BEEN THERE, GLAD I DIDN'T DO IT

Oh man, let me tell you if there is one time to go whew, this is it. That's because you sit back and are sooo grateful that you missed out on a chance to be stupid.

Kind of gives you a whole of reason to smile. The only feeling that is better is when you see someone else blow it instead.

I love the joy of lecturing somebody on making a bone head move. It just feels so great when I can do it knowing I barely missed doing the same thing.

Naturally, I never tell them that. And with enough practice I don't even have to feel the least bit like a hypocrite. Oh I didn't say that wasn't what I was doing, just that I didn't admit it.

There is just something satisfying about being in that glorious position where you can feel so relieved you lucked out and didn't screw up. Just seeing that look of shame on somebody else's face really makes it so joyful.

But then there are those darn times when you luck out and there is nobody else around that screwed up. Then you have those "that close" feelings like if you just missed having a major car accident.

So you sit and fight the need to shake just a tad. The whole time naturally the image of that moment replays constantly in your head.

Which is of course hard to get rid of at times. But with practice there are ways you can cope better than others.

And I may even decide to one day publish a book on the best ways of adjusting to these types of trauma. Perhaps it would make a great self-help book.

Yeah, Uncle Rash's guide to surviving stupid head butting moments. Hmmm, that would work.

Sounds like it has real potential. But then I always feel that way about my creations. Which unfortunately hasn't been an opinion shared by editors when I have tried to bless them with my creations.

Maybe I'll just put it on some web site. All I would have to do is come up with an appropriate and catchy name.

Well, until I can manage that. I will continue my vigil of savoring those I'm glad it is you and not me situations. They will give me plenty of cause to enjoy when fate taps somebody else on the shoulder for a change.

Which is another of those special times I savor. When fate isn't a jerk bother me. More reason to smile.