WAKE UP AND SMELL THE...

I wish every time I woke up the smell of coffee was the one that first hit my nostrils. But that isn’t the case. And I know it is just a saying. Which naturally implies that one needs to wake up mentally and let the smell from the coffee of facts make you really be able to see what is gong on.

It is a nice sentiment, if not always practical. I mean unless you happen to live in a coffee house and these days with them springing up all over the place so fast it might happen, you might not always find that blast of caffeine when you need it.

Still I do try and find the coffee that will make me awake to reality when possible. It isn’t easy, but I do try.

I wish the same could be said of my help. Most of them not only wouldn’t try to find the right kind of coffee, but even if they do they don’t want to wake up afterwards. In fact some would just prefer to snack on some cream and sugar as in lies that make you feel good and just skip the coffee completely.

What is a poor, depraved and hopelessly corrupt politician like myself supposed to do with that kind of help? If I got rid of them and replaced them with smart people who drank the right of coffee they might actually be capable of the type of thought, which would not do what I say. Well at least not without thinking about it and that could be real dangerous for me. That is because the real awake people are prone to start paying attention and that would translate into them noticing things I don’t want noticed. So you can be darn sure I don’t crave that kind of coffee for my help.

In order to make sure I don’t risk that problem, I have worked very hard to find the most lethargic and slothful creatures on the planet to work at city hall. Plus they must be eager to accept degradation as well other types of abuse if they want to work for me.

So that means being sure that in terms of noticing details I only allow them decaffeinated brew. That amounts to serving them a fresh hot pot of lies whenever possible. Enough time and plenty of cream and sugar and they go numb above the shoulders.

That is how I get through each day. Oh I do allow myself a nice generous dose of the real thing for myself. When I am alone and I make sure none of the employees can smell the aroma.

Yep it is being greedy. Absolutely. And I’m proud of it. Such proper use of the right kind of coffee has made sure I stay awake and my employees nod off so they don’t whine too much when abused.

Now I ask you is that thoughtful or not? I do what I can to be sure my employees enjoy their time while at city hall. Sometimes that means allowing them the joy of taking a nap in terms of noticing what I want them not to see. And if I fail, well I just make sure I have extra cream and sugar to avoid any other problems.