YOU CAN DO IT

The emphasis in this saying is YOU. It for me means that I am expressing confidence in your abilities. Notice that I also didn't mean I can do it.

Most of the time it means in these kinds of situations that I'm talking about stuff I don't want to do. Only I don't want to tell the person that. So it becomes a first class con job.

Thus I sit down with some loser of an employee and do what I can to convince him or her that doing a boring job like filing or cleaning toilets is a good thing. Hey, there is no way I'm going to stick my face anywhere that somebody has put his or her butt!

However some employees suffer from having pride. They actually think just because they are a clerk or manager they shouldn't have to do a crappy job (I mean in a literal sense too.)

Which is where I have to work at it as a first class, this is the most important job in your life con job imaginable. And it does actually work when I manage it right as a Mayor.

Believe me I do hate myself at times for peddling such baloney just to get some poor slob to think he's a winner if he takes out the trash, but I manage to avoid the guilt by going to more lunches at bars. That way I don't have to see them as much.

Perhaps the hardest part is when I see them later. Normally by then the magic has worn off to some degree and they are predictably pissed that they were lied too.

I can see those daggers in their eyes that suggest they would love to cut my heart out if they had the chance. So my first priority is to avoid them till enough time has passed so they aren't quite as emotional.

Okay with some crappy tasks that could take years, but city hall is big enough and if I plan my trips down the hall right I generally can avoid the employees most of the time. It does get tricky at times though.

I mean some of the employees are a little more persistent at wanting to complain when they have been lied too. Jeez that is such a pain.

I really don't enjoy calling security when an outraged employee is wanting to pound on my door to express his disappointment. At least I have talked the guards into using stun guns these days instead of their nightsticks. I thought that was being considerate.

But some people just don't seem to appreciate my thoughtfulness. They just get so upset over being stunned or hauled away in cuffs.

Alas it is a challenge to be a true people person as my image demands when it means actually having to deal with people. I wish there was a way around that, but so far I haven't figured it out.