THE ALMOST BIG SOMETHING

Ever have some plan in the works that you thought was a sure thing and then it fell apart like it was cursed? Sound familiar? If so I bet you are probably groaning “thanks for reminding me.”

Well cheer up because trust me there is no way you could possibly have had this happen to you more times that it has happened to me. I wish this was something I could boast about, but they normally don’t give you trophies for being a champion at blunders.

However I have tried to be very philosophical about this. It is like that old saying, “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

I do believe that is true. My problem is that it doesn’t necessarily make you smarter. And that is the part I wish was reality.

Still despite the set backs and failed or foiled plans, I keep hoping the next time will be different. I prefer not to think of that as being positive as much as trying to keep my sanity, by convincing myself that hoping and dreaming of a possibility that might come true is better than not having any possibilities.

And so, as the inspiration comes, I dream, I plot and I do. For a while I end up feeling so alive in the process as the rush from my anticipated fiscal gluttony burns in my avaricious soul. Yep, what can I say, to me that is pure, glorious living.

Now I know I ought to pretend to be a victim of my desires in this situation. To claim to be addicted to some self-abusive behavior and how I am truly remorseful to be possessed of such weakness.

I might if I get caught claim that, but otherwise forget it! Nope in my case this is a consuming and desirable passion to conquer and vanquish anyone and everything I can.

Frankly, to be honest if I didn’t go over the top with it then I wouldn’t even bother. That’s because it would quickly end up being boring if I didn’t have a chance of it becoming something really big.

So call it pathetic. Call it being hopeless corrupt, but just don’t tell me that I would be better off not pursuing that option.

Oh you can suggest it, but I am a firm subscriber to the saying “To thy own self be true.” And believe me I know myself well enough to appreciate that is the real me.

So come on folks, be honest with yourself. Aren’t there a few of you out there that might just say you feel that way once and a while. It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone. Just know you have one place you can know you have somebody who understands. And you can also be sure that if I have the chance I would rat you out in a second if there was a reward involved! Hey, would you really expect otherwise?