COMPLETE, SEAT AND NEAT

I personally love that sense of satisfaction that comes from having completed some project or goal. And you know what? I even feel that way when I managed to con somebody else into doing all the work. Learning that little reality truly did improve my approach to finishing tasks. At least I don’t get as stressed out by deadlines when I lie my way into getting somebody else to do all the sweating.

Now after the project or whatever is done the one thing I don’t do is let anyone else take the glory for the accomplishment. I love being in the seat of attention or honor. I mean the way I figure if I came up with the idea to do a certain project then I’m its creator. That makes me the person who gets to put his name on it as the individual responsible.

And just because somebody else did all the work doesn’t mean I still didn’t come up with the idea. So even though I didn’t do any of the work, I was there in spirit. Actually I was probably not there. I was over at some bar soaking up a different kind of spirit, but I imagine I gave the whole a passing thought and that ought to count in my book. That’s the one that is a work of fiction I give the Title “The Truth or how my way is the truth if you don’t look at the facts!” I’m not planning on publishing it of course!

Okay so I’ve given you the Limburger version of completion and all the thrills of doing it by my version of what is best. And I’m generally comfortable with the whole arrangement. I doubt you could blame me since after all I get all the benefits without any of the work.

But you might be asking how come the poor slobs I sucker into doing all the work don’t bitch more when I take all the glory for their efforts? There is a simple explanation for that. It’s called making sure I pick out the most hardworking and gullible people on the planet for such labor. Believe me that truly makes the difference.

These are the folks that I can give the excuse that for the sake of giving this project credibility and show it was endorsed by the voters that I as Mayor need to be the focus of the project. And that actually works. Oh not in every case. When it doesn’t then I go down to the thrift store and spend the couple of bucks for a used trophy. Then I take it over to a friend of mine to have a new label put on it giving the person credit for their part in the project.

It is amazing at times how easy a little cheap trophy will work in terms of getting the person to stop bitching and think they are some kind of super hero. Enough that they don’t even pay attention to the fact that it is my name that ends up in the newspapers!

Ah that folks is what makes the whole thing nice and neat in my view. A little trophy, the right kind of lie and in the end old Rash baby ends up being the one who gets remembered and that is the only thing that counts from my view. Which naturally gets rather blurry when it comes to the facts. And I suppose I ought to go and have my eyes checked out, but who wants to really spoil that kind of vision?