EXPENDABLE

Ah, this is so much fun. The idea of somebody actually being like a used item you toss away is intriguing to me.

I find it fascinating to think of things in those terms. You know to be able to sit down and smile when looking at some dude who has RIP written on his forehead and doesn't know it.

Naturally, they never are aware of such things. Which makes it all the better. I mean you know it is so great when they have time to be offered up as a sacrificial lamb.

Course I never tell them that is their fate. Why spoil the fun of the surprise when it comes?

Yeah, it is one of my pleasures in life. Taking those who are doomed and helping them realize their potential.

Yes, I said it was potential. Okay, perhaps not in terms of something some would regard as uplifting by some definitions.

But it sure is to me. I love the idea of spreading this kind of joy. Just makes me quiver with joy.

And to be able to help such people along the way to extinction. Okay, that might not be how some would view it as good.

What can I say? I always feel so great when I see fate actually work as I want. Make me restored in my joy of life.

As for the poor slobs on the receiving process, well I'm proud of them. Every poor sap who is going to end up being litter in one way or another.

I'm just grateful to be part of the process. To do my part to help the system function. That gives me such joy.

I do wish more people would embrace this system. I would find the whole system quite helpful.

But then I'm not on the fate's hit list. I might like to offer of them a few suggestions for additions.

Now it might even have been fun to start a waiting list. I can dream even if I can't write the list.

But that can change. All in due time. Which never happens when I want to, but I'm working on improving that.

DEAD RECKONING

Well there are definitely times when it is important to call a corpse, a corpse. To be willing to look at some dead cadaver of an idea or other item and accept it is beyond resuscitation.

That can really be tough when you are talking about something where you honestly spent so poor a lot of effort into something. And so you have grown attached to the whatever.

You just keep telling yourself you can still breathe life into the thing if you just try. The mind can get stupid that way at times.

And I even find myself being guilty of such things. Always feel dumb too, but do it anyway. Isn't that wonderful?

See knowing the truth and being willing to accept it is not the same thing. I wish it was otherwise.

But that isn't reality. And even though reality sucks at it is still what we get stuck dealing with just the same.

My approach to this is naturally to focus on being hopefully, but not ignoring the vital signs. Or should I say the lack of them.

Honestly, it is so important to know the difference. A dead tremor is not the same as exhaling. And a thump is not the same as a heartbeat.

Wish it was the option, but sometimes we are just so better off if we don't pretend on that subject.

Only things get so muddled in our thinking. We just can't help ourselves. There are times when life will get stupid and we just are infected by it all.

That doesn't mean we can't change. Just that we might not want to. Sometimes that can be so hard to balance.

Still the sane person gives it the best shot. Which naturally doesn't quite mean success. Just that we are willing try.

This doesn't necessarily mean it works out though. In any event, we plod along in the shear and feeble delusion that life will always be perfect.

Does it mean it is perfect? Not even close. Does it mean it will ever become perfect? Nope, not that either.

But we love to think that way. And even if some ideal has a title deed to a grave stapled to its face, we are going to hope for a miracle cure.

EVER THE SAME

There are times when it is wonderful to have life be dependable. Those rare and wonderful occasions where sometime can be counted upon to not change.

In Mediocrity where I am Mayor we have an abundance of predictable. To the point you could go insane from the boredom.

Ever the same and going nuts with dullness are not equal or a blessing. For me same in a good way is what I want.

Like being able to go to a bar and count on always finding some company for the evening. That is the kind of same I can enjoy.

Only those kinds of same just don't happen enough. Not as often as I would like. Oh that I could wave a magic wand and make that a reality.

Alas, on this ever the same issue it doesn't work that way. Trust me as Mayor I would pass a law for it to happen that way if I had the option.

What is annoying to me is how the constants always end up being totally less than exciting. I wish I could find more exceptions to this, but I haven't so far.

Oh I have definitely given it plenty of thought. I have tried so hard to focus on ways to improve the ever options in my town.

The main problem is I can't exactly tell others my priority on this. Explaining my goal is to party all night long with as many friendly ladies as possible just doesn't inspire cooperation.

So I have to resort to being creative. I have to allow myself the freedom to explain things with metaphors.

Yeah, that is where you use one terms, but have a wholly different meaning to the term that others understand. It can be fun that is for sure.

Communication is a great term in that regard. When I'm speaking of communication, I'm not speaking of dialogue in the traditional sense.

That is what I tell others, but it isn't what I mean. The kind I'm looking for doesn't require a lot of words.

It does require a partner. A woman who is very good at listening. That is such a treasured commodity for me.

And trust me I have developed a very large circle of nice ladies who are more than willing to listen. Ah, it is wonderful the communication we achieve in those motel speaches.

FOR THE BEST

I can't remember the times I have heard this said and never found it to be true. Honestly, it is never said about good things is it? This only is said when something is totally screwed up.

And somehow after we are sitting cut and bleeding, we say, it was for the best. Question is who is the person is was really ending up with this being best?

Not from my view it don't happen enough. I want the best to be good, not suck. I want the best to be exciting, not a joke.

Maybe that is too much to ask for though. I can appreciate some will never see it that way. However, that isn't me.

Nope, I want to focus this on what truly makes the list of best. At least by the method that I keep score.

Because I don't want a downer of some experience that I have to lie about to make it sound great. And when I'm done I still feel like crap, but it sounds better.

So for me, I try to reduce the for the best moments that don't really feel all that best. That way they don't piss me off the best.

Winning helps. The more you win the more you can feel better about life in general. Only you don't get to win all the time.

Lying helps. I know that is cheating, but heck sometimes you don't have a choice. Not in my view at least.

This all becomes such a blessing in the long run if you work it right. And trust me I have managed to do that a lot.

Which really works great on the old score card. That is the one I feel I can show others. It is almost as impressive as they trophy case I have at home.

True, all the trophies I bought myself. And after a while I quit even putting anything on the trophy.

Most people see the case and just start drooling. They never ask what all of them are for. And you can be sure I don't bother to say.

There is always that one clown who is different and will look at them closely. That requires a certain creativity on my part.

But it works for me. And you know I feel so proud when I'm done and it works great. That makes it all worthwhile.

FOR THE BEST

I can't remember the times I have heard this said and never found it to be true. Honestly, it is never said about good things is it? This only is said when something is totally screwed up.

