COMING UNFUN

Does anyone enjoy when you are in the middle of having fun and somebody decides to ruin it? Where I live that happens all the time.

It is like all the dull people have extra energy to be sure they show up at every possible social event imaginable. And they do their best, intentional or otherwise to suck all the happy out of the moment.

I don't think it would be so bad if they just showed up and sat in the corner. But instead they insist up hanging out with everyone and trying to bore us to death by talking about work. May I have a unified yawn please.

Naturally the dull people also as a rule don't drink. So you can't even depend upon them to get polluted and just too drunk to say anything else. That I could live with too.

The rest of us could just let them passed out on the floor. We could work around that. You know, you just prop them up in the corner or use them as a doorstop. The point is that they would be useful!

Now since that is fantasy and not reality, I have to toss out the options I've come up with in order to come with those suffering from yawn-itis. That's what I call when the person's best form of conversation ends up putting me to sleep.

One thing I do is ask them about their family. If I'm lucky they will pull out their wallet or purse to show me the pictures. You'd be surprised how many pictures people like that can keep in their wallets.

I mean I can see the spouse and kids. But when they get to pets and plants, I'm hardly going to be thrilled by the photos.

However, the really nice thing is you can get them to whip them out and they get so caught up showing them they don't even notice that you've walked away. This little ploy works best when you can find another dullard and get them to play stand it.

If you work that good enough then by the time they get through with the photos you're so drunk yourself you don't even care. Or maybe you've managed to get lucky with that hot little blonde number and are off in the closet rearranging the hangers in a manner of speaking.

There is always the one odd dullard out there that has no pictures. Even of his vacation to the city park or his computer.

For this person you have to be very careful. Any encouragement and you will have a friend for life whether you want one or not.

With these types you have to give them the whole razzle dazzle. You have to basically bore them. Whatever they want to cry about, you cry louder. It take a little practice, but any of us can be a complete bore when the time requires it.