CHILD'S PLAY

Oh yeah now this is one of those things where we are so brimming over with confidence. The world is just so vulnerable, we are full of power and capacity to conquer at will. It is a terrific feeling, so full of energy and joy. Which normally last right up to the point where you fail miserably for being so stupid in presuming you had stopped being a mere mortal.

Child’s play? I guess it would work better if whatever it was happened to be done by a child and didn’t end up making you screw up so bad you looked like you were as immature in your thinking as a child.

Okay does it ever happen that we are truly as smart as we think we are? I’m sure there are a few out there that can claim it. I can too, at night when nobody is looking to see my face reveal how much I’m lying.

So I treat the whole thing as one big silly game. To sing with a positive tune about how the world is perfect and when the sun rises tomorrow it will be a harbinger of impending utopia is a glorious feeling. However when hell comes instead, well the only child playing probably calls the devil as daddy.

Still we have to try and muster that wondrous and thrilling oratory of hope that is absent of facts or reality. I mean we have worked darn hard lying to ourselves and distorting the facts so we deserve a reward.

Let’s strike up the band and have a parade to celebrate the glory of when fantasy and reality become the same. Oh I might be fiction and it might be less than perfect, but darn it all we have the right to once and a while dream without having to wake up.

No the purpose of this posting is not to ramble on about a bunch of silly crap. I’m just sharing all of this because I’m trying to give my recent blunder some emotional cushion.

It was another of those stupid moments of presumed lucidity when I THOUGHT that I was in control and had all the answers. Only I forget to check with fate. So naturally the unexpected rained on my delusion and what I thought was child’s played turned out to be a very complicated chess match where the other guy involved was first able to claim check mate.

The only good thing is that now I know he’s running around thinking everything is child’s play. And no doubt he’s boasting too.

Which is great for me. Because soon enough I’ll be able to manage a little game called payback. Depending on my mood I might be the one to remind him that child’s play on really qualifies if you WIN!

But that again depends on my mood. I just say that because it is more pretending at the moment that I’m not as greedy and prone to love revenge as is true. Later though I’ll probably enjoy it when I know I’m safe from revenge in terms of bragging how something was child’s play. I just hope it will be worth the wait. That depends on who I can get to listen to my lies.