SOLD FOR...

There is this illusion milling around in the world that for some reason a person exists who will not be bribed or sell his or her values for the right price. To which I say, uh-huh.

Why? Because so far I have not found this to be true. Oh the ones with values do tend to be stubborn.

You can't appeal to them with your usual variety of bribes. You have to be creative. And that includes the bible thumping types too.

See the problem is a matter of knowing what is their bank. That is the place inside where they love to keep their real treasures.

Find out what currency they use and how much of it you can manage to counterfeit and they will hand you a deposit ticket. Or give you a checking account to draw money out of their bank whenever you want.

Oh I do admit from a lazy standpoint I really cherish when I can you know work with the obvious types. Businessmen who understand the simple practical approaches to this.

Essentially that bucks get you anything you can want, providing where you plan on shopping. Not all malls have signs.

Sometimes you have to read them in the eyes of a given person, then no problem. Just a matter of checking the price tags.

The hardest ones to deal with are the ones of traditional values. I'm not talking about the bible thumpers either.

I'm talking about the family values groups. You know the ones that make families a sort of god.

And they want you to worship their little angel Junior because he is so adorable. Never mind that he has a demon smirk and will stab you in the back with a pitch fork at first chance.

To them little Junior is perfect. You offer to do something nice for the rug rat and they will gladly give you whatever you want.

Oh yeah that is such a blessing to understand. Some never seem to get it. They will presume that you have to agree with their point of view.

All you have to do is buy their point of view. A little tip of lies is enough. They will drool and go blind.

Then they won't even notice that you picked their pocket.