is nothing more frustrating for me at times that dealing with people that piss you off and won't go away. Oh they promise to leave. But they never quite do.

Not that you honestly expect they will. For such pests never truly disappear. They just sort of fade for a while and then find another time to come back.

Most likely when you are extremely busy and need to talk to them the least. Yep, that is the joy of such folks.

Oh as a Mayor I do have to invest in lots of lives. Some are er, more entertaining than others.

So you do what you can to figure a way to not spend too much time with them. Meetings always are a nice option.

Only you can't stay in meetings forever. I have tried and it doesn't work. Learned that the hard way when I ended up trapped in this men's room while people waiting outside the council chambers thinking I was inside. God that was a nightmare.

Well live and learn as they say and man did I learn from that one. Which has helped me to appreciate the need to also never be without an extra roll of toilet paper. But that is another story.

In any case I have come to understand the meeting option is not always the best one. Well not in all cases. Does work in some.

Still I do have to work on some alternatives. Mainly this involves two forms of thought. One is making a first lie approach that gives them the place you have to go that makes sense.

As a Mayor I do find lots of places like that. You know schools, churches, charity fund raisers. Lots of options that people accept.

In the meantime while they see you riding off into the sunset of nobility, you are really heading off to some truly cool place. A kind of locale that truly inspires you to smile.

Only it has to be a location where they won't show up. Which means a place out of town possibly.

As long as they can't or don't follow you. That can be very embarrassing at times. And that is part of what is all an approach I have taken to ensure I escape the boomerang people.

It isn't always easy, but I do the best I can. Which if it leads to a smile, then I'm happy and if I do it without that person, even better.

UNDER TOMORROW

This is for me a category for achievement. It is so much fun because you get to officially put things off for a given time.

Boy do I need that option at times. Let me tell you it truly is critical. And I truly do savor when I can do that.

It doesn't happen enough I'm afraid. At least not enough that I can take pleasure in the cavalcade of precious reality being swayed into a vice grip where squeeze out any life from a dream.

Whew! That sounds great. I have no idea what it means. But it sounded great. Perhaps I'll make it the joy it should be.

You know write it down somewhere and figure a way to turn it into a law. Oh now that would truly make me happy.

But alas I doubt that will happen. I imagine it will never become reality. Not in the way I would enjoy.

That is a pity don't you think? I do. I want my dreams in terms of putting things off to become the light of tomorrow.

Gosh that sounds so great. Man I think I'm going to have to work on figuring a way to use those gems.

There has to be a speech or some other place I can use them. Not sure where yet. Such gold just can't shine in any old place.

It takes a special opportunity. But the great part is that I can find one eventually. Shoot I'll invent one if needed.

Yeah that is half the fun at times. Well it is for me. Just turning the future into a myth that you can make drool about works for me.

And you can believe that is a great deal. Oh yeah, I love talking about what hasn't happen yet.

Really is such a fun way to spend the time. I savor it so much. Just thrills me to be able to shine a little hope in other people's directions.

Oh yeah now that is the best part. You just get to sit back and make people have a reason to smile.

Now the real fun of all of this is when you end up you know reaching that moment when tomorrow does come. Then you have to be sure you are you know ready to come back with another version of tomorrow. That really kills them.

SOLUTIONS MADE GREASY

Perfect ways to deal with disappointment. There is just something so helpful when you can reduce a problem down to a nice tasty donut.

Yeah, I said donut. Not that it is the solution to all life's problems. But sometimes it does provide a nice alternative to no answers at all.

Which is my point, there are occasions when you just have to be willing to accept the obvious. We sometimes get so caught up thinking in terms of other options, we don't accept the simple answers.

Which is of course so important to ever embrace. Always making sure you can say yes to crap as a way to forget the other kinds of crap.

So as a means to needing a smile instead of a scream it is a good thing. Well at least that is how I look at it.

Admittedly it is a shallow and less than profound alternative. I don't want to pretend it is otherwise.

But it still works. And that is what ought to count. Only it doesn't seem to be that way for all of the world.

Why is it this is considered as bad? Okay, I do admit the health issue can be a concern. So why not alter the mix a little?

I mean make is a good greasy. Some nutritious option that you have put a nice tasty twist upon for the heck of it.

Yeah, you can go that way if you want. Avoid the forbidden if you want. I don't mind. As for me, I want to party the good way.

Now am I claiming this will solve all your problems? Not at all. Just that it is a good option to consider.

So go ahead and love doing the fun stuff once and a while. Yeah, go for it and you will all be better for it.

Now if for some reason this doesn't work for you just let me know. I'll be glad to fill in for you.

