GOOD MEALS

From time to time as part of my regular duties as a Mayor I have to attend some formal dinner. And that means sitting down with a bunch of stuffy and boring people while eating some gourmet meal that often has small portions. Ones that don't even taste good at times either.

So I sit there in my tuxedo, feeling really annoyed and frustrated while I listen to some middle aged crone of an unhappy housewife tell me how tough her life is. Normally, that is the type of environment where listening opens the door for a chance for some motel memories.

But not with these gals. They are all, well, a little less than er, let's just say they are not the kind you dream about. Unless you are really weird and have an incredibly sick sense of lust. No thanks to that on my part.

And while I'm sitting their lamenting my lack of date options and hoping the food would taste too bad, I have to contend with all these options of silverware. Personally, all I need is one of each, not three or four.

I wish you could get the people who host these events to appreciation that face. I do not need an appetizer fork, salad fork, entree fork, a wonderful in the heck is this for fork and also a dessert fork.

Now maybe I would find merit in this if I was worried that my germs on some fork would end up causing me grief later, but I don't think so. What do they expect my germs are going to somewhere grow into demons if I use the fork more than once?

I might understand this if say they wanted to be sure I didn't like leave my fork for somebody else to use. Or likewise.

But they make sure they always remove them so fast. Which sort of makes me assume there has to be some special reason.

All I can think of to be honest is that the fork people have some reason to need to use up all the forks. Okay, I'm being silly, but isn't life silly anyway?

This is just my way of protesting what I consider to be an unnecessary use of silverware. Does it save lives? Does it somehow improve live as we know it?

Not at all. What it does do from my view is result in making a lot of extra work for some poor underpaid dishwasher.

And at these affairs you can be sure the guy is even paid less than other deal. So that means more work for the same pay. And even though I applaud that kind of thinking, I have to admit, I could do without the extra forks

Besides, I always feel stupid because most of the time I pick the wrong fork!