SPENDING MONEY TO MAKE MONEY

The special knack to this is spending OTHER people’s money to make YOURSELF money. There is just nothing more joyous than investing as long as it is without any personal risk.

As a politician I find myself in the perfect situation for such risks. I’m always very brave with the taxpayer’s funds. Course I don’t them that. Officially I stand on a platform of conservatism. Which means to me that I never spend a dime of city funds without being sure we have carefully check all our options and always find the most affordable means to do things efficiently.

That’s my official position you understand. It has nothing to do with what I actually do. Which is why we have the city budget the public sees and the one I really use. A little padding here, a dummied up receipt there and everyone is happy. That is as long as they don’t know the truth, which never happens if I can help it.

So what does the public get out of this whole deal you might ask? Well in a manner of speaking I suppose the honor of having me ripped them off without it being done by a stranger.

After all I do live in the city and when I steal big time I always use the money where I live. In a way it is my form of trying to share the wealth. But I never take credit for it you understand. I’m just content to live a modest life and have those occasional chats with the overseas bankers where I have to “special” bank accounts. I figure why cause problems by messing with bogging down the local bankers with too many extra headaches. They seem to have way too much to do in the process.

In my own way thus I feel I am helping to foster the right kind of balance to people’s expectations will not get out of harmony with our reality. See if I was to not interfere with the normal process and allow the funds to be used as intended then it might distort the level of efficiency in the city. Things would actually get done and where would that lead?

It is a difficult and thankless job caring as much as I do for the poor working souls in our city and making sure they are watched over in the way they deserve. Hmmm, you know I’ll have to remember that phrase for the next time I get asked the pesky question about the city’s finances I just prefer not to answer.

And if by chance you ever decide to drop by for a visit. We can always use another helping hand and won’t complain. In fact I’ll be more than happy to tag on a few extra fees to your visit to make it even more memorable.

Tell me you can expect that from everyone? Yeah, I know you are probably sneering at the moment and that’s cool. I have a tax for that too. One way or another I do my share to be sure leave with a smile or at least I have one from having picked your pocket. Cheers!