SAFE AND SOUND

I think I’ll always be grateful that some of my employees did not elect to pursue a career such as a pilot or ship’s captain. It isn’t that I wish to be unkind, but when it come to making the kinds of decisions where one’s life might be a risk, these are not people you want involved.

I realize we can’t all be all things. I’m just grateful when some people who have an obvious weakness exercise the wisdom to avoid a choice that would maximize the aspect of their frailty.

Perhaps finding out what tragedy by sea or air has been averted due to such choices will always spare the world, but it doesn’t keep me from being aware. It doesn’t prevent me from having to cope with the idea.

Okay maybe you might think it is silly to even contemplate such things. I just can’t help it. Every time I see one of my numb brained, delusion and hopelessly dysfunctional help gazing with longing eyes at some cruise ship brochure, I break into cold sweats.

I know, they have as much right as the next person to take a cruise. I can hardly prevent it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t try to discourage them from that option.

Why? Well mainly for the sake of the other people who take the cruise. I just get these nightmares of my help going on some ship and then noising around. And somewhere they find a switch that opens a drain or whatever. In any event it is for emergencies and you need to be an expert to handle it right. Which naturally they are not. So instead of leaving it alone they turn or pull the switch. The next thing you know it is, “abandon ship, glub, glub, glub.”

Sound absurd? Maybe you can afford to thing so. But personally I think I’m sparing the world from some kind of sea time disaster that would make them forget about the Titanic!

Of course I hardly expect any thank for my efforts. Sometimes doing a good deed that you can’t prove is a good deed without a disaster just has to be left unknown.

As for me, well I do sleep better at night knowing we don’t live near the ocean. I wouldn’t want the risk of having one of my employees moseying around some harbor and getting too curious about anchors or something else that might sink a boat.

Call it being silly. Call it anything you want. But sometimes a Mayor with the help I have has to make choices.

So if you are ever planning to take a cruise and by some fluke I screw up and you see a person with a goofy look on his or her face that is wearing a shirt that says, “I (heart) the Mediocrity City Hall cafeteria” then by all means be sure you know where the life preservers are located!