A SMILE FOR A WHILE

Ah the sweet rush of temporary relief that lends itself to a nice warm smile. Pity it has to end. Even more so when the smile comes from revenge.

I’m not talking about the kind of belly laugh, stand up and cheer type of revenge. You know such as when somebody you hate completely gets accidentally on purpose run over by a slow moving car about ten times. Then mysteriously has a refrigerator drop on him a couple times out of nowhere while his is lying unconscious and then — er, I guess you are getting the idea on that part.

No, regrettably that kind of revenge is far too rare. What is far more practical (not to mention less incriminating to yourself, if you — ahem! Never mind that part) is to see some clown you hate having the kind of misery that just succeeds in pissing them off.

I’m speaking of something like say a flat tire when the person is on the freeway and late to an important meeting. Another fabulous option is for them to get an exorbitant phone bill for having made dozens of calls over seas even though they never actually made the calls. Try to see how much success you have getting the phone company to believe you never made those calls when they were directly dialed on your phone?

Such moments truly do give me pause to smile admittedly. I mean I truly savor the wonderful times I can sit back and hear the person vent over such things. It feels good knowing I can act like I feel sorry for them even though in reality I thinking “hurray, hurray, the jerk got what he deserved.”

Yes I am saying in all of that how I may have contributed to their misery. Only naturally I’m not going to actually confess to any specific occasion or incident. I’m not that stupid.

It has been said, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” What I say is, “When life gives you lemons, go and steal somebody’s good fruit and leave the lemons in their place.” You may feel free to quote the Limburger Philosophy if you wish.

My only regret is the times that my labors to find a small reason to smile never work out quite like I hope. I wish that wasn’t the case, but even with adequate planning there are times when some slob is blessed with luck.

Alas that is the reality of the hope inspired by a need for revenge. However the wonderful thing about the future come from knowing that tomorrow really is a another day. Which means that today’s blunder could be tomorrow’s joy of subtly ripping some creep asunder!

And that dear friends helps to make life worth living. At least for those of us who rejoice over the times when minor mishaps are honestly planned even if you can’t tell the other person. It is enough to give me reason to pause and celebrate the small victories desprei the fact I can always boast about them.