WORLD AFFAIRS

These days the whole world seems preoccupied with being pissed off. It just seems like such a terrible waste of time from my point of view. Which is why I just have my own version of world affairs.

The Limburger version of foreign policy is devoted to the process called diplomacy. That for me translates into one simple thing, finding as many cute and willing ladies of foreign citizenship and showing them a real good time. I strive to promote harmony and happiness on an international level by concentrating on the more personal approach.

And naturally I truly believe that my approach will aid the overall issue of world affairs. Since I do try to have as many affairs with ladies of a foreign persuasion as possible. That is the wonderful joy that fills my day, just thinking of how much good will I spread while engaged in some high level diplomatic effort in some motel.

It truly does satisfy my sense of patriotism to do my part to try and bring more understanding between people of different cultures and backgrounds. Later I truly savor the joy too of knowing that perhaps if my efforts at world affairs was particularly successful that I might have even send a lady home with a chance to add to the population of her country in about nine months. I do enjoy the idea of it being nine months so I have plenty of time to be sure she is unable to locate me if needed.

I just feel that such efforts should be handled without drawing attention to oneself. So I often don't even use my real name when involved in such world affairs. Er, I guess I have that same approach even when dealing with a local lady too. I think it is very important to maintain a consistent approach to such practices. (Plus in cuts down on misunderstandings later when some lady tries to reach me about a promise I have to lie and say I never said.)

In any case I do feel a special sense of joy over having done my share to spread the joy of diplomacy in such a creative way. I suppose that if I was less inclined to being so modest and humble I would be able to give into the pressure to seek attention for my efforts.

But that is just not my style. I'm very comfortable just living out my meager, graft riddled life in the quiet obscure manner to which I am accustom. It truly does satisfy me to know that my little collection of bank books from those Swiss bank accounts won't be flashed in way to draw attention to myself.

Yes, I feel so strong about the need of pursuing world affairs that I love to take at least six or seven trips a year to some place foreign such as Canada or Mexico or even the Caribbean in order to practice this behavior. And I am happy to report so far that none of the ladies I have dealt with in terms of those affairs have been able to contact me later.

Now that is what I really call first class World Affairs. Perhaps someday they will even be able to branch out and find more foreign soil where I can add to my list of place I have participated with as affairs.