And somehow after we are sitting cut and bleeding, we say, it was for the best. Question is who is the person is was really ending up with this being best?

Not from my view it don't happen enough. I want the best to be good, not suck. I want the best to be exciting, not a joke.

Maybe that is too much to ask for though. I can appreciate some will never see it that way. However, that isn't me.

Nope, I want to focus this on what truly makes the list of best. At least by the method that I keep score.

Because I don't want a downer of some experience that I have to lie about to make it sound great. And when I'm done I still feel like crap, but it sounds better.

So for me, I try to reduce the for the best moments that don't really feel all that best. That way they don't piss me off the best.

Winning helps. The more you win the more you can feel better about life in general. Only you don't get to win all the time.

Lying helps. I know that is cheating, but heck sometimes you don't have a choice. Not in my view at least.

This all becomes such a blessing in the long run if you work it right. And trust me I have managed to do that a lot.

Which really works great on the old score card. That is the one I feel I can show others. It is almost as impressive as they trophy case I have at home.

True, all the trophies I bought myself. And after a while I quit even putting anything on the trophy.

Most people see the case and just start drooling. They never ask what all of them are for. And you can be sure I don't bother to say.

There is always that one clown who is different and will look at them closely. That requires a certain creativity on my part.

But it works for me. And you know I feel so proud when I'm done and it works great. That makes it all worthwhile.

DEALS ON SQUEELS

I doubt any of us would say we love relating to people who will rats us out and tells the worlds out secrets. Perhaps you are not a person who has lots to hide. Personally, I don't know anyone like that, but you might be the exception.

If not, then no doubt you aren't crazy about having to cope with somebody who will take anything you say and broadcast it like it is worthy of the evening news. But if you have to deal with a few people prone to such behavior, then that is the time to roll out the bribe snack wagon.

Yep, it is amazing what a little motivation can do for some people. You can enjoy giving their tongue a gift of silence because they will be too busy stuffing their faces with crap they bought with the bribe.

This is not a new or unique concept. It is one that happens all the time. Just not in circles with any morals. But such people are strange. Not quite normal from my point of view.

Okay, I do admit we treat that as normal, but from what I have seen it isn't the norm. Conniving and double dealing is what really works.

It is just a matter of finding the right people who you can spend time with that will actually be reasonable on this. Which is the big and most critical element from my point of view.

After all if you are going to bribe somebody you want to be sure you are getting you money's worth. I know I do.

Some might think otherwise. Fine. Go ahead and enjoy yourself. Have fun with your boring life being a decent human being.

As for the rest of us sane people, well shoot let's have some fun. Come on let's have party. Some moment of joy when we can sit back and celebrate being real people.

Everyone else can stay home and practice their dullness. Just as long as you don't expect to join you then everything will be fine.

Meanwhile, I think the rest of us sane people will keep on having fun. Yeah, we aren't talking morality here.

But then I bet we enjoy ourselves better. And who can complain about that? Not me. And if you want to, go ahead and knock yourself out.

Because I probably won't hear you over the racket of our party. That's the one you will never be attending.

No offense, but we don't need any additional bores at our fun times.

NOT SO TRUE

Isn't wonderful the things that are peddled as being true. And depending on who says it will depend on if we think it is actually true.

Which is the odd aspect about things like this is for example with politicians and salesmen. We know they both lie, but still think they ought to tell the truth.

Now how you manage to tell the truth as either calling and get someone to believe you are actually being honest, I'm not sure. Still struggling with that so often myself.

So far I haven't found the option available either. I am working on it though. Just hard to find the right approach that works.

Plus people are weird. After all they have no problem believing two things that contradict each other.

Which means if they happen to think one idea is bad and the other good, but neither works with the other, it is still okay in their minds. As long as you don't expect it to make sense you are in great shape.

When it comes to the truth that can be really tricky. Because if the truth doesn't happen to be what somebody what to believe they might think you were lying anyway.

And if for some reason they think a lie is the truth it can even be worse. For then they will only thing what you say if it agrees with what they want to believe.

What really amazes me is how often people think the news is accurate. Oh some say they don't believe it, but they keep watching just the same.

Some will claim to believe the news is crap. But they spend so much time repeating the stories told you know it isn't reality.

Course this is nothing to the mental stupidity we get over movies. I mean they are normally pure fiction, but that doesn't stop us from believing they are true.

So again when it comes to something like what we wish were true, like with a movie, oh man are we prepared to believe crap. And the more it is crap, but what we want to believe even better.

Because life is so much more fun if it is reality as we love to see it. Which is perhaps my main point.

We love fiction. We want it as truth. Real truth, well it is nice, but if it is too scary, forget it.

I think that pretty much covers that joy.

TOUGH ALMOST ENOUGH

There are times when tough sounds better than it really is. I mean it really is impressive to think you can take a hit big time. But that doesn't mean we always savor the moments of being bashed.

In fact I'm sure there are times when we hate it. I'm sure it feels great to actually have the satisfaction of accomplishing survival. Well I guess that is a good way of putting it.

Only I'm not sure we boast about it. Not most of the time. Oh we might go whew! But otherwise I think it is more a time we prefer to not think about that much.

Still, even in those times we do find a special joy over knowing one is a wall. Some curtain of impenetrable steel nobody could dent.

Now none of us is that strong all the time, but it sure sounds good to put it that way. At least to me it does.

Meanwhile we do our best to try and savor when things work out and we can look back and say, hey I was a rock! I was the power of the day. I outlasted that terrible storm. And I have a reason to boast!

It might all have sucked in terms of real life. We might not have in any way truly deserved that title, but heck it sounds like a good thing.

In any case, I still prefer to avoid the challenges when possible. I'm sorry to wimp out here, but pain is not on my list of fun things to do.

That might work for some, but not for me. And from the way I see it, this is where I feel creative really comes into play.

Yes, you know, when in the company of people who don't know you, this is precious. A chance to be whoever you want to be.

Not that everyone agrees. Some never seem to be able to cherish such things. They get all concerned and fuzzy over the fact that they made a mistake.

Which wouldn't be a problem if they didn't insist upon trying to be factual. Hey, what fun is life if you can invent the truth?

It works for me. And most things do in reality. What can I say, for me life is wonderful when you can paint it as it appears in your mind.

