SIZING UP THE SITUATION

This is one occasion where size definitely counts. Rule number one in the Limburger hat of thoughts is if you are dealing with a real fat head, expect to tolerate lots of crap piling up everywhere.

Or if you are coping with somebody that suffers from diarrhea of the mouth, not only will you get crap piling up everywhere, but it will stink too. So just make sure you can hold your breath a real long time.

If you can then, RUN! Yep, the best advice I have for some situations is to avoid them. Find a place to hide and stay there till the problem goes away. Trust me you thank me later.

Essentially for me this about being prudent in regards to sparing your butt the pain of being stuck in all the wrong places where you will get squeezed. Unless you have a thing for being treated like a lemon.

This particular problem is a big challenge for me as a Mayor. I have to tolerate a whole lot of situations where you have to size up the situation in order to keep from getting stuck crowded out of freedom. It happens when way too many people do their imitation of a pillow being sued to smother people.

Ah the moments I can drool over when I successfully found a way to avoid such disasters. The primary tool to surviving such catastrophes is to find an escape. Those come in the form of sticking some other poor slob take your position as the own being squeezed.

I know it sucks, but hey, it is a matter of them or me. That is my view. Of course I never volunteer to the person I stiffing with my problem that I'm dumping the crap on them.

That would never do. Why ruin the fun of being able to smile because I managed to size up the situation and the size said more than one is too many.

Well that is the joy I thrive upon this moment. It really is extra important during the holidays. That is when people need to have a reason to crowd you more than others.

Like you are supposed to pretend they aren't picking your pocket while patting you on the back. Yeah, that is going to really work.

At least it doesn't work for me. And that is what counts. Nope, I manage to reserve the right to lie my way into a passport for escaping problems that are much bigger than I care to deal with on a given day.

Even if I don't tell the other person that, it sure works well enough in most situations. When it doesn't then I have to resort to bribe. Or find some other slob to take the place of the one who wouldn't let me dump on them.