I never have a problem making sure I will have a good time for you. And my prices are reasonable too.

We can work in the price list. It is negotiable, but I'm sure we can come to some reasonable figure providing you are open minded about the concept of legal.

NOBLE

NOBLE

A wonderful comment. So ideal and thoughtful to imagine. Not very realistic to achieve though.

That is the hard part. Being able to bridge the gap in a good way. That is the part that we all have to work on.

Sounds great in theory. Can't say it works that way in reality. Though I do wish it were so.

But that is part of the joy we call our insanity. This process where we honestly take the time to focus on the need to think in terms of hope.

Which is how I view the word noble. It is the place were good things are suppose to happen.

Only since our desires get in the way, there is the problem that it will not quite live up to our expectations.

Wish it was otherwise. But it never is. Only I have the dreams it can be different. Just not the means to achieve it.

It is part of the way I see we need to find more of a means to work in the right direction. know I'm ready.

I just have to figure a way to make everyone else feel the same. Such is the nature of life. What a wonderful term.

I love that phrase, the nature of life. It sounds so wonderful. It might be even better if we didn't get lost in the process.

But that does happen way too often. Only we do find ways of improving if we can. To search for a method to say things will be noble.

All of this is such a nice option when we seek to make it as such. And perhaps that will be the joy we seek.

So far I haven't seen that to be the case. But it doesn't me that we can't hope. And perhaps we can really even reach it.

Not sure in this life time though. Just keep hoping that is all. Meanwhile, I work on tring to come close to noble.

That is where you don't screw up as much. Haven't quite found it to be the big solution some might prefer.

Just the one we hope will be true some times.

OH SO TASTY

Ah, the flavor of victory. It is even more yummy when it has been sweeten by cheating or deceit.

You can forget all that silliness about being fair and how cheaters never prosper. That as told by some idiots who have no clue about reality.

They pretty much suck at everything anyway. So they have to whine about being fair. An you can forgot that stuff about how you play the game mattering.

It only matters when you win. Sorry, but you can follow the rules and do all the right things, but it is the one who wins that will be remembered.

Which is the way it should be. At least according to the Limburger guide to successful playing.

I only wish I could share this wonderful philosophy with the world in a way that got some good results. But always seems to be difficult to accomplish at times.

I'm still convinced it is a good choice. Just hard to get everyone to agree. There are just too many for whom lack the openness to such experiences.

Now for those of more enlighten thinking there is a difference. I can let them savor the blessings I have to offer.

Which I gladly share for the right fee. You can be sure too that for the right person this will be a real joy.

Providing you manage to get the right mind set on the part of those will to be so inclined. I have been trying to find the perfect crew to enforce this option.

That isn't always easy, but I know they are willing when properly inspired. And if you do get a chance to savor finding the perfect minds to accept this snack all the better.

A little candy for the soul truly works. Only problem is that you have to be sure it is the right kind.

Pick a kind that affects the conscience and you are really screwed. I tell you that is not a good thing.

So you have to serve up the right flavor and to the right person. Then all is well. Not mentally, but otherwise.

Which is another form of success that you don't always get to savor. That is the part that I look forward to.

Not that I can tell the happy law abiding people, but who cares about them?

THIS GLUE

Ah the joy of glue. Yeah, I love the stuff. A nice little dab can fix so many problems in life.

It is not a cure all for every problem in life. That would be great if it was. But naturally we don't get that option.

Otherwise we could fix everything in life and would. That would truly be a wonderful option.

Then we would have the problem of giving priority to what would we decide to glue. There would no doubt have to be regulations too.

And you can't have regulations without inspectors. Oh my, that would never do. So then you have the added problem of new government help and obviously you need new taxes to pay for it.

Then if you have new taxes you need the added blessing of new government departments. One just can add something like taxes and not have people to watch over it.

And all of that joy taking place just to enjoy using a little glue. My, my that would never be all that much fun.

But we do need to watch out for the public's welfare. We all understand how important that is.

Now you see why I'm making an issue of this? You need that kind of reality when searching for solutions.

There are all kinds of quick fix glue options. It is just they don't all work as needed or intended.

And there is a difference between using some solution that makes life work better from one that requires silly options. Glue is great. It is a wonderful gift when you remember it is just glue and not heaven.

So if you keep it in perspective great. And it is amazing how many don't. Might seem strange when you are talking about something like glue, but then that is where such things start.

Before you know it you apply the same philosophy to many things in life. And that is never the perfect solution.

But life for me will always enjoy having some glue. Just for fixing small stuff. Not life itself. That is a nice option from my view. And I plan on keeping it that way. You can glue whatever you want.

