GOING UPTOWN

To me this isn’t really exist as an actual place where I live. I mean that the city of Mediocrity is a thriving metropolis in terms of dullness and lethargy. So our entire city is basically boring and the same.

Thus we don’t really so much of a poverty section or rich neighborhood. We do have the places where lower class live and others where the upper class live. Only our lower class are well, sort of less that special at being lower class so their housing isn’t quite pure poverty. Likewise our upper classes are also not that upper either. So they too lack the luster of their suppose affluence.

Therefore in the process we don’t end up with anywhere that might by some standards qualify as “uptown” if you consider uptown and meaning more classy and sophisticated than the rest of the city. My interpretation naturally. I just consider it to be homogenized blandness. All citizens united together for the common cause of perpetuating the joy of being Mediocrity.

Some people might not take pride in that kind of lukewarm existence. For me I look upon it as a celebration of the predictable. It is something you can count on no matter what else happens. So you can wake up with the simple anticipation that the morning paper will most likely engender a yawn and not much more.

Which is to be honest okay for me. See as long as the population is okay with that option then I as Mayor don’t have to give much thought to ways of improving the place. They just take it as it is and I can live with it.

Of course that doesn’t mean I haven’t invented my own version of going uptown. My wife sort of makes me have the occasional outings to places that leave us feeling we have some ounce of class. It is a game naturally and one that can be real pricy too on occasions.

Still if going over to one of our more expensive restaurants and ordering something totally outrageous helps her think we are classy and uptown then I can live with it. Then when we go home, she falls asleep on the couch to sleep off those three bottle of campaign she consumed. The next day she will get up and brag to her girl friends about what a good time we had.

I just file away the credit card bill under “another uptown fantasy” come true as long as nobody checks the facts. Ah, there is a great magic in living in dream world. We manage pretty well too. At least from where I’m sitting.

That is the place in my mind where it is always uptown. I just don’t have to pay the high prices of a real uptown to live there.

So for now, we play the little game. Which is often played by so many others too. Sometimes we even join them for dinner at the same restaurant. And as long as nobody tells the truth none of us has to eat crow!