True, some insist upon the truth, but then that is there problem. I'll go with happy endings every time.

Ah, the joy of make believe. You never have to go home again.

TO THE CORE

Ah, is there any better feeling? Yep, having something touch you to the core is such a great experience.

It makes the whole day worthwhile. Yep, when the world flows into your veins and you feel like you can walk on air, then life is really so special.

The problem is not being able to gleam these moments when you want. That makes it less than pleasurable.

If only there was a way to improve the chances, now that would be great. Not sure how though.

And then there is the problem that no all the things that touch one to the bone are good. Well not in terms of how others might view it.

Which makes it difficult. Some just don't seem to appreciate that it is a good thing when you get excited over somebody's agony.

Even if it is some enemy they just don't seem to think it is okay. That doesn't make sense to me.

For some silly reason people act like wishing bad stuff to happen to creeps is wrong. That seems so absurd.

What am I suppose to forget they are a jerk? Am I to pretend they did a bunch of crap I hate and it deserves to be punished?

Well that might work for some people, but not me. Nope, I might not sit down and plot against some creep, but I am not going to be sorry when they get what they deserve.

At least that is being honest. True, there have been a few times when I have sort of encouraged their demise in some way.

That doesn't happen to be a bad thing from my view. And the fun part is when I can arrange it so somebody else does the person in.

Which is even more fun if the person is say another enemy and in the process I succeed in getting them in trouble in the process. That really touches to the core.

I don't know, it just feels so wonderful. I see one rat ruin a second rat and then gets caught.

Which all feels so good. As long as in the end they both end up wiped out and I end not getting in trouble. A very critical part of the whole equation you understand. One that makes it really touch to the core.

MYSTERIOUS

Now this is a good and fun thing. A nice chance to savor something that makes you oooh and awww. Yep, that is what works for me.

And from my view this is truly a fun time if you work it right. Which can happen if you approach it with the proper perspective.

Now that can be a challenge, admittedly. Because I think we enjoy knowing about things that are special and unique, but don't enjoy if they are unclear.

That might seem to some to be not that important, but it is. Which is part of the problem, mysterious doesn't mean you have to enjoy it being fuzzy.

For me that is the part I hate. Mysterious is that wonderful cloud that makes something interesting.

But for me the good part is when you can get rid of the cloud. Now that leaves you able to see what is underneath.

That way you can find out what made it sort of mysterious in the first place. But not kept it that way.

I find that very beneficial. A detail that gives me happiness. I love finding out what made something mysterious.

When I can figure that part out it makes it possible for me to try and determine how we can duplicate that quality. It is very important to me.

I like the appeal of making people think I'm somebody other than who I am. Gives me extra flavor and personality.

Well sounds good at least. And anything that helps me out in the areas of illusion is a big plus.

As a mayor I do love that part. It gives me a chance to improve my illusion. Lies just can only take you so far.

You need chances to fill in the gaps. This happens so often in such situations. A few extra details make the difference.

In my case they can help decide if by chance I get to be seen as a knight instead of a bad guy. Now in reality I am sort of a bad guy. Con men are seen that way.

But it isn't like I'm plotting to take over the world or anything, just not busy fighting dragons or rescuing damsels in distress. Well I do try to rescue the damsels, but in some cases they end up with a different kind of stress.

STRIKE UP THE...

Ah, we come to the last in my wonderful devotions to the subject of striking. Yep, it really is nice to have spent time devoted to seeing the times a strike makes a difference in life.

Then we come to the moment of truth. When we learn our lessons and are ready to celebrate. Yeah, we can really find that such a great thing to cherish.

A celebration is always fun. Providing you have a real reason to celebrate. Some do, some don't.

And when we find the time we can find a way to make it always fun. That is the important part.

Sometimes we do have to keep focused though. It can be tough otherwise. Now my focus is on having a good time.

I think that really matters. I mean you can have all the gold in the world, but no one to share it with, then you will be miserable.

But if you spend it all your gold trying to make friends, they you end up broke and all the other guys will be off celebrating the next dude who has the bags of money. Yep, that can happen. And it does.

So you need a balance of some kind. A time when you have to be able to sit and evaluate how you have wealth and still be happy.

I know that old saying about all the money in the world does buy happiness. I figure it was probably said by a guy with no money.

Because the guy with money is probably off at some party. And that will always be a good thing for that guy.

Oh if he is smart he's invited a few friends. Dangled enough money out there to keep them interested.

But not enough to make them greedy or expect more than a few tips. Making them rich is not the solution.

It will never be. A real less than blessed option. For myself, I am mainly interested in having a good time.

And if I can get somebody else to pay for it. All the better. Never complain about free. It is such a blessing at times.

Providing you can lie well enough to get the free.

STRIKE UP THE...

Ah, we come to the last in my wonderful devotions to the subject of striking. Yep, it really is nice to have spent time devoted to seeing the times a strike makes a difference in life.

Then we come to the moment of truth. When we learn our lessons and are ready to celebrate. Yeah, we can really find that such a great thing to cherish.

A celebration is always fun. Providing you have a real reason to celebrate. Some do, some don't.

And when we find the time we can find a way to make it always fun. That is the important part.

Sometimes we do have to keep focused though. It can be tough otherwise. Now my focus is on having a good time.

I think that really matters. I mean you can have all the gold in the world, but no one to share it with, then you will be miserable.

But if you spend it all your gold trying to make friends, they you end up broke and all the other guys will be off celebrating the next dude who has the bags of money. Yep, that can happen. And it does.

So you need a balance of some kind. A time when you have to be able to sit and evaluate how you have wealth and still be happy.

I know that old saying about all the money in the world does buy happiness. I figure it was probably said by a guy with no money.

Because the guy with money is probably off at some party. And that will always be a good thing for that guy.

Oh if he is smart he's invited a few friends. Dangled enough money out there to keep them interested.

But not enough to make them greedy or expect more than a few tips. Making them rich is not the solution.

It will never be. A real less than blessed option. For myself, I am mainly interested in having a good time.

And if I can get somebody else to pay for it. All the better. Never complain about free. It is such a blessing at times.

Providing you can lie well enough to get the free.

STRIKE ONE

Back to the strike thing again. Guess I'm trying to exhaust myself on this subject. Too me strike one is a warning. A hint that you better pay attention.