ALL GONE

ALL GONE

Ah the joy of things that you don't have to worry about again. It is such a blessing. And who can dream of a better time that when a problem vanishes?

But then you never can say for sure when this will happen. That is the downside. Which is part of the detail that makes it less than a joy to look forward to.

So you dream. You end up settling for the joy of imagining. Sometimes this is a blessing, others it is not.

For me though I do savor when I can call this other than a fantasy. For it truly does give you a reason to smile.

Just never happens in the times you desire. So you have to wish for it more than experience it.

But that is okay, I do manage to find plenty of time for such activities. And why not? Regular live can be so boring if all you do is expect the usual.

So much more fun to find times for such distractions. It is all the joy that makes you have a reason to keep plotting for times when you can make this happen.

It is a joy I have to admit when I find time to pursue such activities. But that is part of what makes it all something you can justify as worthwhile adventures for the mind.

Which naturally is all a waste of time in the view of some. Not to me. For I'm in favor of anything that makes life have more smiles.

Might seem like I'm focused only on the smile thing. Honestly though isn't that a reality for some of us.

Meanwhile for the rest of the world life goes on. It floats along in pretty much the same current of thought.

I don't make the rules in that regard. I do admit that I have found myself working so hard on finding new ways to make this happen. Just don't find much success in that regard.

Still it is a joy when you can succeed at finding the precious times when misery evaporates. When you can enjoy the wonderful moment when the relief comes it makes up for all the pain when dullness rules.

You just can't buy that kind of happiness. It makes you so darned thrilled. Well it does for me.

And that is what counts. Can't say it does for everyone. But it does in my situation. And that is enough to make it all satisfying.

EXTREMES

Now in reality you do have to ponder if this is a good thing. I feel it is. Maybe not when it turns brutal, but otherwise it is great.

Providing the extreme gives you smiles. Otherwise it can be painful. Depending on the nature of the extreme.

Personally I like extremes related to pleasure. Yeah those really make me smile. And they are seldom painful.

Okay there are times when they can be painful the next day. I got to accept that partying all night does have its drawbacks.

But then these days my idea of partying all night isn't quite the same as it was then. As when I was in college.

I have to allow for age as this point. Yeah the ladies I get to be with these days just aren't always as ready to rise to the moment as often.

But I do manage to find a way to survive. And that is a good thing. Maybe to a point it is worth contemplating.

Meanwhile I do savor moving down the road to the next pit stop and hoping it is a good place to visit. Which does happen enough to keep me happy.

Then there are the extremes, which give me headaches. Those are when people have what I consider to be very strange concepts of extremes.

Normally they are ones that don't include fun. Which is truly sad from my point of view. Because such people often have extremes that are to me downright scary.

I have nothing against things like exercise, but running a marathon is not my idea of fun. So you can forget me thinking that will be a good time.

The same holds true for so many other things of that nature. If it works for that person it is okay with me. But that will never be my idea of fun.

I just have trouble getting all excited about types of extremes that end up painful. Why that works for some people is hard to say.

I consider it to be a questionable choice. And if I want pain I will find the type where it comes from lady with a nice whip.

Yeah, that will give me a smile eventually. You can count on that. At least when I do in a way that gives me a reason to say this was a good idea. Might not work for some, but it does for me.

SMILE ON HIS LIPS

I like this little detour in the day. Seeing someone smiling and sensing they are happy for a reason that might cause you grief.

Just my gut instinct you understand. Doesn't mean it is really that way. Merely how I choose to imagine it.

But then there are so many reasons to feel that way from my point of view. Honestly, it is part of the curse of being a crook. You assume everyone thinks that way.

Well the downside is that many do. Only they don't necessarily care to admit it. Me, well I have no problem with it.

It feels good to be able to know when my smile is the joy that comes from those special times when I did somebody wrong and got away with it. Oh yeah those really are great.

Only you have to be careful that others don't suspect the same thing. No, no, no, that will never do.

So you to come up with some lame reason for things to be regarded as decent. So I find a nice lie to make it all worthwhile.

That way the other person actually thinks this is a good thing. Which then gives me a break in terms of them not thinking I'm going to ruin their lives.

It is true that I fully intend to do just that. But I don't see any reason to let them think it is that way.

Course this only works with the ones that I have reamed so well and they honestly think nothing it wrong. If I screw up and they find out the truth then I'm dog poop.

Which is where they know I stink. Then you just can't come up with any type of deodorant to get rid of that smell.

All you can do is try to be sure they don't tell others. Which is really tough at time. But if you work it out right no problem.

