AVOIDING TALES

Despite my special love of stretching the truth till it is so distorted that nobody can recognize it, there are times when even I have a need to just avoid lies. It might be hard to believe, but it is true.

See, for me is it like lies can be a form of sugar. There are times when you just get tired of desserts.

You know like when you stuff yourself with donuts and crap on some late night snack and then wake up the next morning feeling like you have a trash can in your mouth. Plus you have no energy and wish you could do anything to stop feeling so darn yucky.

Not telling the truth can be like that on occasions. The mind just gets bogged down with too many stabs of guilt.

So in order to maintain your sanity you have a time of purging where you actually tell the truth. Oh it never lasts, just like dieting, but for a while it works.

And then once you've got it out of your system it is time for the lies again. Which is like when you go off a diet, totally glorious!

The big challenge during those terrible times when you feel a need for honesty is to avoid people you normally lie to. That is really important.

It just is not a good idea to spend time with people you otherwise like to when you are in a mood for telling the truth. They might come to expect it all the time and that would be a disaster.

The best solution is to sneak off somewhere that you only meet strangers. That way you can enjoy blabbing to your heart's content and not worry about what you say.

Which satisfies you need to be stupid in terms of saying the truth without any risks. But the problem is there are times when that mood strikes and you get stuck somewhere that you are only around people who you know.

Then you next option is to try and only talk about things where you would tell the truth anyway. Say, like, er, well maybe the weather or criticizing people you all hate. That is a good dodge.

But should the occasion arise that you have to talk about some subject you can afford to risk telling the truth about like the money you suck out of the budget, you still can escape disaster by asking the person's opinion. If you are lucky and show an interest in the other person even though you don't care about them you can manage to avoid talking altogether.

Those are just a few helpful hints from old Uncle Rash. Here's to honesty with wisdom of not having to tell it in the wrong situations.