ALL ISN'T FAIR AND THAT IS GREAT

Yep, you read it right I said unfair is great. Oh maybe if you are talented, smart, good looking or possess any marketable skill you want fair, but not me. Shoot if I had to depend on being successful by my qualifications without lying I’d be in big trouble.

So the system basically favors those of us who can spread the thickest and most convincing layer of manure. And speaking for those of us for whom that option works, I say thank you! Thanks for giving me a break and proving that being utterly6 incompetent doesn’t have to keep you from being rewarded in this life. Heck with the right kind of effort and publicity you can even go on to earn fame and get elected to office without ever once having done a single thing to deserve it.

I call that living the American dream. I call it a success story that screams pride. True there are plenty out there that would give it a different name and that’s okay too. As for me, well, it might not be fair to those who truly merit being popular, but it works. Come to think of it with the way I manipulate, lie and cheat most things work for me and the ones that don’t I can still claim they do.

Now that is a true measure of success in my book. That’s the one I write in pencil so I can change the information when things don’t conform to my lies and I can’t fix it in time.

As for any of you out there that would insist life ought to be more fair or equal. What can I say? Try and find a complaint department if you want. Lord knows you can find everything else on the internet so you can probably find that too.

Of course having somebody listen to your complaint and actually getting them to do something about the problem are two incredibly different options aren’t they? Ah, still the illusion of fairness and having someone to think you are cool when you aren’t is enough to keep most people content with their façade of fairness if they have one.

You might be suggesting though that if the current system didn’t afford me undeserved breaks and I got stuck having to be rewarded by my talent would I still feel the same way? Thank god I don’t have to find out. And you can be darn sure that there is no way I’m going to try and test the system to see if it can be altered. I might not be the smartest or most gifted person on the planet, but I refuse to be that dumb.

Meanwhile for you crouches out there who feel you’ve been given the shaft, well you do have my condolences. Which is the affordable way of saying I care without actually caring. Hey what can I say? Would you expect otherwise?

Gosh I wish I could spend more time reflecting on this wonderful subject, but I’m late for a special dinner where they are giving me yet another award that I don’t deserve. In fact I can’t even remember what this one is for. I think it is for being a humanitarian or something. Well I’ll take the trophy and add it to my case along with all the others I’ve collect and didn’t deserve. What can I really say about that? As long as my name is on the thing, it is good enough for me. It has to be since I couldn’t get any of them by my abilities!