Sometimes I manage that others I do not. It all becomes a guessing game at times. And let me tell you that really is not something that I savor as a joy if it doesn't work out.

Ah, it is a shame when live gets to complicated. But I don't know it can be fun too. Such is the times you cherish.

The ones you don't, well those you savor with a victory drink. And you keep drinking till it does feel like victory. At least this is how I celebrate whether it is a winner's cheer or otherwise.

WONDERFULLY DEADLY

The government really does seem to savor those times when they can keep a nice stock of what are called secret weapons. Course you know once you use them they are not longer secret.

So the idea I guess is that you keep it secret basically so the enemy doesn't have a chance to figure out a decent defense. Then at the right moment you can go surprise and it all hopefully will work out for the best.

Unless your enemy had the same inspiration then you end up with being as surprised as them. Which is not necessarily cool.

Well, it wasn't my intention here to bore people with what they already know. Like there is somebody who doesn't know this?

Instead I wanted to talk about secret weapons that are less than the type that explode. Oh they do lots of damage and can be lethal in a social way, but not in ways some think of in terms of weapons.

See, to me the best kind of weapon is one that totally destroys a person's desire to fight back. You don't have to kill them if they stop wanting to fight.

That is the problem from my point of view with the way some people look at the whole weapons thing. They want to destroy the body. Practical perhaps, but so dang messy.

Plus then you have to bury the bodies and all that time of problem. Then you know you have to worry about survivors plotting some kind of revenge.

Unless, you find a way to so demoralize everyone that they don't even care about fighting under any circumstance. Then it can leave you with a reason to feel good about the victory.

And let me tell you that I truly enjoy. Not firing a shot and being able to win just the same.

Plus the nice thing is there are not any dead so you have the joy of making the wounded continue to feel miserable so much longer. What could be more special and touching than that?

I'm not saying that the prisoners and abused will agree. They might actually be inclined to complain.

Still, it is worth it. All that destruction that nobody even notice. No bad press or pictures of corpses.

But you did get some photo opportunities if you play it right. And I truly savor that.

OPEN FOR BUSINESS

Ah, now who will complain about this if you are the one who owns the business? Well I treat it as such.

And even more so when I happen to have a slice of the business. Which is a polite way of referring to a bribe.

Yep, that is how I view it. A simple nature of life that applies to where I live. However in my case I'm sure I would feel that way no matter where I lived.

The way I see it this is a good thing. I mean really what fund would life be if you could always get what you wanted?

I think that is realistic too. After all we all know life is not perfect. So it is hard to always appreciate that having things happen to make it feel less perfect are helpful.

That is the part of life I feel I personally have as a calling. Why without me it is hard to say how some people would actually start imagining they could have a real life with all the blessings and no problems.

Would that be a good thing? Not to me? Which is why I feel it is my duty to be sure I don't let them fall into such errors in thinking.

So I naturally savor my part in all of this. Making sure I let people enjoy facing life with reality and not denial.

Now I do admit that I don't apply that rule to me. Nope that is for other people. I prefer to make sure I get the joy of getting what I want.

Yeah, I know that is a double standard. But so what? I figure I'm entitled. After all if I'm going to impart all this wisdom to people I deserve to be paid.

But then some might not quite share my opinion. Which I suppose is their right. And naturally I won't bother to discuss it.

Nope I prefer to think of it as a matter of you know, the price of doing business. That is when you really want to succeed.

My interpretation you understand. Maybe not everyone's, but it does work for me. But then there isn't much that doesn't work for me in that regard.

Which is naturally how I enjoy it. And since I do make up the rules as I go along it makes it all the better.

Well for me at least. And being open for business to me includes the need for you to have that extra dash of handing me a key or bag of cash.

TAKE IF FOR NOW

Well in a more perfect life this might not be a problem. Yeah, we wouldn't have to have times when things are other than perfect.

Yep, I wish I had a way to make that happen. It would be nice if by chance this was possible.

However, I am a realist. That means I am stuck accepting reality even if it sucks. But it doesn't keep me from wishing.

Does this in any way help? It does for me. Because there are times when it is great to you know when having that time of imagining truly leads to see possibilities.

I didn't say it was perfect in terms of outcome. Just that it does grant one the joy of thinking of a better life.

That is a blessing. And at least it is in my view. Might not be for some, but it works that way for me.

I guess that is because we all know life sucks at times. So being able to see it as utopia is nice.

I didn't say it means things will improve. Only that still leaves us trying to cope with the present.

Which can be a joy if we see it in a way that has hope. That really is the part that counts the most.