Not enough to totally destroy you, just enough to get your thinking. And that can be a good thing. Just enough help to be sure you wake up and do things different.

Hopefully so you can like get ready for the next time. And then be able to hit a home run on the next pitch. Hey, it does happen.

True, strike one doesn't always mean it leads to a home run. But it can inspire to do things different.

That is at least the good theory from my point of view. It doesn't mean it works in real life, but I do enjoy the illusion.

And it is nice to have such dreams and hopes. Maybe they don't quite work to make like as perfect as we like, but that is okay. I can savor the illusion just the same.

Which still makes the whole idea of strike one important in my thinking. Yep, I really do cherish such opportunities to be challenged by life.

As long as I get to keep score. That is the part that does matter. You do need to be able to focus on what counts.

It is a plus in terms of planning and savoring whatever life has to offer. At least it works that way in theory. I did mention that part once before.

Probably felt like mentioning again because it does give me such joy. I don't know, what can I say?

Life is a game and everyone gets a chance to bat. But it doesn't mean we all get the same chance because we don't have much control over who is doing the pitching.

And sometimes they can be real difficult others easy. We don't control that part. We just have our chance.

When we blunder and get that strike one, well it is the time we can sit back and enjoy or the time we can complain. Or we can try again.

Funny how many times people will just give up. That happens a lot at times. As for me, well I always keep a few extra balls around to be sure I can fudge on my attempts at the plate. Diversion is a plus you understand.

In any case, I will love the time that we have to play. For if you aren't in the game you are no where.

STRIKES AND BALLS

I guess I am in a strike mood lately. So that means I'm thinking of all different kinds of strikes. And you can hardly think of strikes without thinking of baseball. Well at least it seems to be that way.

Only in this case I'm not sure I'm thinking only in terms of the traditional strikes and balls. That would be fine, but I think too predictable.

Nope, that will never work. Because it would be silly. In any case, what I'm going to make a priority here is to make this unique and special.

Which naturally requires me to be creative. So let me put this into the philosophical mode. One where I examine the issue of what does a strike really represent?

Some might claim it represents failure. But it can mean effort. That is what counts. That is the part that really does matter.

For at least it means you honestly took a swing. That means a risk. And risk taking can me you end up with a strike, but it can also mean you might end up with a home run. And that is worth the risk.

At least to me it is. Might not be to others, but it is to me. I like to focus on that option. Which makes the strike so much more important.

See that is the problem with balls. They mean you played it safe and in this case you got the benefit because the risk would end in a failure.

But does that mean if you don't swing and get a strike just the same it is a good thing? I don't think so.

I think it sucks. It is getting punished without even trying. And I never see this as a good thing.

Because you never tried. Okay my view again. And I understand that part. Doesn't mean it is a good thing though.

And the whole point for me is that my view makes me a winner. Okay, I will strike out at times, but I will also end up with my share of hits.

True, I have exaggerated my batting average. But then I do feel I'm entitled. Yeah, my rules.

And at least I feel good about the trying part. Okay the times that I get a ball can be a form of joy too.

But then it is all in the matter of the scorekeeping. And I do great at that part.

SIT DOWN STRIKES

Doesn't this sound like such a wonderful thing? Not to me. I think it is stupid.
After all, who in their right mind thinks this is a good thing?

Basically to me this is where people are refusing to do something and end up being so lazy that they refuse to stand up for the protest. Like it will make them sick or something. That is so helpful from my point of view.

Yeah, I want those lazy jerks to get off of their behinds and have to do some work. Come on make this strike business something that makes them think about it a little.

I want those folks to feel the consequences of this strike thing to the bone. I want them to truly grasp how such things cause problems.

After all this is America and we know that means the right to express oneself. The also doesn't mean you do so in an intelligent or sane manner.

No, no, no. That will never do. We can't expect it to mean that we can actually have what we want.

Nope, that just doesn't work that way. Instead we have to deal with the joys of our ideals. Those are the things where we put more value on principles that practical issues.

A nice theory. Only it doesn't pay the bills. And some where in the middle of everything we manage to try and figure out what is important.

Only none of us agrees on that part. So instead we come up with this wonderful option of deciding how we can survive another feast of what the heck? That's what I call getting pissed with life and finding someone to blame.

Life is such a wonderful parade of questions. We do the best we can with it. And sometimes we even manage to think in positive terms.

Not always you understand. That will never do. Nope, instead we need little events like this kind of sit down business to inspire more insanity.

And sometimes that works. Others that doesn't. But that will not say we actually bother to tell the truth either.

It all comes down to the joy of another day in the world of happy. Well happy in the sense of what we want to believe it true.

And that is so wonderful. A joy to behold depending on whom you ask. As for me, well I like to think in terms of it being my way. That all figures in there somewhere. Not sure where, but somewhere.

Which all works for me. Like most things.

STOP, LOOK AND FORGET ABOUT IT

What a wonderful concept. You sit down and pause in the midst of some blunder and decide to accept the reality. You blew it!

Yep, that is so encouraging and helpful. Just a wonderful moment of revelation. One where you hopefully don't quite have need to lie so much.

Now the qualifier see is that you don't tell others about this. That is the big choice. You can't do that.

No matter how much it sucks, no matter how often you feel like you are totally a moron, you just don't bother to tell another soul. Especially a best friend.

That is the quickest way to be sure everyone knows about it. And that is what you definitely don't want.

But that is okay. You just have to remember that rule. Never blab what makes you look like an idiot.

Only surviving such moments without bothering to tell others is really hard. You just have this urge to explain to others why you aren't as dumb as it appears.

So you keep telling yourself, when you get done, you'll feel so much better. And you'll just know the other person will understand.

Oh they understand alright. At least they claim to understand. The whole time they are naturally sitting there smiling and in reality thinking, oh god what an idiot.

Not that they will tell you that directly. That would never work. Nope there is no fun is telling a person they are an idiot directly.

So much for the issue of confidence. Well secrets are great when they stay secrets, but you can be sure this will never happen.

Nope, that is not how it works. The more details you give out the more they will be added to later.

By the time they get done adding to it there is so much said that you never even mentioned, it gets ridiculous. And that only gets added to in time.

Now the really sad part is knowing all of this and still spilling your guts. That really doesn't work very well in the brain cell department.

