NO PLACE LIKE A PHONE

These days you got to wonder with cell phones practically glued to so many ears if this isn’t the reality. I do find myself fascinated by the obsession we have to need to ramble constantly on the phone as if every breath requires a comment.

And there are times when I sit somewhere and hear the person on the phone making sure they talk loud enough to be heard by everyone. Frankly what I hear is dribble most of the time. I’m sorry, but listening to some brain teenager jabbering about how hot some bimbo television star is doesn’t qualify to me as brilliance.

What I guess really bothers me is that because everyone else depends on the stupid cell phones I got to have one too. I loved the old days when I just used a pager. Then if I didn’t want to talk to somebody I just didn’t answer the page.

I wish that worked that way with my cell phone. Oh I do have voice mail. But there are times when I honestly have to talk to someone and so I have to make sure I answer a call when I get it.

So I’m stuck, a cell phone prey for all the predators of babble to reach. About the only good thing in that regard is the joy that comes from knowing the person can’t see me when I’m snorting after I see who is calling.

That is why I have not given in to the lure of the new camera phones. I prefer a little cloak of privacy in that regards.

The one thing I know is that the whole epidemic of cell phone use is not going to go away. There is no cure, no hope that somehow this will all come to an end. It will only get worse. Er, I guess worse isn’t the perfect choice of words is it? I suppose it might be better to say this is a disease nobody wants to get healed from experiencing.

I suppose I could um do a little imagining of what the future of phone technology will come to somebody. Perhaps having a cell phone surgically implanted in our brains when we are born so we don’t even have to carry one, just think the number and say hello. Yeah I think I even remember a movie where they had that idea.

Actually I’m toying with the idea that some really sick jerk is behind the cell phone crazed. He wants us all utterly addicted to cell phones and then at the right moment he’ll figure some way to send out some frequency so no cell phone will work. Afterwards he’ll sit back and laugh his rear end off while watching people going nuts when their cell phones don’t work. Perhaps he’ll even offer to “save” us from cell phone hell by offering us to give back our cell phone connection in return to becoming his slave.

Gee I guess I better stop talking along those lines. Otherwise there might actually be some lunatic out there who didn’t think of that option who is nodding and thinking, that is a heck of an idea.

In the meantime, I still going to tote my cell phone around and smile knowing that the only things keeping me from losing it with this cell phone insanity is voice mail and caller id!