For as long as we see hope in things we can always find a reason to smile, which is the part that really does make it all worth while.

See that is what the brain dead realists seem to miss. Really dreaming is a good thing. Not that it works all the time

But when it does, it is great. And I truly savor those times when dreams fill the void. It gives me such reasons to smile.

Only I guess those who don't like to dream will never care. They will always get pissed at life.

That is the part that I focus on. Let's have a good time no matter how much life sucks. And if we have to go crazy in the process all the better.

Don't know if you will get everyone to savor that glorious moment when we can say to heck with the dull and pass the joy. Now that would be truly a time to savor and I will do that always.

ANOTHER TIME

Always a point of joy. To imagine life improving on a different day. I got to admit that is pure gold when it happens.

But then that is depending on whether or not the another time is full of hope. If it is a bill then that won't cut it.

Which is something that is part of the whole focus. You have to be able to get a thrill out of thinking in terms of possibilities.

I find this so important. Yeah, you just can't look forward to better times if they are going to suck.

But that is essential that you don't forget to have a really good luck. I mean don't get lost by the fog.

Fog happens when you take another person's uninformed word for something. That can really end up very painful.

So I try to be sure I avoid that problem. It really is so important to not forget that aspect. Which some do and I try not to.

All of which is part of the reality that matters. At least in my view. Oh yeah you can count on that part.

Honestly I do have to ask what is the logic of having some forecast about future where you just would prefer to jump off some cliff? I don't see that.

Well that is all part of the reason I make sure I focus on what is important. Which includes a strong devotion to being selfish.

Yep, the future always looks so much more rosy when that is my option. It might not seem that way to some, but it does to me.

Part of it for me is based upon the wisdom of not letting the crap drive you nuts. There is too much of that which goes on.

But you can be sure I don't fall for it. Nope, I will not let that sway me from having my own future look pretty darn good.

Which makes all the difference in the world. A fun time where you don't have to make up excuses for partying while the world is coming to an end.

Oh come on, tell me you wouldn't be in favor of that either? I'm just practical about it. And that is why it makes me happy not to pretend either. Life can be fun when you don't worry about crap but the fun stuff.

RETESTING

This is one of those age old practices that leaves you with your head scratching. Like we really need to give people a second chance when they prove they are too stupid to pass the first time.

Now really does any of this seem pointless? Well it does to me. I mean does that have to be the case so people don't have to work as hard?

Has that feel to me of being about some people not wanting to try like the rest of us. So they expect you to give them a break and let them start over.

As for me, well I always take the more sensible arrangement. It is called cheating. Yeah, you read that right. I would prefer cheating to having to take a test a second time.

Now the only time I do enjoy a retesting is with a sobriety test. Like if I happen to get check while driving for under the influence. Oh man do I request a retesting if needed then.

Course most of the time I am fortunate since the cops where I live all know me. And they will be very understanding when they see me weaving down the road.

Not that it matters much since that isn't my normal behavior. Which I know is a good thing.

Still there are moments when I do have my errors in judgment. Basically those are where I make the mistake of going on the street where they might see me.

That is the part I try to avoid. So I do try and find alternative routes. And thank goodness I have found plenty.

But on those rare occasions when it ends up with a mistake where they see me then I have to hope for a retesting. At least I make it appear that way.

That is for the benefit of the cops who pull me over. Yeah that is the fun part. I let them think they did something good.

Course most of the time that really is just for show. Because the ones who do pull me over are not veterans.

They know better. Instead it is some rookie who is too new to know me. So he thinks it will make a difference.

It doesn't naturally. But it makes them feel good to think so. And that is okay. I enjoy letting them think they did something good.

And I enjoy making them snarl when I take the retest too.

PLAYING LEAP FROG

This is a good game if you play it right. Which is easy in some ways. All you have to do is savor the ability to exaggerate.

Course I am speaking of the type of leap frog where you jump over facts. That is a good kind.

Because you get to pretend some screw up never happened. Which is very important. Yes, that can really be such a pain when you can't avoid some consequence for being wrong.

I work very hard to escape that problem. I really just don't look at that as a good thing. So the more I can avoid any bad things by figuring a way to make up some alternative meaning I am happy.

But there are times when that isn't possible. So that is when I have to resort to a different kind of leap frog activity.

Which comes down to me taking the time to be sure I find someone else to leap over and leave to blame for the problem. That is tricky at times.

With practice it does get easy. Oh yeah it really is so much fun when you can achieve the joy of leap over some mess and leaving another person stuck with the goo.

I love that occasion. You come away totally free of problems and the other poor slob ends up all messed up.