And I do vow to do better. Haven't managed you understand, but do try. And that is okay from my view. Because the nice thing about gossip is that you can always add more lies to it.

OFF COURSE

Oh my is this fun or what? It really isn't that surprising when it happens. It doesn't mean we will admit it though. Nobody likes to accept when we are totally that stupid.

Kind of like with guys who can't accept when they get lost. Now what makes it really bad is the refusal to ask for help. That is the part that sucks.

Now being off course can happen to everyone. It is the stupidity of pretending you're doing fine that is the big problem. Obviously if you are no where that you have a clue to identify and can't begin to put your finger on how to get where you need to be you are lost and off course.

So get on with accepting it. Come on now, be brave, suck it up and say, okay, I blew it and it is time to start over.

That would be the best advice. After all so you got lost, what is the big deal? The world will not end just because you end up admitting you were an idiot.

Actually, it is more insane and stupid to think you are okay pretending being a moron is really okay. That is truly worse.

At least it is too me. Mainly because of the pivotal point that you that you are still lost. No matter how you wish to explain it you are lost dummy!

So get on with you life. Get some help. Ask for directions, buy a map moron! Come on, stop acting like a jerk.

What have you got to lose? You might run out of reasons to lie about being lost. Would that be so terrible?

Just go with it. And if you are really creative you can make it into a game. A wonderful chance to laugh your ass off.

Well that is my view of it. I just want to get past this idea of being lost having such a bad reputation. It really does suck.

And who really needs that? Not me. I prefer the time honored tradition of finding some clown to blame for the problem.

That for me is progress. I love it when you can toss out some finger and say "he did it, he did it, he did it!"

And if it all goes well then it works, you stall so you don't have to admit you were lost and the other person gets the blame while you figure out how to stop being lost. Works great for everyone. My rule you understand. And so far I always keep tract by my rules. It means I always win.

STAYING THE COURSE

Ah, such a noble concept. The idea of being faithful. A nice theory you understand. Much not necessarily reality.

Oh I didn't say we weren't ambitious to savor such things. Oh yeah, we love the concept. You know just to create illusion that somehow we can actually be capable of always doing the right thing.

Course this does happen at times. Like say with a person in jail. Now they will behave in terms of the limits of what you can get away with in prison.

So unless you can bribe the guards or manage in some other way you will pretty much stay the course. I didn't say you would enjoy it, just do what you have too.

Which is the part that sort of is important. The enjoying part. That does sort of count at times. You know that you certainly have a lot more reason to be faithful if the course is pleasant.

Like say if you were to have to say on some island where you were the only guy among a thousand lonely females. Ah, now that would be easy to remain faithful. Well providing they were faithful and keeping you happy.

Yeah, that counts for something to me. Not sure what completely. Since those kinds of opportunities don't come up that often.

Wish they did. It would make things so wonderful and special. Well in terms of the fun that would come from feeling good about this whole thing of staying the course.

Only the stuff you normally get stuck having to stay the course about is boring to say the least. Things like paying bills. Never that exciting is it?

The fun is in the borrowing. At least it can be if you are using the credit for good stuff. Then you get to feel like celebrating.

It is a nice credit celebration. A bash of great joy as long as the credit lasts. Then naturally the bill comes due.

That is the part of staying the course that doesn't count as fun. Well not that I have noticed.

Instead, we take that part and cope. Staying the course out of necessity. More like intimidation.

That is the part where we do it for fear of consequences. Not that it makes us happy. Just a matter of fear inspiring our hands to do what our minds don't want to do. A matter of choice.

TOTALLY

Ah, this is such a sweet phrase. Something that is without any flaws. An evident or item that is utterly complete. And let me tell you this is so rare in real life that one can't help being truly excited when it happens.

It is just a pity one can't achieve this more often in our efforts at life. Which is not that surprising. After all totally is so complete that you never worry about lacking something. How many things can you say that about?

None that I know of as a rule. In fact I would have to say the only time I have personally experienced it was the result of a mistake and not on purpose.

Which only makes my me want this option all the more. But getting it is never easy that is for sure.

As for when it happened to me, it was when I was trying to get the best of a political opponent. I was working so hard to arrange a way to sabotage the guy.

You know totally ruin his character? Now that would have been glorious. And it did happen.

Only not by my plans. What took place is that I had all this garbage peddled to smear the guy's reputation and it wasn't even remotely true.

But that is the nature of gossip you understand. It doesn't have to be true. Just has to be believed.

Honestly, that is the priority with such tactics. It does have to be believable though. That is the most critical part.

Well in this case what happened was that nobody ended up believing the stuff I was peddling. And that really disappointed me.

I mean okay I did get carried a way a little, like about him having an affair with an alien. I admit that did sound good at the time, but was totally rejected by everyone.

The thing was, that here I sat and trying to regroup with new lies when suddenly it turned out that the guy admitted to actually claming he was an alien. Apparently, he has a small problem with reality.

But that sure didn't upset me any. After all I ran with opposition at that point. With him a guest at that mental ward the citizens were prudent enough to not vote for him.

Such is the nature of fate at times. When you least expect it you get a break. Now if only I had a way to make that happen when I wanted. Ah, that would totally be a joy. Maybe some day!

JUST SAY MAYBE

Now some people have this thing about just say no. It is a wonderful idea in theory. Not very realistic though.

Sort of like that deal about just do it. Another little pearl of wisdom that doesn't work in reality. Well not to me.

I guess the way I feel about it is that if saying it was enough then you wouldn't really have to say it would you? Then you would in reality, just do it.

However, we all human nature being such as it is, that never works out that way. Nope not even close.

Instead we just love to talk don't we? Now if you could change the world by using only your lips it would work big times.

Might get complicated though. Because after all what if one person's lips didn't say what another person's lips agree to say?

Then you would have all kinds of weird possible consequences. Which could be entertaining in a demented way, but not in terms of making things work right.

Fortunately there is the reality that life doesn't work that way. So even though waving a wand with our tongue would be wonderful, it just doesn't make a difference in terms of getting changes made.

I would like to consider making a different approach realistic on this. One where the person took time to be practical.

I want to see us engage in the art of something like say, New Year's maybe vows. Leave the door open so you don't have to feel embarrassed by the lack of will power.

