NAME IT AND BLAME IT

Is there anything more glorious and exciting than the blame game? As a politician you can be sure I love it. There just isn’t a more satisfying hobby than finding new and exciting ways to blame to be sure somebody else gets in trouble for my mistakes. Yep, you got that right, I absolutely love stabbing people in the back if it saves my butt from getting in trouble.

Is that fair? For me, absolutely! And you can be sure that being a politician I plan ahead so that I have more than a few people to see get the blame for anything I screw up. That is the beauty of working for the government, I have all that red tape I can use to cover up my blunders by tying it around somebody else’s throat!

I can’t say that is the reason I actually began to choose politics as a career, but it was a factor. I knew I was simply much too prone to making mistakes and far too inept and other things to ever achieve a level of efficiency that I had to lie about in my speeches. So instead the simply way out, the smart cowards way out was to find some other poor sucker to take the fall.

Perhaps the best kind of person to blame is the one who isn’t even there. In my case for example that happens to be the boys at the state capital or the federal government. I mean most sane people seem to believe the bureaucrats in Washington are slime balls anyway so they never mind when I say it was their fault. That sure has gotten me out of trouble on more than one occasion.

Oh I do confess that at times you know when some congressman or senator comes to town that I have a few fears about them finding out how I have bad mouthed them behind their backs. But I always manage to lie about it convincingly enough to make them think I’m really on their side. Well at least as long as there is a chance I can get something out of them by sucking up to them.

Yeah, it’s dirty work at time. All that thinking up an excuse and giving it a decent name and then finding the right person to blame for it all. But I do manage and that is what counts, right?

I imagine there are a few people who might find my approach disgusting. Go ahead and be stupid and see if I care. I mean I sit here as Mayor and suck people dry and lie about it. I get all rewards and none of the blame. Meanwhile you work at your crappy job and are probably one of the scapegoats for a scumbag of a boss who underpays you and blames you for all his mistakes. Tell me you’re better off for trying to be honest!

Enjoy the delusion if it works for you. It doesn’t work for me that’s for sure. I prefer inventing my own fantasy. The type where I get all the benefits and somebody else gets all the blame. I name it. Good for me. You can call it whatever you want.

I know that isn’t very noble. And you can savor that delusion it makes a difference. As for me, well I prefer the rewards of the blame game. Noble is nice, but profiting at somebody else’s expense is for me even better!