Now that is really successful types of leap frog. I am proud whenever I get a shot at doing that.

But that is okay. I'm very content when I'm the only one playing this game. Honestly, it is such a joy to play it with nobody else doing the same.

Just a tidbit of joy to a make my day. Another little slice of happy obtained at another person's expense.

It is to smile. And to dance. Just as long as nobody asks why. They do get rather upset when that happens.

So you do have to appreciate that any victory celebration has to be low key and not broadcasted to the world. A sound bit of advice.

And for that I do try to keep it in perspective. That means I don't play leap frog and tell. I will write it down.

Far enough from my view. I won't say what others call it.

TAKE IT FOR NOW

Well in a more perfect life this might not be a problem. Yeah, we wouldn't have to have times when things are other than perfect.

Yep, I wish I had a way to make that happen. It would be nice if by chance this was possible.

However, I am a realist. That means I am stuck accepting reality even if it sucks. But it doesn't keep me from wishing.

Does this in any way help? It does for me. Because there are times when it is great to you know when having that time of imagining truly leads to see possibilities.

I didn't say it was perfect in terms of outcome. Just that it does grant one the joy of thinking of a better life.

That is a blessing. And at least it is in my view. Might not be for some, but it works that way for me.

I guess that is because we all know life sucks at times. So being able to see it as utopia is nice.

I didn't say it means things will improve. Only that still leaves us trying to cope with the present.

Which can be a joy if we see it in a way that has hope. That really is the part that counts the most.

For as long as we see hope in things we can always find a reason to smile, which is the part that really does make it all worth while.

See that is what the brain dead realists seem to miss. Really dreaming is a good thing. Not that it works all the time

But when it does, it is great. And I truly savor those times when dreams fill the void. It gives me such reasons to smile.

Only I guess those who don't like to dream will never care. They will always get pissed at life.

That is the part that I focus on. Let's have a good time no matter how much life sucks. And if we have to go crazy in the process all the better.

Don't know if you will get everyone to savor that glorious moment when we can say to heck with the dull and pass the joy. Now that would be truly a time to savor and I will do that always.

DOMES

Ah, the sweet joy of things that you can cover. And with something that hides incompetence. Course we say it is shelter. A very commendable interpretation, even if it isn't close to true. Just sounds great.

There are all kinds of domes in life. Being a politician I do have plenty of experience in that regard.

We just seem to be so thrilled by this option of making sure things look great even if they suck. Makes things so much easier.

Well at least in theory. Maybe not in reality. For in reality if something sucks, it will keep on sucking no matter how you cover it up.

A basic rule of life that doesn't always produce smiles. It will for me though. Because I love to see those domes people create that never hide much of anything.

It just makes life so much fun. Now that I have said all that I wish to move on. To the pluses of domes.

First they are great for hiding stuff. Yep, you can put stuff in a dome storage place and nobody will ever know it is there.

Unless you get all jazzed about bragging. Then you may have to show off your dome stuff. Good luck making that work.

As for me, well I do savor the joy of knowing how we all have this great joy of pretending. This is another fabulous moment in life.

For some of us this is yet another attempt at diversion. They type that makes life worth living.

That is enough to celebrate. Do it as a diversion from reality is so medicinal for a person like myself.

And the best part is how there are so many options in terms of things you can use to cover up crap. Oh yeah, there are lots of people out there will such choices.

You just have to be willing to look for them. They are easy to find if you work it right. If not, then it is a pain in the butt.

But we all have such options a thing to smile again. Just a matter how you chose to view it.

My advice is that we start by ignoring whatever that we don't want to think about. That makes for the best type of dome. The rest is easy.

ONE AND DRONE

Hard to think of the concept of a crone without it involving droning. I mean a crone is not exactly a term related to someone know as little Ms. Sunshine.

It is generally related to an older woman who is, well, not happy. Oh she might have been happy at some point in life, but now she pissed at the world and making sure everyone she meets feels a need to drone on about life's misery.

Is this a good thing? Not to me. I always feel there ought to have been a point where this person was remotely happy. You know the sun came up and she had a reason to smile. Had friends and even a reason to enjoy life.

But when I listen to the person, I must confess, I don't hear them say anything that suggests this is the case. Most of the time it is more like the present is just a reflection of the past. As if the past was practice for this misery. Not quite an inspirational concept.

Now I do consider myself less than blessed to have a rather super abundance of such ladies in my city. I have learned to cope.

That is a popular term for not screaming even when you want to or even need to. How do I maintain my sanity?

