SILVER LININGS

When I think of this I think in terms of treasure. Silver isn’t gold, but it isn’t hugs either. Some people talk about how every cloud has a silver lining. I think that is probably more an issue of them either haven’t a very bad pair of sunglasses or perhaps having taking too many of those funny little blue pills that make you hear things that aren’t there.

As a saying perhaps it has some merit. It is trying I suppose to convey the notion that you should always look for the upside of any situation. That you should try and find the potentially good out of all things.

That is all fine and dandy if you just want a feel good moment. But you can’t pay the bills with a feeling. It might help you keep from screaming. Which is okay, but I prefer to think in terms of plain old profit.

So I’m a practical kind of person. I want to know the return I’m going to get on my investment. Heck I’m enough of a crook I want to even know how much I’m going to get to rip off of somebody else’s investment too.

And if by chance the cloud comes with a bill for say repairs then I want to find out the best way to avoid paying it or get somebody else to do it for me. Okay call me scum. Go ahead and do it. Now do you feel better? Good, I’m happy for you.

Meanwhile during the time you were sitting there thinking what a creep I was I invested the time try to figure new and creative ways to rip even more people off. I’m still trying to work on a means to do something such as tax people’s thoughts. Yeah I know it sounds stupid and lame, but I made a stupid impulse bet at the track the other day and am looking for a good way to make up for my losses.

So I figured I could maybe fake my way through passing some kind of legislation that would tax people for not doing whatever, which would relate in some way to their thoughts. Boy there are times when it would be so cool to have say a mind reader machine. That would really work.

Why am I thinking in those terms. Hey if you were a lying, backstabbing crook like me wouldn’t you naturally assume that more than one person out there hated your guts and said all kinds of terrible things about you behind your back.

All I want is a simple method of taxing them for such thoughts. Seems far to me. Er perhaps I could take the approach of focusing more on a tongue tax? Now I think that even has possibilities.

On second thought maybe what would be better is to make people get a license to talk. Well that might be too much. Maybe just one for speaking in public. Okay who is the wise guy that brought up the Constitution and Bill of Rights? Just remember it is a BILL of Rights. That means pal, you better plan on forking over some bucks eventually for those rights. I’m just viewing myself as the bill collector, that’s all!