GEMS IN THE CLOSET

Closets are wonderful tools. You can hide so many things in them. Even give them special names such as one just to use for storage or supplies. Yep as a space the closet just is so useful.

Of course the best thing is how you can hide things in them. Behind a door and keeping it locked means you can spare yourself from letting anyone know what is being stored there.

For somebody like myself with so many things to hide other than the normal stuff a closet is almost like a temple. Only in some cases I have to keep some real scandalous gems in them so naturally I definitely have to pick somewhere that is extra well hidden for my closet.

It is a shame that need and honesty aren’t always the same thing. But I’m astute enough to know that for a person like me there are just the facts of life that you can’t afford to let the world see all those little brain gems if you want to keep getting elected.

Heck I can’t even afford to tell some of my acquaintance in some cases about all my closets. Oh it goes beyond the issue of trust you understand. I do naturally differentiate between trust and stupidity. After all it is amazing what wealth will do to some people. And the kind of wealth where you talking about that comes from bribery or blackmail now that is a real tempting gem in the crowds that I happen to belong.

I will admit though that it is very hard to avoid the desire at times to show off my gems. The ego just begs to be satisfied. And so naturally I do get those moods where I tell myself, “Okay Rash old buddy it is time to show the world the real Mayor Limburger. So let’s take out those keys and open up all the closet and let everyone take a real long look. But NO touching!”

Yeah I have those conversations. They normally last only a short time. And I generally do a good job of making sure I don’t give into those urges no matter how much booze I need to resist the desire.

As of late I have been toying with the question of whether or not I should make arrangements for the time when I pass on to allow those closets to be viewed. It might be an interesting and entertaining way to help all the mourners cope with their grief.

Then I stop kidding myself. When I die I know my kids will be too busy being out celebrating to even go to the funeral. My wife will no doubt send her regrets from some island resort where she is on her honeymoon.

As for my so-called staff and supposed friends, well the only curiosity they would have in such closets would be to find things they could use to say bad things about me. So I guess I’ll pass on that idea.

In the meantime I guess I’ll just have to admire those gems for myself. And hope nobody else finds them.