APPLES AND ORANGES

I’m sure most of us have heard how sometimes comparisons are like trying to discuss apples and oranges. Basically that you can’t compare the two items in question because they have nothing in common.

Does this reality keep people from debating whatever? Not as far as I can tell. In fact so often people love to argue over just about anything just to hear themselves talk.

Given this fact makes my job easier. For I can get up and give a speech about two totally unrelated items and people will actually nod. Believe me, I’ve done it and it does work!

I didn’t say it was a good thing. Just that it is amazing how people become so numb above the shoulders by all the crap they are told that they just are prone not to listen. Fact of life. Not necessarily a good one, but a fact of life.

The other day I put this theory to practice when speaking to a group of businessmen in my city. I specifically chose them since they are most often the types who are likely to pay attention.

The hot issue for them lately was the issue of downtown parking. We have oodles of parking meters and they love to complain how the parking meters affect people’s shopping habits. I won’t debate or even deny it is a factor, but as Mayor I’m not about to give up the revenue.

So I got up to address the issue of parking meters in the downtown district. Guess what? I never once mentioned them the speech. I did this totally silly speech about icebergs and how the shortage of adequate streets and bridges in our city has an impact upon the usage of ice in snow cones. I alluded to the experimentation with attempting to import ice bergs to improve that problem. Then I made several vague references to parking in general and freedom. Mentioning freedom always gets a good nod or two.

In the end I didn’t actually say anything that might remotely improve the issue of parking meters in any way. But they did clap just the same!

Why I even had a couple of them come up after the meeting and say they enjoyed my speech and were going to do more to deal with the ice crisis. I smiled (out of humor for their silliness) and then said thank you.

I found the whole process rewarding of course. I think I’ll polish it up even more for the next campaign for re-election.

I just wish I had some incumbent to blame for everything. But I have a feeling it wouldn’t matter anyway. From what I’ve observed the voters would no doubt not remember. So I might as well toss in a few apples and oranges. Heck, any fruit might work since they probably won’t care since they aren’t going to listen, which is great for me.