FIT AS A POODLE

Yes, you read the title to this posting correctly. I said fit as a poodle. Not that I’m claiming to be an expert on poodle fitness, just making an observation that poodles aren’t symbols of fitness. That is to say they are cute and cuddly, but hardly associated with something like strength and fierceness. At least to me.

So for the sake of this posting when I say fit as a poodle, I’m speaking of people who are in many ways are appealing for being cute and cuddly, but not a real threat. Being nice does have a certain value. However, it isn’t much value when you need somebody to be a shark.

We have this organization in our city that is sort of secret organization. They go by the name of STINK, which stands for something, I forget, but they are devoted to trying to save the world from anything that is filthy. Part of the effort includes running the garbage trucks in the city and also this diaper service.

Beyond that function they have some secret agenda to try and stop people from doing things like littering. As Mayor I’m complaining about that part, but I have to admit this outfit hardy hires the sanest or fittest people on the planet.

Which brings me to the part that relates to this posting. These people are loveable fuzz balls in their right I suppose, but just not exactly threatening. We are talking about guys that have a figure like an egg. They would make good models for say the Pillsbury Dough Boy, but hardly as super heroes.

About the only redeeming aspect is that they aren’t dangerous. Oh they do try to help out with problems, but I wouldn’t call their efforts necessarily memorable.

To me they are the personification of being fit as a poodle. You might want one of them as a pet, but you would never call upon them to save the world. Oh maybe to clean it if you didn’t worry about it getting completely clean, but just enough to look neat compared to messy.

Why did I even mention this part? I guess to demonstrate how tolerant I have to be as a Mayor. I mean I have to put up with people that are fit as a poodle. I reckon I should be grateful that they don’t act like poodles. Otherwise there could be some very embarrassing incidents with things like fire hydrants.

Basically I’m rambling because I’m trying to stir up some sympathy in some way for my life as Mayor. I don’t imagine it is working though, is it?

Who knows, perhaps you have some poodle types in your town too. Just be sure they are housebroken and that you give them plenty of, um, food or whatever keeps them from barking too much. It is a little helpful tip from your Uncle Rash in hopes that it will keep the poodles of your life from crapping on you. Even a poodle has to take a dump once and a while, no matter how cute they are.