ONE MORE CHANCE

For me this is a term that suggests you are going to draw a line in the sand and no longer tolerate some behavior that is simply totally unacceptable if it ever happens again. So you are going to give the person one more chance while the whole time wishing you call down fire from heaven to barbecue the individual's behind.

Therein to me is the fundamental problem. In reality for whatever reason there are times we are saps. Essentially, we ourselves to be a victim for one reason or another. And so when we vow to give the person one more chance it is almost like a prayer that we saying to hope this time the person will honestly act differently. Naturally they almost never do. So we truly left to feel extra stupid in some ways, but not in a way that we will admit to.

When do the one more chance occasions happen the most? At times when dealing with somebody we trust who probably doesn't deserve our trust. What is it that prompts us to trust them? It can be any number of issues, but I think in part it is because we think in so doing we will benefit in some way. This can so often be for reason that are emotionally driven too as opposed to logical. It is all part of being human, which includes the right to be stupid at times.

I can myself sit here and take time to digest this situation and still end up in the one more time situations myself. Yep, knowing the facts doesn't keep me from doing like everyone else. Isn't that just so darn wonderful?

Okay, don't answer that. I don't need you to. I spent enough time not looking in the mirror and lying about the facts myself, so I don't need any help with knowing the truth I prefer not to know about.

Still, I guess I feel it deserves to be mentioned in a posting. I suppose because I'm silly enough to think that by doing so it will make things easier for some other clown who might change by what I read. That's hardly all that realistic, but it sounds good.

The question might be how do we avoid such situations? That seems like a reasonable thing to ask. Maybe not very easy to answer or an response we are going to truly want to hear, but a reasonable question just the same.

And I guess for me that translates into the simple fact that there are times when we probably need to give ourselves one more chance. If it works when dealing with others why not apply it to ourselves.

One can even sit down with a small mirror look in it and give a real big lecture to the person in the mirror. Then don't forget to say that I promise speech to do beter.

And if you are in the mood you can write up a contract that you witness yourself sign where you outline what you will do to change. Afterwards, of course, you can throw the mirror and paper away since you will do your best to forget them both anyway. At least you can tell yourself you'll only do it one more time.