THE BIG LITTLE

This is the crap that takes way too much time and is never worth it, but you get stuck doing it anyway. I'm talking about the stupid little junk that we prefer to dump on others, but for one reason or another end up having to do ourselves.

As a Mayor I work extra hard to avoid this stuff. I mean I am the boss, the supreme elected potentate of my little political cesspool. I figure some other poor slob ought to get stuck having to wallow in the crap and not me.

After all if they don't want to have to deal with crap then darn it all let them go out and lie, cheat and get elected so they can stick somebody else with the pain in the ass duties. The one thing I don't want is this buck passed to me.

Now if by chance you happen to be talking about handing me some cash in a brown paper bag then I don't mind putting up with a little dose of being a gopher. Just don't get too carried away with it.

After all, if you want to talk being a lackey, I do have a price list I can show you. And it is negotiable.

Of course I do have to adjust the rate depending on how much you really expect me to brown nose. That seems fair too me.

But setting aside all that business discussion, naturally when there is no money involved the last thing I want is to put up with the big little personally. It just doesn't inspire.

None of that keeps the people working for me from doing a little haggling to see if they can get me sucked into taking the crap off their shoulders. And I hate to admit it, but there are times when I just plain get blindsided from some employee with their emotional con job.

What really gets me is when it comes from somebody I assume isn't clever enough to get away with it. Only I never count on the fact that they can practice without me noticing.

Those are the times that try men's souls or maybe just their pocketbooks. All I know is when you do get left holding a bag of crap it is extra hard to get rid of once people know what is smells like.

Oh yeah, that is the other problem with those big littles, they can stink so bad that no matter how well you like your face can keep from letting the poor slob know not to buy into what you are saying. That really is a pisser, big time.

For the moment at least I have managed to find new methods to not let the big little come my way. My current choice has to devote myself to meetings. And I've even found new places to hide till the people go away. All I have to do is be sure that I don't use the same one too often. You can hide in a stall of the bathroom forever!