MAKING UP VERSES MAKE UP

This might seem like two totally unrelated issues, but not to a politician such as myself. After all for me, my public image is a form of make up. And even though I know the make up is purely fiction, I still have to wear it as Mayor.

Now for me part of this make up is keeping up the image of unity with some people who are complete jerks. Not because I want to wimp out in terms of telling them off. It is because I need some of them for one reason or another.

So on those occasions with the gossamer illusion of unity is shredded by the facts, I have to go through the sham of pretending to make up with the person. (Yawn.) I hate that part. All that smiling and talking about how great the person is while gritting one’s teeth to keep from wanting to beat the jerk to a pulp.

It is a game admittedly. But one I have to play at times in order to get what I want. And even those after years of being in office I have managed to eliminate a great many of the jerks we still have an abundant supply.

You see the making up being cosmetic it doesn’t in any way keep me from plotting revenge against the person I hate. I just don’t let them know it. That way if they think I like them or want to be their pal I can get them to lower their guard and sooner or later I find out some weakness that I can exploit.

This is another facet to this whole charade. Basically making darn sure I never let the person find out they got a bull’s eye on their forehead. I have to sit there with my hunting rifle with scope (figuratively speaking) and say, “why no, this isn’t loaded. I’m just holding it for a friend. See I just — BOOM! Oh darn, clumsy me, I had the safety off. BOOM! Oh I’m so sorry. Let me get you a band aid.”

Now that’s my kind of making up. And believe me I have found various creative means to practice it over the years. Of course I would never admit it to anyone that can vote. To them I’m a pussy cat and caring person. Is that a good make up job or what?

The great thing though I doubt they will admit it is that a whole lot of other people practice this kind of making up and make up too. Or do any of you believe for a second that all those smiles and hugging done by the entertainer types is totally genuine? If so then they’ve done an even better job at make up than I imagined.

All in all it is for me great fun. Honesty can be so boring at times. That silliness of telling the truth is so monotonous. Nope, this way is so much more creative and entertaining. It is like being more than one person and getting paid for it.

Only you don’t get your shot at an Oscar. However neither do you have to worry about ratings or critics trashing your flick.

In any case it’s a living. It may not as much credible as some might like, but I’ve learned to call this political theater home for better or worse. And as long as I can keep covering up the worse then making up will be tolerable. Which is what gives me a reason to show up for work each day regardless of the wishes of some.