TREASURE SAPS

Ah yes the grand and glorious quest of something yellow and shiny. And you know while I admire that gusto of lust, I do get weary of people who are saps about it.

By that I mean people who let their basic proclivity towards greed make them go utterly stupid. Which is so easy to happen when you let your shear passion for riches turn into an addiction where you can think of anything else. That’s when you get sappy.

Now for me wealth is great. And I’ll do most anything to be sure I get my share. However I do like to enjoy life too. Being a workaholic don’t cut it.

You see the main problem I see is when people get so consumed by the need for greed that they don’t have any ability to appreciate when they are taking it to a dangerous extreme. They will gladly ream out anyone or anything to make a buck. And that friends leads to creating enemies who won’t sleep till they get even.

Now I certainly don’t have any qualms about ripping off my fellow man. I just intend to do it in a way that they don’t know I’m doing it. There is a difference in that regard between winning and being a jerk about it.

So naturally this requires playing the hypocrite and lying a great deal. I have to pretend when I totally rip somebody off that I don’t gloat about it. That way the actually think I did it accidentally or if I’m really successful they go away believing what I did was a good thing.

The difference between this approach and the arrogant jerk who stabs you in the back and brags about it is whether they end up your enemy and seek away to get revenge. Which to me avoiding is essential since I do have to run for reelection and too many people will remember if I shafted them by the next election.

Basically the bottom line is of course that I have to strike a balance. Go for the throat, but be sure the person is wearing a blindfold of my verbal threads in the process.

In the end they often go away thinking I did them a favor. I’m not saying the person is stupid. I’m merely saying that if I show respect to their view of things and weave it into my con then I manage to win in a way that never results in me having to constantly look over my back for their knife.

I’m speaking of the practical side of being a pure crook here. Stealing with a smile, lie and most of all with a false sense of humility. It can work wonders in those times when somebody actually figures out my scam is a scam. If I have worked it correctly even if they find out the truth they generally think maybe they are wrong in their conclusion.

And that folks is life the Limburger way of looking at it. Always leave them laughing whenever possible. That way they won’t hear when you are laughing behind their backs while on the way to the bank with your winnings!