ARMPIT PHILOSOPHY

That's my term for when you try to rationalize what really stinks. And you keep doing it even after you deodorant quits working, if it ever worked in the first place.

Shakespeare once said how a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. There is a constant of wisdom in that comment about how we can't change our real essence.

But still, it doesn't mean we don't try. So even when the BO gets bad enough to make your eyes water, if you want to pretend everything is okay you'll figure some way to justify it.

Which is the real joy. At least for me it is. I love listening to the countless ways people succeed in trying to make something smell sweet, no matter how much it really stinks.

A word of advice buddy, buy lots of air freshener and stay outside as much as possible. Trust me that works as good as sitting there and lying about the smell.

Does this really come up that much? Heck in my line of work as a Mayor it happens all the time.

Perhaps the fact that I do live in a small city contributes to the fact, but honestly we got plenty of reasons for having lots of armpit philosophy. Perhaps if life in general didn't have the problem of too many bad orders it would be different.

But let's face it, in the small city where you have fewer possibilities you got all the more reason to feel like sucks without lots of chance for improvement. So taking a nice whiff of armpit philosophy really does help to forget what reeks.

And if you get real skilled at it you can manage to completely arrange to smell other armpit philosophy and not mind it too much. That mind sound disgusting, but you might be surprised how fabulous such a routine can be with enough practice.

Now in the big world outside of my little pond perhaps you have trouble getting to know others well enough to be comfortable with the armpit philosophy. You know you just have to be extra relaxed with some people to accept their version of thinking what stinks really smells okay.

So cheer up if you need it. There will always be enough deodorant to pass around if you need to.

And if you happen to be short of enough supply, I'm sure I could help. After all, in Mediocrity we've gotten so good at this whole deal that we don't even use deodorant any longer.

We just manage to pretend good enough that we can even call an armpit something other than an armpit. Hey, now that is the kind of philosophy I can enjoy.