See that is no big problem, just leaves us the option of saying, oh well and feeling good about it. Who can ask for more than that?

Admittedly, this is a bit of a challenge to adjust to. After all it doesn't drip with confidence.

It is more like let us march so-so. Hardly impressive. But that is okay. I'm happy with facing the reality.

Not that I have lots of people sharing that opinion. Only what can I say? This doesn't work for everyone else.

My reply is so what? Which really is the best part of this whole deal. You don't have to care if you admit you don't care.

Dreams and Reality

Oh yeah, this is a big deal. You got to be able to define what works and what does not work. Now without that little detail you can be like totally screwed.

Because you can't get from here to there. Well not in terms of reality. Maybe in your dreams, but never reality.

Only despite the fact that some know this it doesn't mean they believe it. They think you just like "feel" the way to get from one point to another. As if some miracle it going to make it happen without any effort. Stupid huh? Well people do it.

And I'm sorry to report I am guilty of doing it myself. Way too often. Which can really suck at times.

I don't know, you just get used to this stupidity of thinking can actually achieve some brilliant victory and never once plan a think. Dumb luck is not the most reliable source of success in the world.

Might be for some, but not for me. Which we should all understand, but many times we prefer to not accept it. It just is too much of a pain.

So instead it becomes so much more fun just to speculate and make it all sound realistic even if we don't have any kind of plan. We just are going to fly as they say, by the seat of our pants.

Which translates into not having a parachute. And you know flying without a parachute is not the smartest choice you can make.

Not that people are necessarily known for making smart choices. Well not always at least. There are too many occasions that stupid kind of goes with choice.

This is only made even worse by the people who decide to try and explain this whole thing. For you can be guaranteed that they will not be able to do so in a way that adds anything in a good way to the process.

It is another case of terminal stupidity. Only it is made worse by the fact that too much of the time is spent making sure you tell the whole world about it.

This is naturally the final added element of moron infection to make this whole deal utterly shameful. And I can tell you it doesn't make me thrilled.

All of which reduces down to the element of stupidity where life is not a source of pride. I just would prefer to avoid making this the primary thought of who to get through the day.

And all I have to do is try and convince others that stupid is not what stupid should be.

BEASTLY

Now this is not a thought that inspires happiness to me. Honestly, I wish I could say it did, but it doesn't.

For me the problem is related to the concept of how something that is beastly is not a good thing. Probably because it gets ugly from my point of view. And that is never a good thing.

Well at least that is how I view it. Animal logic is not one I associate with being reasonable or good. I suppose because to me it is symbolic of minds devoted to other than rational behavior.

Why do I need to belabor such facts? I guess because it matters in terms of how I have to cope with reality. And let me tell you, that is never easy with the people I work with.

In this I'm not speaking of my employees mind you. Nope. And I'm not speaking of the voters either. That would be too easy.

What I'm referring to is the people I have to deal with that feel they have a right to make demands upon my time. Which translates into businessmen mainly.

Not all of them you understand. Just a certain group. The ones who feel like they are the center of the world and just keep feeling the rest of us should appreciate their greatness.

There are too many of these types wherever you happen to go. Honestly, that is not the way it should be.

Okay when you got bucks it is a given that you have a right to act in a certain way. I understand that.

But does that mean you have the right to think the world belongs to you? These clowns do. And all the time too.

What do I do? I try to cope. And that means lying at times. Well most of the time you understand this problem.

But not in terms of expecting to stay that way. Instead you expect it to be a temporary condition.

At least I do. Kind of dumb huh? Yeah, I know it is not what I should think. People are to inclined to always stay the same.

That really doesn't keep the animals happy you understand. I wish it did. But they never will being herded where you want them to go.

My choice for a place for them is a slaughter house.

PLEASE PASS THE...

Well you surely need a chance at this. That simple joy of being able to bless the world by passing on the blame to somebody else.

There is no feeling more wonderful in my mind that a chance to be sure somebody else gets the blame for you problems. Admittedly there are some narrow minded souls out there that would presume this is a bad thing.

Hard to imagine actually but it is true. And for me it is no big deal. I never let anyone have the opportunity to complain about this detail.

Instead I do my best to be sure somebody else isn’t even a aware when I am in one of these moods. Just use the old distraction method.

Yeah, that always blesses. You can be sure of that. I never forgo the joy of this type of experience.

Others don’t necessarily think of this as uplifting I guess. They will frown upon such distractions.

But then there are just so many bores in the world. The type of people who are always limited in their thinking.

They seem to feel that you really should act with some degree of morals and ethics. You ever seen a person get a break from doing that?

Honestly does that actually help anyone? Some will preach about it like you are not worth much if you don’t try to be nice.

For me those are the ones who normally make my list of people who I first try to blame for things. They just make such wonderful targets.

Yeah, I know it sucks, but lots of things in life do. So why make this any different? And if you make sure somebody with dreams learns that sucks, then all the better.

Now I do admit that isn’t necessarily going to be popular with some. But so what? Yep, that is what I say, so what!

Now that I have managed to clarify my view of this the time has come to savor another rare opportunity to bless. Yep, I sure do love every occasion when I can pass on some valuable lesson to my fellow man.

Not that my acts of thoughtfulness ever earn me much in the way of thanks. They just never seem to appreciate the lessons I pass on.

Alas, there are just times when you have to accept doing good deeds without recognition.

THE LAST ROLL

Well like a lot of things, there are more than one type of roll. So when I say roll, depending on who you are is going to determine what it means to you.

Which is exactly my point. As a politician it is important for me to always appreciate what frame of reference a person has for rolls.

I might be talking to someone like the Reverend Analbe. With him a roll means literally a roll. The kind you eat. When dealing with him, I just know he going to expect to be fed. Plain and simple.

Now if I'm dealing with someone like Mr. Mammongrabber, he will be thinking a roll of cash to stuff in his pocket. No big mystery with that. I just have to help him find the place where he can get it. Or be his errand boy to fetching some roll he has already arranged to collect.

Then there are always the, ahem, ones who believe in er, flying rolls. The kind that come from some other planet. They are always green or orange and speak some alien language, plus are trying to plot to take over the world. I don't get too excited about these ones.