Easy. I just toss one of my help as sacrifice to these gals. Yeah, that is the cowards way out. I agree, but it so works.

See from my view this is just being practical. All my help are as a rule younger than me. Okay, in some of the departments there are plenty of crones.

However, I am talking about the ones I can sucker into believing my lies about this help thing. I toss them some fake bone of promise and they go for it every time.

It sucks to some degree I suppose, but what the heck, they seem to survive. Well at least that sounds good.

And I keep telling myself even when one of them as a rather nasty bruise from having some crone bash him with an umbrella or cane. That is so tacky, but hey, that's what crones do.

I do try to find solace in the reality that my help do heal fast. They might heal faster if they had better health insurance.

Perhaps one with a deductible that wasn't nearly as much as their monthly salary. But then if I fixed that they might go the doctor more. Besides, if I used more city funds for that purpose it would cut into the money I need for my own needs.

After all you can drink overpriced gourmet coffee for breakfast without having fresh rolls flown in from a major city bakery I so love. Just wouldn't be breakfast without them.

GREAT TIMES

I guess I'm hung up on good things lately. And this really gives me so many times to smile.

For great times really are such a blessing. There I go again with the blessing thing again. Guess it is sort of stuck in my head.

I just think blessings really are a great deal. Wish I could find a way to make this an everyday experience, but instead it only happens so times.

I am working on it. And the best way I know to do that is to be sure that I find a way to make all events a good time.

Is this easy? Nope. It is down right tough. Because there are too many who will plot to keep you from enjoy them.

At least from what I have observed. They are just down right obnoxious and plotting in a way that says, "I don't want anyone to have a good time."

I have learned to see such people as other than helpful or worth offering advice. If they want to live that way find.

I will of course let them savor such option. If going to funerals is there idea of fun, so be it.

That just doesn't work for me. Honestly, I will not put myself into the category of seeing sorrow as a form of entertainment.

This much you can count with me. I will always focus on enjoying life and savoring what is good.

And that means having plenty of smiles. Now that is hard where I live. I will grant you that much.

What can I say? We are talking about a place where dull is a lifestyle. Where people consider organizing their sock drawer as a social outing.

This is never going to make my list of joys. And you can be sure if it ever does I know it will be time to retire from life.

Then I will join the others who are in the same boat. Not with a smile you understand. Just with the appreciation that if I'm that bad off I might as well be dead.

Which is a good alternative to the stupidity some call life. And you can be sure I will not join them if I can avoid it. I will naturally chose the option of visiting the mortician first. That is more merciful.

WONDERFUL

Now this is truly a blessed situation. Providing one is able to see the wonderful as a good thing. Would there ever be a time when something could be wonderful and not be a blessing?

I think so. Not that I enjoy the experience, but again if something is wonderful in general or for somebody else it doesn't mean you will enjoy it.

True, things can be wonderful for one without being misery for others. That is the nice thing about wonderful. It is rather a given I suppose in that regard.

However, I do have a tendency to savor a wonderful a little more when I know it is at the price of somebody else. Kind of absurd perhaps, but it is how I like to see it.

Why? I guess because I am operating under this odd theory that there is only so much wonderful going on in the world. We have a limit you understand.

My view naturally. Which is predicated on the awareness of how people are as a rule not nice or good.

I personally seen much to contradict this fact. I wish I had. But the reality from my point of view is that it is stupid to assume people will naturally want wonderful for somebody else.

So, I have taken the approach that never presume that others have an inclination towards kindness. Doing so from my books is a big mistake.

And when you do this you invited a reaction of indifference. You choice you understand as to whether or not is works out.

Which as far as I have witnessed just doesn't happen when you want. I wish it did, but the wonderful just seems to get lost in the process.

Then if you do manage it things are never quite as wonderful as you imagine because they suck on some level. That is the result of people.

It is always the major glitch in wonderful. Those little drones of boring who want to make you join their clan.

If you say no, that is when the plot to really ruin your wonderful. Which is easy to do if they plan it right.

That is why I work hard on the process of not letting them find a way to ruin any wonderful. Of course this takes effort. Some thought and some luck. In the end if you can smile and they end up sad then you have preserved the wonderful. Life goes n with a smile, at least for you.

BEST OF TIMES

Who would complain about this? Best normally doesn't inspired anger. Unless you are talking say where somebody else is having the best of times are your expense. That is does not inspire smiles for most of us.

At least is doesn't for me. I don't get all that excited when somebody else has a reason to be happy when I am left in pain.

Just doesn't work for me. Now if the situation is reverse, ahh, well that is different. I can get pretty darn excited when that is the option.

