DESPERATE TIMES

Yeah, this is about desperate times. Now with my crowd of lunatics I see every day desperate times can be a simple as not having any donuts in the break room for breakfast.

Which sort of illustrates my point. Desperation is in the eyes of the beholder. At least the way I see it.

A lack of donuts to me is not a desperate time. But it becomes one if I have to cope with too many nut cases who want to try and give me their case of dementia.

I suppose I should feel blessed to have the joy of having so many people who can totally freak out over something like a lack of toilet paper think I should share in such panic attacks. I imagine that would be one way to look at it, but I don't.

To me it is nothing, but a major pain in the butt. One that I wish would go away and never come back. However, I do know that will never happen in my life time. I couldn't be that lucky.

My luck would run to being blessed with having even more nut cases added to the payroll. And I imagine somewhere in their new hire paperwork one will find the wonderful comment, when you want to act insane, go see Rash.

Oh they would never show me that paper. Because that would ruin the fun. Instead it is far better if they just have the time to practice panicking till they have it just right.

Then they can come and heap it on me so it won't get bogged down by any chance of there being a single truth in anything they say. Nope, any truth would take away the risk that I would have reason to think they were nuts. And where would the joy be in that?

Instead, I just get the thrill of it all. The times when one of my employees decides there is no difference between reality and fiction. So if he sees dragons in his coffee, I should too.

Naturally it does provide the rare moment of smiles. Not enough to make up for when I want to scream. But that's okay I suppose.

That is because I use it as an excuse for all the times I end up sucking the city coffers dry in order to compensate me for babysitting loons. Some might call that a fair form of compensation.

And until the time comes that I can persuade the men with badges to buy that I will still have to tolerate just keeping it a secret. Which isn't always tough when my employees are so busy inventing big fat lies to worry about and claiming they are true. Having nothing, but employees with no credibility does help to inspire my greed.