Oh those are just part of the fun options I get to work with. There are the ones sort of like Reverend Analbe who think in terms of a roll that somewhere up yonder. In a place where if you are on that roll you get to go to heaven. If not, you in big trouble.

Funny thing is they love the regular rolls too. And the rolls of cash also. So they sort of cover all facets in one way or another.

In any case, I do try to be sure I never forget which person prefers which roll. And along the way, if I manage to get it all handled and satisfy everyone else, I might work it so I get enough money for a different kind of roll.

That would be a "Rolls," as in Rolls Royce. The biggest problem is making sure nobody finds out I have it.

They can get really grumpy and ask all kinds of crazy, embarrassing questions if I flash a Rolls. Life can be such a pain in that regard.

So far though with rolls you eat and the roll of cash I have managed to bribe enough people so I get to hide funds towards my idea of a rolls. Yeah, I love it. All this fun and no one I can even tell.

Except the people reading this and in case they need a roll, then that is great. I don't mind sharing.

Providing you don't mind contributing to my idea of a Rolls.

IN THE WILL

Wonderful thoughts abound for me in the concept of a will. It is for me a form of mortal blackmail.

By that I mean it is a way to get those who think they will profit when you die to be nice to you. A nice way to get those who you want to punish in some extra cruel way to submit to your abuse.

Now on a broader scale it is also applies to anyone that things sucking up to you will end with them benefiting in some special way. It is a will too, only the type that has to do with one's will of choice. Clever huh?

I thought so. And it fits me so darn good. I just love when I can make people grovel in hopes it will get them some benefit.

Which is really something that makes it all worth while. I just always savor those special times when I can smile at the oddities of life. How human behavior has so many different levels.

There is the one we claim in terms of what we should do. Yep, the joyful and noble ramblings that represent what we are told life should be like.

Oh they sound so cool. And impressive. Now they may not represent reality, but darn it all, they sound so fantastic.

Then we do get past that point of fantasy to reality. The place where we live. Not quite the great place as the heaven we wish were true.

But darn it all, we are going to savor it just the same. Because, well it just needs to be the way things ought to be.

Which is find as long as nobody expects something for nothing. That happens with this whole will thing.

It is just of form of selfishness. A place that is a mirror of what we really cherish. Pretty disgusting in some ways.

But that is okay. I mean we all need our fantasies. As for me, the best fantasy is one I make reality.

Basically by dangling some form of will out there for them to grab for. I just never let them reach it.

Anxiety being such a beautiful thing when it is involved with greed. Which is my form of selfishness. Ah, to be such a joy in life isn't it? Well admitting doesn't change much, just makes it fun to read.

WAITER THERE IS A...

Ah, the joy of eating out. Just makes me drool at times when I think of savoring the joys of snacking on some tasty meal that you don't have to fix.

And then there is the service too. One can be sad over having the satisfaction from being waited on by somebody. Really does leave one all satisfied and joyful.

At least it does for me. I can't speak for everyone, but it really does work for me. But then anything that gives me a smile does that.

In this case it I guess the need is a little extra special. Some things you can do all the time, even if you wish you could.

But eating is a different story. You have to eat. So you might as well try to enjoy it. And doing it with class is even more special.

That is how I prefer to deal with it. Just be able to sit back and have a really good excuse to be a glutton.

Now what could be sweeter than that? I'm telling you that is just the most wonderful thing I can think of for a person to savor.

The ability to sit down and look forward to a nice big meal and feel it is a good thing. Just makes me all excited in the process.

And having be able to share that little aspect makes it all the better. Because at that point I enter the restaurant in full anticipation that it will be a glorious experience.

Of course in such situations it seems like the one thing, which doesn't happen is that I end up with a good meal. Sort of like the help know what I want and plot to work against it.

So it means I end up with the worst help on the planet. Really like if they are going to have the worst day in the world it will happen when I am there.

This does not make me happy. Because it will not in anyway give me a reason to smile. Which is not going to happen in such situations.

Does this in any way keep me from enjoying myself? Well I do try and not let it. That becomes a battle though.

I win on some occasions, and lose on others. But the nice thing is with me having the tip holding over their head, you can be sure I use that to my advantage.

So with a hint of wealth to tease, they normally manage to find their brains. Long enough to at least behave till my meal is over.
And sometimes I even actually leave a tip. Depending on if I'm going to visit the place again.

FUN IT AIN'T

This is one thing I have to admit that I could live without. I mean the reality is that fun is not supposed to be painful. Not if you are doing it right.

Which is not so often what happens as far as I can tell. Well that is where I live. See the big problem is that dull is in. Meaning it is popular.

Maybe popular is a bit too much. I would say it is more that dull is expected. As if being dull is a good thing in terms of citizenship.

I don't regard it that way, but bland sure is the order of the day on so many occasions. And that is not a fun thing to me.

Complicating it is the times when well, people seem to really thrive on coming up with new ways to be boring. Only they call it fun.

Which is not what I will ever call it. That is made worse you understand by the fact that I have to end up attending all this crap.

See, when they get involved with this they decide to make this a public event. Like it is never enough for one person to do it. All have to.

And that means I get stuck lying a lot. Oh yeah, that is my only survival. I have to take time to be sure I don't miss out on all their ideas of fun.

I didn't say I wanted it that way. Just it is all I get to accept. And you can bet they do not in any way want to bother with my idea of fun.

Okay, I will confess that you can't afford to have the ordinary public accept my idea of fun. Well not if I want to get reelected.

So I have to keep that form of fun for private moments. And let me tell you, there is one thing I do not want to do it is to give up my fun times.

Plus the more time I end up spending with these events the more time I end up needing my version of fun. And sometimes I just have to really work at it to squeeze in enough time.

Mainly because somebody is going to make sure that they take as much of my time as possible being stuck in this stupid idea of fun. As if my being there is going to improve anything.

It only bogs me down and that never helps. Which is okay. I just survive as best I can with such fun dreams about entering the fun zone.

That's a place I can talk about.

ADORABLE

Okay, this is like, one of those little cute and fuzzy things. You know where you have some kitten or puppy you are suppose to get all sappy about.

That's all fine and good to feel that way I suppose. And it does have its place I imagine. Not with me you understand. Cute and fuzzy for me is sucker bait.

What do I mean by that? Simple, people use those little cuties to melt your brain so you will do whatever they want. It sucks from my view.

