BEERS AND SNEERS

I think with enough beer you can feel good about sneering at most things you would otherwise prefer to just brown nose about. You know the alcohol just numbs the brain till you don't care about the same things you might otherwise, which can be a good thing.

I only wish that this could provide some permanent solution to life's problems, but it doesn't. The real sneers you can never drown with any amount of beers. Or so it seems from my way of looking at it.

However, I do savor those precious times when I can slip off the mask and just be myself. Then I can sneer at what I really hate and not what I lie and say is okay.

Of course I must always be careful to avoid doing this when there are too many witnesses. No matter how many drunken vows of brotherhood and promises not to tell, when the alcohol wears off so does the vow and the next thing you know what you said ends up in the paper, thank you very much!

So I have to be sure I plan out my sneers to take place only when the beer is flowing somewhere safe. Yeah, it is hardly impressive I know, but as far as I'm concerned I just don't care when I'm sitting there polluted and need a chance to say how much life sucks.

The good news is that once I've babbled enough the world doesn't seem quite so bad. I actually can go back to my little cesspool of a political kingdom and be proud to nonce again hold court over my insanity.

That lasts till the pressure to scream gets to me too much. Then I have to smile in the form of gritting my teeth and wait for the next glorious moment to vent my inebriated ramblings.

But then the way I figure this is so much sane that to sit and stew over what I hate till I do something really lame. Some people do that and it always ends in a disaster from my point of view.

So you can chase whatever as your solution. I'll be content to hide in some dimly lit bar and pray I don't get seen by the wrong people.

And if by chance you happen to come into the bar while I'm there, well just don't get upset if I pretend it isn't me. Of course I realize that might take a few beers before you agree. But then I can be cool with that as long as when you are done you don't plan on hiding some sneer that you didn't have when drinking my beers.

So we shall gather at the river, of booze that is in a sort of almost spiritual event. Well, we will probably see something supernatural even if it is beer induced. At least we can sneer from joy rather than hate and that makes it all worthwhile in its own demented way in my book. That is the one I keep in my desk drawer the I never admit to having, especially to the IRS.