YOU CAN COUNT ON ME

Ah the sweet taste of loyalty. It goes down so smooth and refreshing when you swallow it. The wonderful thing is you’ll probably be so jazzed when somebody promises this kind of help that you won’t notice as quickly when they flake out on you.

So there you sit like a complete moron with savages to the right, a pack of ravenous beast to the left and the whole time thinking, “I’m not worried because my pal is going to show up any second.” And right up to the point that the savages and beast decide to use you as a wishbone you still cling to that illusion of loyalty.

I can imagine there are a few people who could read this and nod while saying, “Yeah, uh-huh, that’s right. How do you know those creeps?” To which all I can say is, “They have a really big family!”

I guess the main thing is that we all love the glory of being regarded as loyalty. But we hate if there is a risk to such loyalty. So we might not be that thrilled if we are supposed to be the cavalry and it means getting massacred. That’s when I love to take a coffee break that lasts till the war is over. I’ll even bring a doctor’s certificate to prove I had some kind of sickness so you don’t have to accuse me of being a worthless cur of a yellow coward to may face.

Now what ticks me off is not so much when somebody does this to me as it does that I fell for it. That really fries my cookies or whatever.

Still, what really bugs me the most is that no matter how many times I get shafted on this deal, that “trust me” con job manages to blindside me at times. My only way of coping is to basically do the same thing to some other poor sap. Then I don’t feel like a complete idiot, only half an idiot.

I wish there was a way around this whole insane deal, but I haven’t figured it out so far. I keep hoping I’ll come up with some miracle cure to prevent me from ending up a sucker. That just hasn’t happened yet, but I’m hopeful.

Until I do, I suppose I will have to maintain the philosophy of suckering others before they have the chance to do the same to me. I know it sucks, but hey I do the best I can to not loose face whenever possible.

Well in any case all this joy just has a tendency to lead to insanity. You always managed to find a few nuts out there that will believe anything. They really are like fruit just ready for the picking.

And I don’t mind saying I’ve done my saying of picking whenever possible. I just do what I can not to be the one who gets picked instead of the picker.

Ah, life, isn’t it wonderful? It can be at times. On others, when things get tough, you know you can count on me. I won’t say for what though. That will wait till your butt is in a sling and I have to find out what risk there is.