HOW DEEP IS IT?

This can be many thing, but for me it has to do with the amount of crap you have to step in. And that is totally dependent upon you know how many lies I have to tell.

The more I have to spread, the thicker the crap gets. Keeping it from stinking is the hard part.

That can take a powerful amount of explaining. Even more so if you are dealing with someone who knows crap when the smell it.

Those are the ones that you have extra trouble telling them there is nothing in the air. They can be so annoying when they start asking for things like facts.

That is when I really have to grin and bear it. As in make up a bigger lie and make it look like I'm telling the truth.

Oh man does that risk making me sweat. And if there is one thing that doesn't make my lies easier it is when I'm sweating.

Nope, that never helps my credibility. I normally have to come up with some stupid explanation like I just came from the gym.

That one gets harder and harder to get them to believe each time I end up having to buy a bigger pair of pant. And those excuses that I have a problem retaining water really doesn't help.

But I am hopeful. I do savor the moment when I can just pile it on without hearing a grown. And even better when I am able to do with it a smile that isn't trying to hide some snickers.

It really does give some nice moments when this all doesn't end with my slipping on a pile of my own crap. That can hurt.

I have been able to avoid that most of the time. Primarily by making sure somebody else falls in it first.

Hard to do when they are other than cooperative. Yeah, they truly can prove to be such a pain if they start questioning everything.

Once and a while it does work though. Always grateful for such occasions. They do help to make up for the other times.

It is just a matter of how often I can get away with it. Often works best when they are fertilizing some lawn or near a dairy.

Just hard to be sure those happen when you need them.