WHERE IN THE WORLD IS?

I catch this program on cable from time to time that does profiles of little known places. They love to show you all the wonderful details about the place and make it seem like some type of heaven.

The reality is that most of the things they say are more hype than truth. Which makes perfect sense because otherwise why waste the time with the making the program in the first place?

What gripes me is that I know all this, but manage to fall victim to driving to some of the dumps from time to time anyway. When I get there and it turns out to be a joke, I feel stupid, but the next time I do it again.

I wish I could say there was a cure for that kind of silliness, but there isn’t. At least not in my case. All I end up with is a bag full of tourist crap that I’ll stuff in some closet for six months before I throw it away. Oh yeah and also a case of indigestion from eating some junk they sold that was too greasy and overpriced. Yep, it is called having fun.

I have come to appreciate how the one thing this says about me and apparently a whole lot of other people is that we have boring lives. So we grab at any form of entertainment we can find. Which is pretty pathetic, but we do it anyway.

Is there a cure for this insanity? Probably, but I haven’t found it yet. So I am doing what I can to learn to cope.

And one way I have chosen to do that is by finding ways of seeing if I can get that television program to do a feature on my city of Mediocrity. Oh I admit it could be a real stretch to find some way of turning our little city into something that remotely looked exciting, but I don’t mind working on that part.

I was tinkering with the idea of trying to make us the capital of something appealing. You always hear of some city that claims to be the capital of some food or whatever so why not allow my city have some shot at a title.

Right now I haven’t quite worked out the best option. I could advertise that we were the capital of bland, dull and boring. However, I’m not sure that would truly inspire any visitors. Plus if it did I would have to seriously wonder what place the people came from that actually thought Mediocrity was a barrel of laughs. I can imagine it would not quite be a place anyone else would visit.

That is a problem for later though. Right now I’m working on the most important part of this plan. That is my speech. I am a politician after all. You can plan anything in my situation that doesn’t sooner or later result in some kind of a speech.

And perhaps I can even include something that is almost true. It is funny how people actually expect you to be honest in a speech. It is a silly idea from my point of view and one I avoid whenever possible.