Only because they are about baby animals, you can't call it a con job. Nope, that would be regarded as tacky. And nobody wants that type of image, you can go for it.

My point to all of this is that it is an acceptable form of intimidation. Nobody can hold up some puppy and have you treat it like it was a gun.

Now in reality that is what it happens to be the case. Just that the gun barks or purrs and for bullets. And nobody ever complains they are feeling threatened in the process.

The same sort of goes for babies. They are treated as adorable. So what the heck that means you just got to feel a mushy when they hold up the baby.

Come on people wake up here. Adorable is not necessarily cool. It might be cuddly in its own demented way, but that is to be expected.

As for me, well I use these methods for my own purposes. You know to help cultivate some image of me being a great guy.

Adorable always goes with being a great person. Basically, only somebody who is loving and caring will love what is adorable.

Nobody talks about the times when some little fido pees on you and how that sucks. Or holding some baby just before he or she poops in his diapers. And you try smiling while getting a whiff of that!

Let me tell you those are not memories that excite me. I tolerate them because as a politician I have to.

In any case that just doesn't work for me privately. No dogs or cats in my house that I have to deal with.

We have them, but I never go near them unless it is during a photo opp. As for babies, well I am grateful my kids are older.

I suffered during the diaper phase. Wish I could have avoided it, but kid just don't seem to be able to learn not to poop.

EXTRA THICK

A big problem at times. Those moments when you know you have to contend with stupid people who are extra stupid.

I'm not talking about the ones that make you go huh? I'm speaking of the type that make you scratch you head and wonder if that person ever had any brains. Oh yeah that kind of stupid.

It is not a wonderful event to deal with that type of moron. They can be so stupid they don't even know they are stupid.

What is amazing is how such people honestly often think they are geniuses. Oh yeah they are complete experts on everything. And even if they are totally wrong the will never admit it.

Now it is one thing to have pride. It is good to belief in one's ability. But that is not the same as sitting and thinking you are incapable of making mistakes.

Like God is your twin and you are blessing the world by showing up when the mood strikes. Yeah that really works for me.

Actually, part of the problem is that there are so many different types of smarts. You can have a whole string of academic degrees that say you are brilliant, but don't have a clue in terms of practical wisdom.

And if they don't bother to take their brain and sift it through reality you can have a really big problem. Which is that they will not listen to reason.

Yep, that is so much fun to work with. I just love it. Not seriously though. I really hate in fact.

But that won't change anytime soon. We can count on that. Which really works in my favor.

For the more geniuses I can meet like that the more suckers I can count on dealing with. Yep, those are the con man's blue plate specials. At least for me.

Maybe not for everyone else, but it does give me a nice snack at times. And the joy is knowing how they end up paying for it.

Only with their pride they will never admit it. They will just keep acting like they are boss and smart.

Meanwhile, I'll be depositing their contribution in the bank. And if I'm really lucky I get to head off to their house afterwards and celebrate with the wife. Yeah, that is another brain dead area of joy at times.

OFF TO SEE THE...

Well for anyone who knows the story of the Wizard of Oz, then naturally inspires a certain image. But let us take a moment to truly reflect on that story.

Basically, you got one lost young girl, in the company of a scarecrow who thinks he is an idiot, a tin man who is without any feelings and a lion who is afraid of his shadow. Essentially, four totally dysfunctional lives all trying to head for some place where they can get help.

Now has any of them actually met this guy before? Do they have any witnesses who can testify to the fact that he can do anything?

Course not. That would be too logical. Instead they all have this fantasy that their miserable broken lives are going to suddenly get fixed if they meet this guy.

So what they do is trot off to this city where the guy is rumored to hang out. Now do they bother to worry about things like money, employment, food, housing or transportation? Nope.

And they reach the city, get free public transportation, free this, free that and not once saying thank you. Now are they the least bit grateful for this kindness?

Not as far as I can tell. Instead they want more. They expect to be given a big shot of welfare somebody else's expense.

Then when they do meet this Wizard he turns out to be a phony. Somebody they let sucker them into working for a few bucks.

In the end, the story has a happy ending. Four mooches commit murder against some old hag.

Then they come back and get off without any prison time. After which they all get more handouts and according to the story, everyone lives happily ever after.

Course the old hag didn't quite do very well. But just like in real society, nobody cares about the old folks.

I bet the four criminals who didn't even have to stand trial ended up getting her social security too. They never mention that part do they? Hah, what a shock.

And we wonder why people would be so messed up today. How can they be expected to function when they end up with that kind of story for inspiration!

Well, you can think of it as a simple and charming, but me, I just get the shakes at how this whole tale has such terrible undercurrents of social unrest. And I hope the rest of you will give it some thought. Maybe later I'll get into the terrible implications of Frosty the Snowman too.

LOOKING FOR ANSWERS

Searching is easy to understand. You got to go and look for something. How tough is that to figure out?

Apparently very tough for some. Not sure why, but it is. All you have to do is LOOK! And naturally looking requires checking a wide variety of places.

Some might not care for that part. Because that means the highs as in the cool places that get you high and the low as in the places that really depress others.

You notice I didn't mention there being any lows in terms of me being depressed. Hope you got that.

For it wasn't an accident. Or perhaps I should say that for me it is more like accidentally on purpose.

Yeah, I mean this shouldn't surprising you would think. I've never in any way try to pretend that I am a lazy and selfish troll.

So the way I figure this, it is only a matter of being practical. Yeah, I think it is a good and fair approach.

I have no problem with the high and low part. You just have to focus on making sure you keep these things correctly understood.

Essentially, what can I say. For me the search is about making sure I find the things that are good.

You don't have to look for the crap. Heck, there are too many willing to show you were to find that.

What is hard to find is the good stuff. People do not like to share it. They find it for themselves and hold onto it.

And naturally you can be sure they won't share. No way. I know I wouldn't either. Yeah, I know it sucks, but what do you want me to say?

Should I pretend this is not the way it works? Come on, you know it is. So why not be truthful about it?

I just don't figure it does any good to tell others to be like me. Besides, if I got them to make sense of it all, they would then dare to do like me. And that will never do.

Yep, I so enjoy making others just groping for those dark spots and I'll make sure they enjoy them too.

Meanwhile, I'll be over getting high somewhere and smiling.