BONES

I’m sure most people have heard the phrase “skeletons in the closet.” This to me doesn’t have anything to do with real skeletons. Well I hope not unless the person is really sick or some kind of pathologists. Otherwise I doubt any of us would expect to visit somebody and open their closet to find any skeletons.

I think this phrase is really meant to apply to secrets. The bare bones facts we don’t want any one to know because we would be embarrassed if they found them out.

And naturally bones are part of skeletons. So we are talking here about some kind of bones that perhaps represent a dreaded moment of failing in our life and we don’t want anyone to know about it. Yeah, those kinds of bones!

Personally, I keep my bones of that nature in a graveyard. It is called a file. I keep it on my computer and never in a paper form. Those are too easy to find. Instead I have it in a file that I make sure only I know about it. The last thing I want is for anyone to find them bones!

All of that works great in enabling me to keep those bones from most people. The big concern is with the people who were witnesses to when the bones were created. They can be a really pain in the butt if they tell anyone and the plain fact is you can pretty much count that they will.

See that is the fun part about bones. You do end up wanting to show off those bones if they belong to somebody else. These bones are secrets and always ugly in that regard since they are something you did wrong. I mean if they were great looking you would put them on display in the first place.

But the process of hide and make sure you don’t peek always happens. The only nice thing is knowing that while I’m digging a hole for my bones I know the other dude is probably doing the same thing. And let me tell you even though it would be nice, the one thing you can’t do is borrow a shovel.

Heck, I’m so lazy that if I could pay somebody to bury the bones I would. But I know people too well. If I paid them they would just end up not burying the bones and instead would take them somewhere to sell them! Yeah the lousy creeps would do just want I would do. God that is so darn annoying.

Meanwhile, I keep playing hot potato with my bones to hide them from the press, friends and just about anyone with an IQ over fifty who is smart enough to see what a weasel I am. Then along the way there are the times when I am forced to give a “dog” of snoop a bone to keep them from looking for any others.

The trick to that is to try and be sure I give them somebody else’s bone. Or at the very least a fake one. With those gossip bones they get so busy chomping they seldom have any chance to know it is a phony till I’ve done made sure I can think up a good lie to explain it all. Ah, life you got to love it!