Now there are plenty of occasions when the best of times doesn't involve misery for somebody. And will actually end up being a source of joy for more than one person.

Those can be pleasant enough. But they don't seem to happen quite as often as I want. You know how it is, you start out with the hope that tonight will be the best of times. Then occasionally it gets all screwed up.

The dream date you thought was going to meet you at the motel cancelled. Stupid husband came home early from his business trip! That is not the best of times.

However, on the upside though is the fact of when say the secretary who went on his trip with him is left feeling lonely. So you get to comfort her instead. Ah that is called making the best of a bad situation.

So there are times when it truly is the best of times later. Providing his secretary is the kind to accept the best of times where there is no possible raise involve.

Ah those are the mysteries of life that make it fun. Always wondering if tonight will be a really great feast.

Oh believe me there have been plenty of situations where I've come that close to it being the best of times. So I do cherish them when the comes for it to be all good.

Course that doesn't happen in all situations, wish it did. My favorites are when I have a chance to either enjoy a nice motel meet or collect a bribe. And if I combine the two even better.

The times that are not the best of times are when say, I end up spending time with my wife. You know when neither of us has a motel rendezvous.

Thank god fate stepped in the other day. We almost ended up with dating each other. Man talk about other than a best of times.

Fortunately we did avoid that moment. Thanks to voice messages on a cell phone. Ah, itis the little things that count.

LET THE GOOD TIMES SLEEP

Now this is great advice. Just one of those situations where there are times when it is so nice to take a nap.

And that is a good time where you are exhausted. Which happens to me in plenty of cases. You know working so hard and thinking up new cons is very draining on the mind.

Some people never seem to appreciate just how much. I guess they might if they were as crooked as I am. But I guess it is a good thing they aren't.

For I really don't need that much competition to be honest. I am much happier being able to savor all my greed without having to worry somebody else will do the same.

So for me I think I will always be grateful for the times I can sneak away and rest and not have the people wonder why? I hate those kinds of time of explanations.

But fortunately it doesn't come up all the time. Just enough to be annoying. Oh yeah it always will be something less than inspiring when I have to cope with that option.

Fortunately, I am able to divert attention away from my situation when I can come up with a decent enough lie. Those are hard to create when you are feeling to much pressure from different sources.

However, I am grateful for those occasions and also how I am able to find so many options for a few good naps. This is a critical part.

See, you can just go over to your house and go into the bedroom. A bad choice. Plus there is for me a little less than desirable option if I go to a motel without the benefit of a companion. Just hard to sleep when I would prefer to not be alone.

My view you understand. Not everyone would make that connection, but I do and that is one I have to embrace for myself.

So that leaves the motel option out of the question for just a nap. And then there is the problem of just parking somewhere in my car.

See the cops all know my car. And if they see it sitting parked somewhere they will always come up and see if I'm okay.

Having them show up while I'm snoring is not a good thing. So that is to be avoided too. And let me tell you that is not who I like to deal with things.

So after careful thought I have often just managed to handle this via my office. A private meeting only I'm single person in attendance. Ah, the sweet joy of secrecy behind closed doors. Makes me so happy.

SAD, BUT SMILING

Well, there are times when things don't work out and you do get rather sad. But it doesn't last because you can still smile knowing this isn't the end of the world. It wasn't a victory, but it wasn't the last inning of the game either.

Just a moment in between where you sort of learned when something didn't work. That is put in the category of a learning experience.

Perhaps not one we wanted, but one we have to live with just the same. And maybe that isn't all bad.

For if we learn in the process that is a good thing. Saving up the knowledge for the next time. Which is a blessing to be sure.

At least from my view. Maybe not everyone will feel that way, but some do. And that definitely works for me.

Providing it ends up with hope. That is the big key you understand. See you can smile if you can say someday. Just a little taste of knowing there will be a great time yet to be had.

Not that matters in terms of that given event you understand. For that is what truly matter is that you tried and will try again.

That is where the real test comes in. Because it is very hard to always keep up that image of the future being different.

And if you succeed even in a disaster that is a good thing. For that will truly make you have a reason to smile the next time things go wrong.

Which will happen. I am a believer in being positive. But also in being practical. That translates for me into not forgetting reality.

So you don't sit down and decide the bad will never happen again. You can do that if you want to be stupid.

For stupid is to smile like you never will stumble again in your entire life. Which to me is stupid.

So this a fine balance we have to achieve. Stumble and learn and then move on. With a smile if you can.

Which is better than a frown if you are prepared to say someday is a time come with both good and bad. Do that and you can smile.

Fail to do it and you'll just end up with less than a smile.