YOU AREN'T THERE

Boy there are plenty of cases that I sure do wish I could boast about this in terms of some people. I just want to tell them you are suppose to be OVER THERE! And there being on another planet.

In the city of Mediocrity we are hardly a hub for tourism. And we don’t have a great many sights to check out. Oh a few historical spots and some old history buildings, but no big amusement parks or annual events that people come for miles to check out. At least not that far away to regard it as more than just a short trip if they decide to come at all.

What happens then is that City Hall makes the hit parade of places to see. It is one of our older buildings so naturally that adds to the reason people would pick to visit it.

Which means that what few visitors we get from out of state who are generally visiting some relative will end up being dumped at city hall to gawk at our photos and statues. They may even poke fun at the help. But one thing we know is that they are often dumped there because their relatives can’t stand them. So it means we get to be their babysitters.

I honestly have to say that after dealing with some of these people it is real easy to see why their relatives would want to get rid of them for a while. Most are the type that will ask such brilliant questions such as “How come call it City Hall when you ain’t got a hall?”

Another fabulous question is something like, “Does the Mayor work here?” Sometimes I always hope the sharp employee will say, “Nope. He got transferred to a city with smart people.”

I am grateful though that I personally don’t have to deal with very many of these people myself. At least I only have to hear about them from some of my employees. And let me tell you that can be real scary at times.

The nice thing is that these visits seem to go in spurts. They often happen whenever some airline is offering a discount on traveling to places that nobody would otherwise go. Not that we have an airport in our city. But there is one close enough to make it possible to rent a car and get here if you have no real place to go and were just taking advantage of discount on airfare.

Perhaps the biggest clue I have that I’m dealing with somebody that is not a person I want to actually see is when I see somebody standing in our lobby and looking up at my picture with the name, “Mayor Rash Limburger” under it and is asking “Who is this clown?”

I have been tempted to ask the lobby guard express my appreciation for such comments with the use of his nightstick. But I have a feeling the person’s dull brain might not feel it.