THE TWELVE GROAN PROGRAM

The “other” form of this program is one involving twelve steps as a program that helps you get over an addiction. I don’t like to mention that addiction because then I have to contemplate how I might have a problem with that issue. And frankly I have no desire to give up bar hopping just because I might have a problem. Not admitting it at least gives me the illusion that it really isn’t a concern. Ah, sweet denial does keep one from getting depressed!

I think that is the main focus of this posting too. The twelve step program might be commendable unless you view it as a twelve groan option. Then it doesn’t matter if there are two steps or a hundred you aren’t going to be all that excited about trying it regardless of how it might help.

Which brings me to the golden rule of human nature, “Pain from self-abuse will always win out over the pain of improvement.” Now you can question that rule, but for a politician like me it is pure gold!

Knowing it has worked to my advantage on countless occasions. For example any time a voter wants to complain about some failure of our city government I always agree. Then I kick them in the gut with that nasty word, taxes.

It works so great at normally shutting them up. They all want improvement, but not at any cost. So if you add their pocket book into the equation they almost always will suddenly think the current system is okay after all.

On the rare occasion I actually deal with some deranged person who will agree to higher taxes then I have to resort to a different tactic. That involves suggesting how they will have to take the flack from the public for the extra taxes. Generally that will definitely get them to rethink their position. For such people, they may not mind using their own pocketbook to some degree, but they definitely don’t want the risk of being unpopular.

So once again I find that one weakness that keeps me from actually having to do something to improve a problem. Still there is the odd person out there who will agree to raise taxes and then will accept the blame too. Talk about being sick!

They represent the worse challenge. However that doesn’t mean it is an impossible obstacle. I just have to resort to a little committee razzle-dazzle. Basically I assign the project to a bogus committee that never meets. And I just have to wait out the enthusiasm of the person who thinks they really want change. If that doesn’t work then I find some other problem to give them grief that keeps them so busy they have no time to think about the first problem.

Ah yes, it is to plan. Sometimes such adventures do carry risk. But being the devote backstabbing creep that I am, I always make sure that the risk is for somebody else’s behind. Democracy, Rash style, can be so fun at times.