REACH OUT AND,,,

The Limburger version of this does not involve a phone or simple touching. This is stress relief for dealing with morons! So for me it is about (mentally at least) reaching out and strangling someone.

I do sometimes wish I could get the boys who write the laws to make amendment on the one about justifiable homicide to include doing it to somebody who is utterly stupid. But then in our society and especially where I live that would end with bodies all over the place.

Why is it that you can break a regular law such as robbing or stealing and get punished, but if you steal and rob me of my time by being stupid that is okay? I think it is a crime too, but nobody ever gets convicted of it.

It is as they say, “to dream.” And trust me where I live and the people I have to deal with that is definitely something I dream about a lot.

In some situations I have even gone so far as to imagine reaching out and touching someone with a few ounces of lead. I can see it now. First we offer them a discount to something. It doesn’t matter what since as long as they hear the word discount or free they rush to take advantage.

So I leave a trail of discount coupons on the floor that lead to the back of a moving van. Then all I have to do is wait for them to climb inside.

Afterwards we close the back door. I would probably hook up a television inside with some stupid DVD since that would keep them from noticing they had been trapped.

Then we haul their butts out to the woods. After unlocking the back and telling them there is a store behind some tree we get our guns and have a hunting event.

Later, much later, as I sit in my office and have visitor I can point to the head of the moron I bagged with my gun that is hanging on the wall. Then I can regale him with how the dude looked like a deer in the headlights of car just before he gets run over when I had him in my gun scope.

Ah what a shame we live in a time when freedom has to be extended to those who don’t deserve it. But then I guess stupidity will always be regarded as legal.

Which has also kept me from having any city sponsored skeet shoots. I personally think it would be a great idea to have the clowns I consider a pain in the ass be the ones standing in front and toss the plates in the air for us to shoot. Okay so maybe we would accidentally miss on purpose. We could have a few beers and enjoy the whole event.

Maybe some day I’ll find a place where my version of reaching out will be considered okay. Till then at least I can write about it.