THE MORNING AFTER

Ah, is there a time of any greater mixed blessings than the morning after? Now if you aren't one of those who has had much experience with this, which means you are probably some kind of social amoeba. Which to me translates into a person of a single cell personality or in other words basically not having any or one like a piece of cardboard.

But enough of speaking of those who are emotionally challenged to do other than there impression of an cadaver. For the rest who understand and know the meaning of the morning after, then they will probably also appreciate the reason I associate it with a toilet bowl.

That is assuming you're morning after as been as involved with hangovers and a stomach that is puking because it hates your indulgences with booze or whatever. And I feel that this is one of these times of sharing intended to say, "I understand."

You see the problem with things like making it from here to the toilet bowl types of morning after is that you just never get any sympathy from people. They just look at it as the result of you doing something stupid.

And I think that is unfair. That is because would life really be worth living if you didn't have the joy of a few times of total disregard for sanity?

As far as I'm concerned everyone does this to some degree. We just don't all admit to it and if that involves some type of carefree totally stupid behavior you can be a dull person will object or criticize it.

Now they can do the same thing in some other venue of stupidity and that is okay. But they will still think you are a moron and have no sympathy for your random act of foolishness.

So for all those party animals out there who just want to have fun without a lecture I say, salute. I say let us praise your independence and right to be you.

That is what I will say on the night before. However, the next day I will most likely be saying, "oh my god, when the toilet bowl looks like a porcelain heaven, I'm in big trouble."

Fortunately, amnesia about stupidity is a wonderful side affect of such times. So by the next night or two at the very least I can practice the art of saying, "Tonight I'm just going to take it easy."

It will be a silly lie you understand. Like nobody else ever does that. As for the toilet bowl, well I know it doesn't talk, but sometimes in the gurgle of its flush I swear I hear the sound of laughter. Or maybe that depends on what brand of stupid juice I drank the night before.