TAKE IT OR TAKE IT

My ego always gets a boost from the times I find myself negotiating from a point where I can dictates the options to someone else. And I admit I’m never fair in such situations. I just point the gun of choice against their head and make them pull the trigger. It just comes down to the person having to either accept things my way or not at all.

Once and a while you do run across the perhaps who refuses to go along with the program. So I do experience a degree of disappointment that I missed out on my opportunity to victimize somebody. Those aren’t my most memorable moments in that regard. Here I am having a fire sale on my ethics and are bargain prices and the person says no sale. That just isn’t the answer that I’m looking for.

Well despite those detours from joy there is one situation, which truly gives me a reason to smile. That is where the person has no alternative than to accept your offer no matter how unfair it is. It becomes a matter of take it or take it. They are so desperate they absolutely can’t choose to ignore whatever option I offer.

Adding to my shear bliss in such situations is when I have to make such an offer to someone who stabbed me in the back or I assumed they did. Mercy to me is the name of a chick I knew who used to work the corner of — um you get the idea.

But of course what good would it be to hold up such a glorious and vile standard and not also be a devoted hypocrite? For me if I find myself in the situation where somebody else has the means to dictate terms to me I am not a happy camper about it. I’m a whiner. I will vent a great deal about the injustice. I can dish it out so to speak, but never expect me to enjoy taking it in that regard.

Now my basic philosophy in that regard is to try and bribe as many people as I can to be sure when I have an emergency I keep out of that situation. That also means I have to be careful that I don’t stab those allies in the back. Well as long as there is a chance I’ll need them down the road.

What we are talking about here is basic Limburger Social Policy. In other words, be social as long as you get what you want. You were expecting maybe me to talk about some dribble such as making friends?

Ah yes the guidelines for me will always be best observed when I never forget my number one rule. That is “Rash first and everyone else way down on the priority scale.” It is a rule that I normally don’t have to augment with any other rules.

The big pain is having to lie about it with people like the voters. But you know after a while I have learned to cope with that problem. It does help when I count on people not remembering the campaign promises I didn’t keep by the next election.

In the meantime here’s hoping you find that smile you need to get when you have to deal with some form of cooperation. May it ultimately end up on your side of the plus column!