THE WAY GROAN

Ever have to cope with too many self appointed experts in your life? Believe me if that is a blessing then I have to be one of the most blessed people on my planet.

Okay let me set the stage for you so to speak. I live is a small city. The name being Mediocrity does not translate that we are the hub of excellence or anything else for that matter that qualifies as outstanding. Heck the plain fact is for a lazy and greedy guy like me I’d be in big trouble in some other city where people really cared what happened in the city.

But for me it works. I’m happy not having to work. I’m happy just playing at life in a land where I can pretty much goof off most of the time and not worry.

The one thing I don’t want to do is actually think very hard about much of anything that requires me to work. I don’t need that kind of aggravation or sweat. So naturally I’m content in my mediocre status quo condition and on a few occasions thrill myself by actually managing to succeed at something.

Still I have no delusions about my lack of greatness. And that means I get a chance to relax and not have to beat myself up that I haven’t bother to come close in behavior to the campaign lies I say about myself.

Now having said all of that I hope you appreciate that I am not alone in that kind of lack of talent, genius or quality in my city. Actually it pretty much describes just about everyone I know in our city. For me that is a good thing. Otherwise I might have to contend with somebody smart enough and sneaky enough to try and take away my job as Mayor.

My big complaint in that regard is having to tolerate so many people who despite being other than rising stars of unparalleled worth are in reality some slug of an asteroid just poking around the space between their ears. Only in their minds they are experts and geniuses and want to bless me with their lunacy. (If you listen carefully you might even hear me sigh at this point.)

I suppose the law of averages suggests that if a person guessed enough times sooner or later they would be right at least once. But the law of averages for these clowns doesn’t appear to apply.

And what really drives me nuts is when these same people manage to convince other idiots to support their idea. Naturally they wait till they have a really big following and then they try to come to me as one insane throng bent on sharing their gems of supposed wisdom about whatever stroke of genius the one person thinks they have.

So I listen and smile and do my best not to groan when I hear what is obviously the contrived and collective fruit of folly. I can’t tell them that naturally. I just lie and then rejoice when I managed to find someway to keep their freight train of stupidity from stopping anyway in terms of action. When I succeed, I can relax and no I spared my citizens from a blunder waiting to happen. When I fail, well I just have to work twice as hard to find somebody to blame for the mistakes because the jerk who thought up the idea sure isn’t going to accept any blame.