Liars! Liars!

I wanted revenge,
the blood of my abusers poured out slowly,
letting them bleed to death
for this unpardonable crime
against the unfortunate
bowel movement crowd.
Here I was in the midst of such crisis
my laxatives had finally kicked in
that dam of constipation about to erupt
at the moment I had gone to the movies,
in hopes of letting the flick
get my mind off what wasn’t
coming out of my behind.

Then it hit me,
first that rumbling inside
before I felt the pressure in my rear end
like a bomb was about to explode.
Rushing to the bathroom,
reaching that stall and sitting down
relieved to see the words
on that huge gray come
“the never out toilet paper dispenser.”

Liars, liars! Is all I could think
here I was about to gusher
and there wasn’t a darn sheet
on either of those tubes!

One groan and the stuff was showering from my behind,
I was stuck and couldn’t move.

The guy by the sinks nearly gagging from the smell,
he rushed out moaning, “oh my god,”
while my own eyes watering so bad.

In my desperation I grabbed
a handful of those paper toilet seat covers,
no way was it other than a rough substitute
for that two ply.

Leaving having to walk bow legged
thinking I would have called that episode
after the television show, “Rawhide.”