TAKE THIS JOB AND...

Okay don’t finish that with the obvious. I know the way the song goes like everyone else. The challenge is to fill it in a different way.

No, I’m not trying to peddle some claptrap positivism non-sense to get you to suddenly see you selfish ogre of a boss as a prince. Or am I suggesting that you dead end job can be transformed into a staircase to fame and fortune with the help of some book I’m peddling.

What I’m speaking about is trying to get to the central and disquieting core truth of working. You need a paycheck. I mean when you strip away all the crap about job satisfaction and all the other stuff somebody wants you to believe, the bottom line is that you aren’t going to do anything in terms of working that doesn’t give you a paycheck.

So rule number one, bend over kid because you’ll never get a break without being ready to kiss somebody’s rear end. Sound abusive to sick? Well go ahead and stand up and be your own person. Then see how far you really get in terms of promotions and raises.

I think the reality here is that you can play the game or lie about not playing the game, but sooner or later if you want a pay check you are going to have to sit down and become a player somewhere. I’ll be the first to admit that sucks. It is a pathetic way to have to endure life, but hey if you want to escape it there just are too many other choices. Last time I checked the job of being the Almighty was filled and normally they don’t accept resumes for positions such as king.

Now unless for some reason you were born to be the next rock star or a world class athlete you’ll normally end up schlepping your way through life like the rest of us. Which is the tune we are going to all dance to whether we like it or not.

Naturally one of the rules in this game is that fair doesn’t count. Cheaters do prosper and liars often get away win winning better than those who tell the truth. Hey, I didn’t make the rules, I’m just reporting.

Well like it or not and most of us don’t that is way life is. I as a Mayor have tried to use that truth to adjust my game plan in terms of politics. Which is why I specialize in lying and doing everything I can to bend the rules in my favor. That’s politics. At least that is as good an excuse as any in my mind.

Does that mean if things were different I would deal with it differently? If honesty were the winning solution instead of lying would I change?

I guess for me those are questions I’ll never have to answer. I’m grateful for that part. In the meantime for the rest of you I say enjoy folks! You can wish you tell your boss to shove it in terms of your job. However odds are you end up just getting farther by shoveling it in terms of the pile of stinking lies that makes the boss think you’re a brown nosy wimp. Whatever works boys and girls is what I say. Let’s face it they don’t give paychecks to you for the fun of it.