SPENDING IT ON TODAY

Ah when it comes to the word spending I have no boundaries in terms of time! To me there is no moment in history that does merit the honor of a splurge. Er, just do me a favor and don’t share that little tidbit with anybody from my town. I just gave this big speech about how we were going to reform city government and cut out the waste. (I was speaking of using a paper shredder to get rid of junk mail! But I didn’t tell them that.)

Now please I don’t want to hear any cries of hypocrisy. I have enough time ignoring the ones I hear from my wife and kids. So give me a break will yah?

Well heck I don’t know why I would ask that question. I mean I know you would have much reason to toss me any sympathy bones. Even if I suck up real good, bark, roll over and play dead I can imagine I would still not have gotten that kind of response.

Which is okay I suppose. I do pride myself on knowing my audience or at least those who are sneaky and as prone to bend the rules as I am who will have a soft spot on their behind big enough to let them sit down and tolerate my ramblings. Hey that was rather clever, thank you very much. Oh hush it!

I guess before I get totally sidetracked by any of this detour of rambling about my two faces (that you know of) I ought to return to the original subject. That being naturally the issue of spending “it” on today.

Of course I never got around to actually defining “it” did I? See I got you on that one, you weren’t paying attention now where you?

The ‘it’ part is really the most important part too. For it can cover a panoply of possibilities. It can mean money of course. That is always very essential. I never rule out the need to spend money. Well as long as it is somebody else’s. Which is far more uplifting than having to squander my own resources on my compulsive behavior.

There are other “its” that are to me just as important in their own way. I’m speaking of its such as time. And wasting other people’s time and labor is such a wonderful experience, let me tell you. I just can’t get enough of that pure satisfaction of the times when I get to revel in knowing I indulged my demon of gluttony in terms of materialism and did so at somebody else’s expense. It just warms the recesses of my heart, which is pretty good consider most people think my heart is made of cold and stone.

I think the bottom line on this thing is I give priority to immediate gratification. And I know I’m not alone. It just feels so darn good!

The rest of the aspect of spending on the present, well they make for good speeches, but it still comes down to giving into the urge to enjoy today and say screw tomorrow! Oh I would never tell my voters you understand. I’m not stupid enough to be that honest just in case there was an odd chance they might actually be paying attention!