THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER IN THE CEMETERY

Ah, hah! I bet I got you with that one didn't I? I mean think about it. Where is the grass really the greenest? Well possibly golf courses for one. And maybe in some football stadium. Or if you have a neighbor like mind, well his lawn might as well be a god!

But outside of those, you do have to admit that cemeteries often have incredible green lawns. Which perhaps and not wanting to be gruesome here, but the "natural" fertilizer might be one reason.

Okay, again, not trying to necessarily be gross, but it does make me wonder if for the sake of beautification of "ahem" city parks and perhaps city building lawns if we set aside some of them for "special fertilizer." Now I realize some might consider that as a really pathetic suggestion, but all ask is that you give it some thought here.

I mean let's be realistic, do the dearly departed really have some concern over where they spend their time rotting? Cruel as it might sound, think of how uplifting it might be to give a person a chance to truly feel useful after they are dead? Think of it, you could go over to city hall, see the bright green grass and then shout, "way to go grandma!"

Okay to make it even more personal, we could all little plaques saying things like "this green courtesy of...." I really like this idea the more I think about it.

It just seems like the perfect solution to all that wasted space at cemeteries. We could turn those into more useful things like say condos or parking lots.

So what do you say folks? Let's hear it for the idea of digging up Uncle Joe and letting him help to add a little beauty to the world?

And you know, not to be unkind here, but with some people that might be the closest they'll ever come to adding any beauty to the world. Which I think should be a definitely selling point.

So instead of selling plots for funerals, we could sell "pots" for posthumous contributions towards the aesthetic communal attributes of a city. Ah, I feel that phrase just roll off the tongue.

It makes me quiver all over with excited. Now all I have to do is print up some nice uplifting brochures to pass around the old folks homes and funeral parlors. I bet for a nice piece of the profit the undertakers would be willing to treat it as an viable alternate form of memorial services.

I wonder if you had to honestly wait with some old folks to be sure they were actually dead before letting them participate? Er, I guess that might be a tad too much for some. That is the problem with the world. There are just too many people who lack the imagination to see possibilities where others only see a place to put a RIP sign. But I'll keep working on it.