My Bow-Widow Blessing

 

I sure do love my new pedigreed Spi-dog

so much better than when I had that pet hog,

no worries about needing a collar for fleas

since he devours them like me eating peas.

 

Sure glad I found that new canned Alpo “fly meal”

and buying it by the truck load was such a deal,

just keeps my Bow-Widow full so he won’t try to steal

any bugs out of the mailman’s pants that his nose might reveal.

 

Course he’s got some different ways of playing fetch

on account of that web, which his tail tries to outstretch,

plus he don’t act like any canine when it comes to trees

for he lifts his leg and pisses poison when he pees.

 

Am kind of stressed over what happens when he mates

because he does seem to fancy tarantulas for his dates,

not fun to see his trying to getting lucky at my front door

with my neighbors awaken by his howling romance chore.

 

Can’t say I’m thrilled about when those arachnid gals have kids

because I reckon they’ll be crawling under plates and even lids,

have no idea how many come to a litter that will come along

only hope they don’t act weird and do something really wrong.

 

Wonder if I can have much luck finding them all homes

where they don’t build lots of nests as dozens of silky domes,

imagine people will get angry if a Spi-dog breeds enough to eat them

suppose that would not be remembered as a wonderful memory’s gem.